


My Way

by pealizard



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Italian Mafia, M/M, Period-Typical Homophobia, Slow Burn, So much angst, very slow burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-12 10:07:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 40,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29258679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pealizard/pseuds/pealizard
Summary: Akaashi is a petty thief who is strong armed into paying off a life debt to his new hot headed boss as he enters young adulthood.AKA I rewrite “The Irishman” but worse and gay
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou
Comments: 3
Kudos: 8





	My Way

**Author's Note:**

> This is deserving of pretty much any content warning, I won’t lie. If it’s offensive, it’s probably in here. I think that it’s mostly important to note there are mentions of miscarriages and domestic violence (no descriptions, just vague mentions).

Akaashi dragged his chronically trembling hands across the cold metal of the table. He gazed at the young woman who sat across from him with her notepad, pen and recording device. He smacked his lips together, his mouth too dry to be considered comfortable.

“Would you like some water, Mr. Akaashi?”

“Please,” he nodded.

He waited patiently as the woman produced a water bottle from her bag and placed it on the table in front of him. He stared at it until she chuckled nervously and undid the cap for him. He thanked her quietly before taking a small sip, feeling the cool liquid slide all the way down to his stomach.

“Are you prepared to begin?”

“As I’ll ever be,” he sat back as she started the recorder.

“Mr. Akaashi, why is it now that you want to speak about this? You’ve been absolutely silent for over thirty years now.”

Akaashi ran his hand over his mouth as he considered his words, “I’m old now, as you can clearly see. I don’t know how much longer I have to do this. I figured it was time.”

“Were you planning on taking this to the grave?”

Akaashi shrugged, “Truth be told, I don’t know what I was thinking of doing. I haven’t had to make my own decisions since I was roughly seventeen years old. So, when I learned I finally could, I didn’t know where to begin.”

The woman nodded as she stared intently, “I see. What pushed you to finally make this decision, then?”

Akaashi’s lips pushed into the most minute smile, “Kōtarō Bokuto.”

“Caporegime Kōtarō Bokuto?”

“The one and only,” Akaashi breathed. “Kōtarō ‘Trigger Finger’ Bokuto.”

“He’s been dead for three decades. So, why now?”

“Because, he’s been dead for three decades. And he can’t give me orders anymore.”

She blinked at his intensity, “Right. I see.”

“Also… Kōtarō Bokuto— I always called him Honey, though not for the reasons you’d likely think. Honey was a man of many qualities and qualifications. If you came to know him as I have, you’d know he was not a man to die silently, in secret. He wasn’t a man to just _disappear_ like so many of the rest of them. This is what he’d want.”

She nodded, “Why did you call him Honey if his nickname was Trigger Finger?”

“That’s what he was to me before I learned of his name. It just stuck. It took a long while for me to _actually_ call him that. Actually, it took a long time for me to call him by _any_ real name,” Akaashi clarified. “Let me tell you about the day I met honey.”

She nodded confusedly at his confused way of speaking and gestured for him to speak.

* * *

Akaashi ran down the slick alleyway. Rain hazed down, nothing more than a cold sheet of wet that stood in his way. His breath puffed out in clouds before his face as he panted deeply and glanced back over his shoulder. His heart pounded, threatening to break out of his chest by the time the shadows of the alley consumed him entirely.

“What’s up with you?”

Akaashi came to a hasty stop as he nearly ran into a man completely secluded in the darkness. His entire body froze as the man took a drag from his cigarette, momentarily lighting his soft features. He was young.

Probably in his twenties somewhere. He glanced behind himself again, and noticed there was no longer the sound of heavy footfalls pounding along through the puddles behind him. He let out a shaky exhale before sucking another breath in. His lungs burned. He hadn’t run that hard in so long.

“Hello?”

Akaashi looked back at him, too paralyzed with fear to speak. His head snapped back as he heard a man shout out.

_“Get the fuck out here! I’ll find ya anyway!”_

The man laughed from his position against the wall, “So you’re hiding. That it?”

Akaashi gulped and looked back at him before hesitantly nodding once. He didn’t know the smoking man. He _did_ know that hiding behind him wasn’t smart— but it was smarter than succumbing to a certain and untimely death.

“Hide, then.”

Akaashi furrowed his brow and his pulse quickened as the man seemed to be getting close.

 _“Keiji Akaashi! So help me_ god _when I find you, I’ll fucking murder you!”_

He looked back to the man with the cigarette as he took another drag. The soft orange light lit his amusedly raised brow. Akaashi let out another shaky exhale before nodding again and making his way to behind a dumpster along one side of the alleyway. He pressed his back harshly against the cold surface as he tried to suck in as much air as quietly as possible. He squeezed his eyes shut tightly as he heard the sound of dragging feet at the mouth of the alley.

Akaashi took a deep breath in and peeked around the side of the dumpster. The man he ran from slowly walked down the alley, slapping his bat against his shin as he went. The smoking man smoked no longer and dragged his butt against the brick to snub it out before curiously placing it in his pocket. The man he ran from’s attention snapped over to the smoking man.

Akaashi frowned deeply and sunk further down until he sat on the ground as he watched the tense scene unfold.

“He brought ya right to me, huh?” Smoking man laughed. “How ya doin’, Shiro?”

Shiro blinked at him, “K—“

Smoking man quickly held his index finger over his lips and gestured vaguely to Akaashi’s location with his head, “Oh, no. We’re not alone. See, that’s actually what I’m here to talk to you about.”

“What?” Shiro breathed, backing away from him.

“Those loose lips of yours,” smoking man took a pair of leather gloves from his pocket and slowly pulled them on, examining the way they covered his fingers as he spoke casually. “They’re becoming quite the issue, dontcha think?”

Shiro slowly shook his head as he continued backing away, mouthing something he couldn’t quite get out there.

“That’s what the consigliere thinks. You sure you don’t think so?”

There was a deafening silence as smoking man simply stared at Shiro, while Shiro stared between smoking man and the only way out— directly past him.

Akaashi clutched his hand over his heart as Shiro dropped his bat and turned to run, but smoking man grabbed him easily by the collar of his damp shirt and threw him harshly to the ground.

Akaashi let out an audible gasp as Shiro hit the ground with an excruciating thud. Smoking man’s eyes found him as he placed one muddy boot on Shiro’s chest.

“Turn around, Keiji Akaashi. Close your eyes. Plug your ears. This isn’t for you.”

The sound of his name falling out of this man’s mouth terrified him. It terrified him so much, but he couldn’t do as he was told. He simply stared forward as Shiro— the man who just moments ago wanted him dead— squirmed and whimpered beneath the smoking man’s boot. That was, until smoking man removed said boot and allowed him to stand again. Shiro stared hesitantly between him and the mouth of the alley once again. Akaashi stared in shocked horror as Shiro shuffled by him.

_‘He’s just letting him go after that? What was the point?’_

But how wrong he was. Smoking man simply strolled over to the abandoned bat, twisting it between both palms as if going up to bat in the bottom of the ninth.

“Turn around, Keiji. Last warning.”

Akaashi held his breath, but the danger his body finally felt allowed him to move. He didn’t want to be at the other end of that bat next, though he couldn’t foresee another outcome. He squeezed his eyes shut against the loud sound of dull thuds and cracking bone.

_‘Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus—‘_

“How about now? Still think it’s not a problem? Are you going to tell me Rintarō is _wrong?”_

Shiro let out a pained groan, but otherwise did not respond. Akaashi heard the sound of shuffling feet before the steel bat kissed the ground once again. 

“You’re lucky I don’t let you tell him that, yourself.”

Then, he heard a mechanical clacking he’d only heard before in movies. He placed his hands solidly over his ears as the clacking and churning metal seared into him like a hot knife. His hands did nothing to protect him against the assaulting noises.

“You know what rats get?”

Akaashi felt tears push from his eyes at the muffled sound of Shiro begging.

“God, no. Not a chance to _explain._ They get shot in the fuckin’ mouth so everyone else knows what a dirty _rat_ they _were.”_

Akaashi pressed his face into his knees as he pushed at his ears, urging it all to stop. His tears fell heavier and hotter than the rain into his jeans as he cried silently, not willing to make a noise.

“Last words?”

Shiro’s muffled pleas then rang out fully well for all of a moment before he was silenced mid-word by the loudest sound Akaashi had ever heard in his young life. His eyes snapped open as his eardrums burned. His tears fell silently from his eyes as he attempted and failed to pull air into his lungs. His horror only grew, but stayed oddly in place, as those muddy boots strolled over to him. He slowly looked up and met eyes with the barrel of a gun.

“Here’s the deal. I let you live. You get up, shut your mouth, walk beside me, and _smile.”_

Akaashi let out the ghost of an exhale, only motivated to stand when the gun approached and kissed him lightly on the forehead.

“You have all of a second to make this decision.”

Akaashi hurriedly stood, clambering against the dumpster and swallowed dryly. The man nodded and gestured to the far end of the alleyway.

Akaashi walked slowly until he was prodded in the back with the single best negotiator he’d ever met. They quickly made their way out onto one street before cutting down another alleyway and found themselves on a very populated, well lit street. Akaashi breathed in the food in the air and stared blankly at the neon lights.

“Smile,” the man whispered. “You’re happy to be in the city.”

Akaashi forced a smile onto his face, knowing it wasn’t convincing. He didn’t know where he was going. He didn’t know if he’d even live to see it. They walked for a decent amount of time amongst the people. Akaashi risked a glance up at him and saw the way the neon bounced off his dark hair and eyes. He let out a shaky sigh and stared forward again, then gasped as he was pushed down a new alley quicker than he could process it.

The man kept a firm grasp on him by his elbow before leading him down a short set of stairs and hitting the metal door at the bottom with three slow, hard raps.

Akaashi kept his eyes on the ground as he heard shifting metal and the door finally opened. He was led harshly within the dark room and he squinted against the thick sting of cigarette smoke.

“Who is this?”

“A kid.”

“I _see that,”_ an irritated voice strained. “Why?”

Akaashi finally looked up and saw he was in a very small room that contained only a metal table, folding chair, ashtray and small black and white television. Oh, as well as a wooden door on the far wall. He just hoped he wouldn’t have to see what was behind that door, but if he had to choose between that door or no door at all— Well.

“He happened to be in the way.”

“Sounds like you just weren’t doing your job.”

“He brought ‘im right to me. He listens well, too. He didn’t deserve to die,” he paused. “Why am I explaining to you? Shut your goddamn mouth.”

Akaashi watched the man with the blond hair consider him, “They won’t like it.”

“I didn’t _ask_ for your opinion. You’re lucky I don’t slap you in the mouth for speaking to me like this.”

“Forget about it!” The blond laughed.

“You forget about it!” The smoking man shook his head. “You forget yourself. Let us in.”

The man raised his hands in surrender and Akaashi couldn’t help but notice the metal that was exposed beneath his shirt before he went back to his folding chair. He was led once again by the elbow through the wooden door and was confronted by a _very_ nice room.

He gazed around the elegant space, surprised by the lack of people. There was a large oak table over hardwood floors. The walls were white but deep red drapes hung themselves along the otherwise bare surfaces. Above the table hung a chandelier.

“Sit,” the man demanded.

Akaashi nodded and sat in a chair around the round table. He stared into the ashtray at the centre of it, wondering if he’d ever go home again. He listened as the man disappeared from within the room and waited patiently for him to come back.

He felt nothing. He saw nothing. He knew nothing. He was so deeply afraid, disturbed and traumatized that he could no longer process any of it. Everything that happened simply was. 

He really wasn’t sure how long he sat there for before his ears pricked as the man came back to the room. It felt like lifetimes, complete with their afterlives.

“You seriously didn’t blindfold him? _Or_ tie his hands? _Then_ you left him alone in this fucking room? Are you actually _braindead?”_ A demanding voice shouted.

“He’s fine,” smoking man muttered.

“Did you even search him? Seriously, who promoted you?”

“Our _boss._ You wanna go tell him how stupid he is? I’d love to see it.”

Demanding huffed then spoke loudly to Akaashi, “Stay there and shut your eyes.”

Akaashi folded his hands in his lap as he shut his eyes.

“Hands on the table,” smoking man demanded.

“And _no_ peeking,” new voice said.

Akaashi did as he was told and felt panic wash over him as a soft material was wrapped around his eyes. He attempted opening his eyes, but couldn’t see through the blindfold as expected.

“Forgive me,” new voice said. “We can’t be having you knowing our faces until we know what to do with ya.”

“The solution is simple to me,” a breezy voice said as his shoes clicked across the room and Akaashi gasped as he felt cool metal against the back of his head.

“He’s a _kid,”_ new voice snapped. “Fuck off with that thing.”

Akaashi’s shoulders slumped as he let out a harsh exhale as the gun was pulled away from his head again.

“The boss will _really_ hate this,” a warm voice said from across the table. “You know how he feels about surprises.”

Akaashi swallowed thickly as a new set of footsteps entered the equation and slowly dragged out the chair next to him. He heard someone sit heavily and exhale harshly.

“Why are we wasting our time with this?” His voice sounded like the warmest, smoothest honey he’d ever heard. “I don’t think this situation calls for all of us to be here.”

“What? Of course it concerns all of us.”

“How?”

Smoking man sighed, “He saw my face. He knows what happened. We can’t have him runnin’ around with that kind of information.”

“Kill him,” breezy said.

 _“No,”_ honey snapped. “We don’t kill kids.”

“He was old enough to be chased down an alley with a bat, how young can he be?”

Akaashi squeezed his eyes shut as he felt honey’s knee brush against his and the heavy smell of his cologne wafted up to him as he leaned in.

“How old are ya, kid?”

Akaashi couldn’t answer as his shocked brain couldn’t process the question.

“Hey, _kid,”_ honey snapped. “How old are ya?”

“Seventeen,” Akaashi breathed.

“See?” Honey leaned back. “Kid. Have some class, ya fuckin’ animal.”

“Anyone over nine isn’t a kid,” breezy said.

“Seventeen isn’t a kid. Sorry to say,” smoking man reluctantly agreed.

“Listen,” honey said heavily. “You did this favor for me, so I’ll handle the kid. No one says anything to Rintarō or Nekomata for now. The boss doesn’t need to know just yet either, okay? I’ll tell ‘em myself.”

“You want us to keep a secret from Rintarō? You know he’ll find out about this,” smoking man said.

“Rintarō trusts me,” honey laughed, freezing Akaashi’s soul. “I’ll figure this out.”

“Whatever,” smoking man sighed. “I get to clip Shiro _and_ not deal with Rintarō? _And_ you might just get killed, too? Must be my birthday.”

“Get outta here,” honey laughed again. “I’ll deal with this.”

Akaashi held his breath as the men all muttered amongst themselves as they departed from the room. He distinctly heard the sound of smoking man whistling a cheerful tune. 

_‘How macabre.’_

His entire body tensed up as he heard honey stand and make his way behind his chair before slowly pulling him away from the table. Akaashi’s hands fell from the cold, oak surface and into his lap.

“Stand. We’re going to see if you have any fun lil’ toys on ya.”

Akaashi slowly stood on trembling knees. He moved his arms out of the way as large hands made their way over his chest, down to his hips, then over his jean pockets. The hands paused there and pulled everything he had in there out. Akaashi cringed as he heard his things thudding dully against the table. The hands resumed down his pant legs, dipped into his socks, then left his body. Akaashi let out a silent and relieved exhale at the loss of contact.

Honey pulled lightly on the tails of his blindfold, “If I take this off you are you going to remember my face?”

Akaashi’s reeling mind floundered for a second before he leaned towards the fight reflex— flight just wouldn’t work. If he wanted to live, he had to think fast. He slowly shook his head.

“I’m blind,” he whispered.

“Deaf, too?”

Akaashi nodded and breathed, “Deaf, too.”

Honey hummed flatly before he slipped the blindfold from around his face. Akaashi slowly blinked at the floor as honey’s shiny loafers clacked their way across the floor in front of him.

“What were ya doing being chased by a bat?”

Akaashi let out a slow breath, unsure of the correct response. His brain still only heard the gunshot. He only heard pleading and then _nothing._

Honey sat on the table, feet still meeting the floor. Akaashi slowly looked up to where he toyed with the black silk around his fingers. Honey flourished the material out.

“This was surely the most expensive thing to ever touch your skin,” he mused. “We like to treat our guests kindly. Though, we expect they return the gesture with similar respect. So, why don't you go ahead and answer the question? What was Shiro doing chasing you down with a bat?”

“He wanted to kill me,” Akaashi breathed.

He slowly looked even further up to where honey stared at him with a decidedly blank expression. Akaashi immediately understood he gave the wrong answer. Honey raised his light eyebrows at him before clicking his tongue.

“Your life depends on this test, kid. No retakes.”

 _‘I didn’t even study, though,’_ he thought, but outwardly he just nodded.

“How do you know Ogura Shiro?”

“I’ve never met a man by that name,” Akaashi said.

Honey’s eyebrows raised and the corner of his mouth twitched up, “That so?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Then, I suppose you never found yourself in an alleyway with him this evening?”

“No.”

“Where were you instead?”

“In the city with my friend.”

“Your friend? What does your friend look like?” Honey placed the scarf off to the side.

“I can’t remember,” Akaashi breathed. “I’m too drunk.”

“It sounds like you’ve never met this friend before.”

“He’s a friend of a friend. I don’t know him well,” Akaashi spoke to the ground. “He’s a good man and wouldn’t hurt a soul.”

Honey nodded and gestured to the large wads of stolen cash on the table, “What about this?”

“I’ve never seen it. I don’t know where it came from.”

“I see. Then, you don’t mind if I just hold onto it, since it came from nowhere. How fortunate it was to find what must be _four thousand_ entire dollars just sitting on my table.”

“I—“ Akaashi pursed his lips. He needed that money. If he didn’t leave with the money, it was all for nothing. “What luck.”

“You have a knack for lying.”

Akaashi glanced up into honey’s amused expression, “It’s as though my life depends on it.”

Honey frowned at him for an excruciating moment. Akaashi was sure he’d be shot. Sarcasm at the steep price of his life. What a way to go. Just as he was resigning to his fate of a short execution, honey threw his head back and laughed.

“Funny. I like you, kid. What’s your name?”

Akaashi stared forward. Smoking man already knew his name, not that he thought lying would do him much good regardless.

“Akaashi.”

“Akaashi,” honey stretched it out like taffy, similarly attempting to taste it on his tongue. “Nah. I’m gonna call you Baby, because you’re just a ‘lil baby. I think we can find some use of you. How are ya at taking direction?”

Akaashi stared up at him, suddenly wishing he’d just allowed Shiro to beat him with the bat without running at all. Then he could’ve skipped all the middle.

“I’m not sure.”

“Hopefully better than you are at making a decision,” honey smirked. “Though, that speaks for itself. You can leave.”

Akaashi stared at him with wide, unbelieving eyes. He glanced sideways at the door he surely hoped to see the other side of again. Honey slowly looked to the door as well and nodded, meeting Akaashi’s eyes severely and both with humor.

“You should only steal from the dead. They can’t chase you down.”

Akaashi squeezed his eyes shut for a moment before he slowly turned but only made it four steps when honey chilled him to his core once again.

“I’ll be in touch.”

Against his better judgment, he turned and gazed at honey. He sat on the table still with one hand in his suit pants while he used the other to light a cigarette while he stared on in amusement. Akaashi slowly shook his head, but honey spoke again before he could.

“You should be thanking me, you know.”

Akaashi blinked at him, hearing the gunshot over and over and over and over and over and over—

“You haven’t seen _my_ gun even once. _My_ gun is the one to be afraid of. If I take it out, that mean I’m usin’ it.”

Akaashi watched in horror as he removed his hand from his pocket and lifted the hem of his suit jacket, exposing his gun to him. The teenager gasped slightly and backed away, but honey simply let his coat conceal the weapon once again. He laughed as he stood and strolled easily to Akaashi. But not before he picked up the money in both hands, cigarette hanging from his lips.

He placed both handfuls of cash into his then bulging pockets. He patted his pocket lightly with his left hand while taking his cigarette back with his right.

“Consider that your first contribution, huh?”

Akaashi had no choice but to meet his shockingly golden eyes. Honey’s gaze was sharp, it saw right through him. He took a slow drag from his cigarette, forcing Akaashi to breathe in his poison. His gaze was so intense that he had to look away from it.

“This face is the most important one you’ll ever forget, Baby,” honey took him by the chin and forced him to meet his eye again as he took another slow drag. “This is the face that let you live. Remember that.”

Akaashi let out a trembling breath and nodded, staring into his piercing gaze long after his hand left his face. Honey snorted amusedly from his nose and nodded back before turning around, walking further into the building.

“Remember it when you’re called on, kid. Remember what we did for you tonight. What _I’ve_ done for you.”

Akaashi slowly took a few steps back, but froze as honey paused. 

“Forget my face, but remember my kindness. Remember that I let you walk next time you find yourself before one of my men.”

Akaashi’s heart pounded audibly in the silence of the room as he stared at the back of honey’s head. He didn’t look back at him as he spoke, his voice as clear as a bell, and as smooth as the honey he was named after. 

“And remember what happens to rats.”

* * *

“You call him honey because of his voice?”

“His voice was all I knew of him for a long while. Even after I learned his name, it simply felt wrong to use it.”

“I’m surprised he let you go.”

“The first two things I learned about Kōtarō Bokuto occurred both during that interaction,” Akaashi smiled fondly. “The first was that he had an inclination for the finer things. Money, women, homes, cars. All of it. His insatiable greed and want for all things material were what drove him. I had something to offer him, and he wanted it.”

She frowned slightly and leaned in on her hands, “What’s the second, then?”

“Honey had the uncontrollable _need_ to be liked. He needed to be seen as the _good guy._ The one you could trust, the one you went to above all else. He wanted to be known for being kind and just.”

“Do you think that contributed to his death?”

“I think it so directly caused his death that it should be written on his death certificate.”

“Wow.”

“When did he call upon you, then? What’d he have you do? How was he so sure he could trust you?”

Akaashi took a painful sip from his water bottle, “Trusting me was something he always did. I couldn’t tell you why. I went three entire months without hearing from him. And when I did, it wasn’t even him I heard from.”

“What’d he have you do?”

“Shoot a man dead.”

She stared at him, attempting and failing to keep her shock hidden. She slowly nodded. 

“Was that your initiation into the family?”

“Not willingly,” Akaashi breathed through a laugh. “That was my first in many acts of paying back a life debt.”

“Would a life for a life not be equal exchange?”

Akaashi shook his head, “Equal meant nothing to Honey. The most was not enough for him. That is a fundamental truth about him. He had a lot of truths. He showed me kindness in his mercy and I owed him _everything._ And oftentimes, everything was more than I had.”

“Tell me about your murder, then.”

“Sure,” Akaashi’s casual tone drove ice into her heart. “You never forget your first.”

* * *

Akaashi shook his knee violently as he chewed on the back of his pencil. He stared straight ahead at the doors to the library, waiting for something, though he wasn’t sure what. 

He started studying at the public library rather than at his house because he couldn’t cope with the silence any longer. The three months that passed between then and now did nothing to water down the intensity of his memory of that night. 

Every time things got too quiet he just heard the orchestral sounds of pleading, grinding metal, bat hitting bone and the gun. The gun. The gun. The gun. The gun. The gun. The gun only died into the sound of a cheerful whistle.

Every time things got too dark he only saw Smokey leaning down and standing up to bat. He only saw the eye of a gun. He only saw the muted darkness of black silk rubbing against his cheeks. He saw honey eyes and easy smiles. 

He smelled only cigarettes and their smoke gagging him by both the nose and mouth. He smelled the heavy scent of Honey’s cologne as he leaned in to demand information he didn’t really want the answer to. He smelled the rain and rolling smoke of an ignited bullet.

On his tongue he tasted fear and metal. The poignant smell of coppery blood existed so thickly along his nostrils that he tasted it in his dry mouth each time he attempted to swallow the memory down.

His attention snapped back to the present as another teenager entered the building. Akaashi fell still as he turned his head to the pages but kept his eyes on the teen as he bounced up the stairs and disappeared amongst the shelves. He let out a slow exhale before gazing at the clock.

He’d been at the library for three hours and only managed to read the same paragraph halfway through about six times. He sighed again and froze as he felt someone staring at him from behind. He stiffly turned his head and saw the teen standing at a shelf behind him, intently focused on his book. He let out a shaky breath as his nerves settled again. He toyed nervously with the corner of his page as his gaze lingered behind him.

_‘I’ve gotten so paranoid.’_

He turned back around and dropped his pencil as the blond man from the small room sat before him. He shook his head and quickly went to stand when the man held a hand out to him.

“Sit. Breathe,” he whispered. _“Relax.”_

Akaashi froze and slowly shook his head before whispering, “Why are you here?”

“Pack up. We’re going for a walk.”

Akaashi was rooted to his spot, his worst nightmares crawling to the front of his brain. He thought that three months of nothing meant nothing would be coming. He blinked slowly at the blond man.

The man stared back, then slowly slunk back against his chair and draped one arm across the empty seat beside him. Akaashi glanced down to the metal threat that pressed against his white shirt beneath his tan jacket.

“The day you knew would come is here. C’mon, we have a time limit.”

Akaashi quickly got to work packing his things up before standing and putting his jacket on. He slung his bag over his chest and made his way to the door, very aware of blondie trailing right behind him. They walked for a long while through the night before blondie pushed him down a side street.

“You’ve caused quite the issues, let me tell ya,” he muttered as he approached a large pile of wooden pallets.

Akaashi watched in silence as he removed some from the top and pulled a large black duffel bag from within. He then put his hand out to Akaashi, expecting something, but he didn’t know what.

“Gimme your bag. You don’t need it where we’re going.”

Akaashi gripped the strap tightly as blondie finally looked at him and sighed.

“You’ll get it back, okay? Provided you do as you're told. Give me the bag, Keiji Akaashi.”

The sound of his full name on the lips of the dangerous stranger sent enough fear into his heart that he obeyed. He slid the bag off and handed it to blondie, who snatched it and threw it into the hollowed pallets. He then opened his own bag and threw Akaashi a pair of leather gloves before pulling his own on. Then, Akaashi watched in horror as he pulled a handgun from the bag and handed it up to him.

Akaashi shook his head as he gripped the leather tightly in his hands. Blondie glared up at him.

“What don’t you understand about time pressure? Take the fuckin’ gun.”

“I can’t,” Akaashi breathed, not able to even process what’d be asked of him once he took it.

Blondie glared harder and easily placed the gun into his own hand before pointing it at Akaashi, finger on the trigger, “I’ll make the choice simple. You take the fuckin’ gun, or _I_ take the fuckin’ gun and shoot _you_ in the fuckin’ head. Understand?”

Akaashi reached out with a shaking hand and blondie shifted the gun out of his proper grasp before thrusting it into Akaashi’s. Akaashi wanted to throw up at the weight of the cool material in his palm.

“No matter what happens, that gun leaves with you. Listen to me and it won’t have to leave on your corpse, ya hear?”

Akaashi gulped as he watched blondie remove a few more firearms from the bag and hide them in different places beneath his clothing. When he was done, he threw the bag back into the palettes and replaced the missing ones from the top. Blondie looked at him and sighed at his green complexion.

“The boss gave his final word,” he said. “You need to get your hands dirty before they leave you alone.”

Akaashi gagged slightly as bile pushed up his throat and he stared at the gun in his hand. At least, he _thought_ it was his hand. He didn’t feel very connected to the hand that held the gun, nor to the feet that stood in the alley, nor to the eyes that watched blondie tie a cloth around his forearm.

“Put your gloves on and put that in your pocket, pretend it’s not there,” blondie muttered as he turned and walked only three buildings down. Akaashi did as he was told and followed numbly behind him, then watched as he removed a tool from his pocket.

“Say _nothin’,_ okay, kid? Don’t fuck this up. Just listen to me and it’ll be fine.”

Akaashi nodded absently as blondie picked the lock at the back of the short apartment building before them.

“I always get stuck with the shit jobs,” blondie breathed as the door came unlocked.

Blondie gestured for Akaashi to go in first, which he did. He was then led up the stairs, which blondie didn’t even attempt to do quietly. Akaashi furrowed his brow as he stayed closely behind him, only knowing that he’d be safe— or as close to safe as he could be— if he hid behind the dangerous man. He watched as he picked yet another lock at the top of the three floors.

Blondie opened that door as well, allowing Akaashi in before him.

Akaashi’s eyes stung at the thick stink within the dirty, dark apartment. Garbage and squalor overtook the small space. Almost nothing was visible beneath it. He turned as he heard blondie lock the door behind them.

“Why’d you lock that?”

Blondie glanced at him as he found a garbage bag and shook it open, “We don’t wanna tip ‘im off. I told you not to talk. Go sit down.”

Akaashi nodded and did as he was told again, sitting on the rotting sofa and staring down into the empty takeout containers and various drug paraphernalia on the table in front of him. His attention snuck back to blondie as he walked around the apartment, pawing through belongings and occasionally taking things and throwing them into the bag. That was made hard as the couch was rather secluded behind larger piles of garbage. Surely— hopefully— he’d be hidden from view as whoever they awaited returned home.

Some items blondie took included a wallet, a watch, a baggie of white powder and what appeared to be an antique zippo lighter. When he was through, he tossed the bag onto the garbage on the table and sat heavily in an equally rotted chair across from Akaashi.

He removed a cigarette from his pack before holding it out to Akaashi, “Smoke?”

Akaashi shook his head and blondie shrugged as he lit his own. They stayed in silence for a long moment while blondie smoked before he spoke.

“You caused quite a deal of trouble.”

 _‘So you’ve said,’_ Akaashi thought.

“Quite the upset in management.”

Akaashi said nothing and asked no questions as he just felt that obeying his previous order of silence would fare the best for him.

“You’re lucky to have such a powerful advocate, though I’m not sure why. The boss thought it easier to have you dead and I have to say I agree. I’d love to _not_ babysit some kid while doing this job.”

 _‘Advocate?’_ he thought as his vision flashed honey.

“Anyone who sees a capo’s face that isn’t made doesn’t get the luxury of forgetting him. Out of his own volition, anyway. And you saw _two_ and still walked.”

_‘Capo? The hell is a capo?’_

Obviously, Honey was a capo. Smokey, too. He frowned as he thought of Honey telling him to forget his face but never what he’d done for him.

 _‘If it’s any consolation, blondie,’_ he thought, _‘I am not awarded the luxury of forgetting, either. Alive or otherwise.’_

Their heads snapped up and blondie fell deathly silent as he sunk into the chair at the sound of the door unlocking. Akaashi mirrored him and attempted to disappear into the ratty, smelly couch. He listened as a man entered the apartment and clattered and stomped around. His attention turned to blondie who caught his eye as he removed his gun from his pants and indicated for Akaashi to do the same.

It was only the sight of the metal negotiator that made him do it. He held the gun heavily in his leather clad hand and hurriedly followed blondie as he quickly stood and held his gun up.

Once he was standing, the man was clearly visible to him. He leaned over the counter as he snorted a thin line of powder. His head snapped up and Akaashi swore he saw his soul leave his body as his eyes landed on blondie.

“Doi Kichirou,” blondie called out into the fatal silence. “You owe me something.”

“I—“ Kichirou backed away and ran into the far counter, knocking several things over in his wake. “No. No, no, no, no, n—“

 _“Shut up,”_ blondie demanded, and he did as he was told.

Akaashi’s hands shook around his gun as blondie walked up to the terrified man and held the gun firmly into his side.

“Show me where you put it. I can’t find it.”

“Please,” the man breathed. “Please, d—“

“I said, _shut up,”_ blondie spat in his ear. “Show me the heroin, Doi. _Now.”_

The man visibly shook as he looked desperately on the counter, “It was here! I swear to god, it was he—“

“I was afraid you’d say that,” blondie said mournfully. “That truly was the last of it, huh? Where’s my money then?”

“Please,” the man begged tearfully as the gun was thrust harder into his side. “Pl—“

_“Where’s my fucking money, Doi?”_

Akaashi cringed as blondie shoved the man forward into the counter, pinning him tightly between the filthy surface and his gun.

Doi said nothing as he cried down onto the counter. Blondie grabbed him tightly by the hair and pulled his head back.

“You’re not ruining more of my product with your _fucking patheticness._ Show me drugs or money or I’ll show you a fast trip to God.”

The man sobbed loudly as he struggled against blondie’s vice grip on him. Blondie shook his head and spoke lowly to him.

“If you can’t show me the heroin, I’ll be forced to look for it inside your blood. Since you want to sit around tasting the product you’re meant to sell, you _fucking stupid, stupid waste of skin.”_

“Please don’t kill me,” the man pleaded.

To Akaashi’s shock and horror, blondie met his eye as he spoke, “I’m not killin’ ya.”

Akaashi held his breath as blondie walked the man into the living area and the man stared confusedly around but wore a reluctantly giddy smile.

“You’re not? I knew you were a good man, Konoha. I keep you in my prayers. I—“

 _“Shut up._ I’m not killing you. He is.”

Akaashi’s eyes grew as he vaguely processed that blondie was talking about him. His hands trembled around his gun as he shook his head.

“I— No, I— Please, god, no, I can’t.”

Blondie rolled his eyes and leaned across the table, grabbing Akaashi’s trigger hand and placed the barrel of the gun against the man’s throat. Akaashi choked on his own saliva as he felt the man swallow against the gun.

“Do it.”

“No.”

“You don't get to say _no,”_ blondie snapped. “Time pressure. Do it.”

 _“I can’t,”_ Akaashi choked.

“You’re a good kid,” the man breathed with wild, wide eyes. “You don’t need to do this. You do—“

 _“I said shut the fuck up,”_ blondie shouted as he pulled the man by the hair and kicked him behind the knees so he fell to the ground.

The man turned over onto his back and attempted to scootch away, but blondie was quick to catch him under one of his thick boots. Blondie grabbed Akaashi harshly and shoved him forward so he fell beside the man. He then stomped around behind the man and kneeled behind him before reaching over to take Akaashi by the gun hand again. He pressed Akaashi’s gun back to the man’s throat before aiming his own firearm at him.

“You kill him or I kill you,” blondie glared harshly. “And unlike you, I don’t have my reservations about it.”

Akaashi couldn’t breathe if he tried. He thought only of his mother in that moment and what it’d mean for her if he didn’t return home. Tears fell rapidly from his eyes as he stared into the man’s wild eyes.

The man’s eyes went from pleading to manipulating as he located Akaashi’s weaknesses. He quickly reached out and attempted to steal his gun from his shaking hands and Akaashi almost let him. Blondie grabbed the man again and turned the gun to his head.

“You don’t move anymore,” he turned his attention to Akaashi, “Do it. Right now. Or I _will_ kill you. I’ll hide your body. No one will ever know where you went. Your mother will have to weep over an empty cask—“

Akaashi sucked a harsh breath in as his hands shook wildly, out of control. He let out a choked sob as blondie stood and shoved the man flat against the floor, holding him down once again with a boot to his chest. Akaashi could do nothing as he was dragged forward and assisted in pressing the gun firmly just below the man’s jaw. His racing pulse was all too real through the metal of the gun.

Then, blondie pressed his own gun firmly against Akaashi’s throat, “Do it. Now.”

Akaashi sobbed loudly as he squeezed his eyes shut. Blondie cocked his gun against his throat, the cool metal burning into Akaashi’s overly hot skin.

“Last chance,” blondie whispered. “I’m not fucking around here. _Pull the fucking trigger.”_

The shock and silence that followed the loud gunshot were deranged. Akaashi felt the blood on his face, somehow cold against his burning skin. He stared on below him at the hole he created in a living human and the sea of near blackness that spilled from it. His eyes burned, though he couldn’t place why. His lungs burned in a similar fashion for an identical reason.

Blondie ripped the man’s ring off his lifeless finger before he stood quickly and took the bag from the garbage table. He took Akaashi harshly by the collar of his shirt and dragged him towards the window.

“This is the real time pressure.”

Akaashi clambered forward, numb and unfeeling. The weight of the gun that was still tightly enclosed in his hand was the only thing he felt. The gun burned into his palm. Blondie opened the window and climbed onto the fire escape before quickly forcing Akaashi out with him.

_“Cooperate.”_

Akaashi did his best. He was doing his best. His best was nothing more than a blank stare and reluctant body. Blondie sighed as Akaashi didn’t follow him down the stairs.

“I swear to god, if you get caught— No, you won’t because I’ll fucking _kill you_ first. _Move. Now.”_

The reappearance of blondie— Konoha’s best friend and unlimited wish granter drove Akaashi’s body into action. He ran painfully down the stairs just in front of Konoha, all too aware of the literal gun in his back.

The gun only went away as they got back to the palettes and Konoha removed the top few before grabbing both bags out from inside and quickly moving back to the opposite end of the alleyway. Akaashi followed blindly, only stopping when Konoha did.

“Put that away, are ya fuckin’ stupid?”

Akaashi glanced down to the gun in his hand and stared at it for as long as it took for Konoha to huff and snatch it from him, throwing it into his own pocket. They re-emerged out onto the street amongst all the people and dodged through traffic, before Konoha pushed Akaashi into a car.

Akaashi breathed heavily once they were within the warmth of the vehicle and stared at the back of a new man’s head.

“It done?”

Konoha glared at him as he ripped his gloves off and threw Akaashi’s bag on his lap then returned the guns to his own bag, “Kinda question is that? Obviously it’s done.”

“Kid got his hands dirty?”

“Prints on the gun and all.”

Akaashi gazed wearily down to the bag. That was true. He did touch the gun without the gloves on. It was only a matter of time before the police came to get him and he spent the rest of his life in jail. The rest of his life was a long time.

 _‘I’m a murderer,’_ he thought, but his shocked system couldn’t process the information.

Konoha changed his shirt, stuffing his jacket and discarded shirt into the bag before opening the window and pouring water onto the cloth he’d previously tied to his arm. He closed the window and took the wet cloth to Akaashi’s face and hair. He cleaned the blood off him before leaning back and noticing more on his neck, which he then cleaned as well. Konoha threw that cloth into the bag.

“Zip your coat up.”

Akaashi stared forward with blank eyes, unhearing. Konoha glared at him before shoving Akaashi’s bag off his lap and onto the floor and doing it himself.

They drove on for a long time. Hours. Years, maybe. Then the man parked in a residential neighborhood. They walked for fifteen minutes through the dark, cutting through yards and passing several streets. Akaashi clung to his bag as he pressed it into his chest. Once they were in an entirely new neighborhood, the new man dialled for a taxi at a pay phone.

“Take your gloves off,” Konoha muttered.

When Akaashi didn’t so much as acknowledge he was spoken to, the blondie huffed loudly and ripped them off his hands himself before pocketing them.

Akaashi stared down to where his bag fell onto the cement. He slowly reached down to grab it then cried out in pain as Konoha kicked him in the side of the head.

“Dude, what the fuck?” The new man gasped.

“He’s pissin’ me off.”

Akaashi remained kneeling, his ears ringing. He stayed there until headlights became visible at the top of the street. The new man pulled Akaashi up by the collar of his shirt and Konoha all but threw his bag back at him. Akaashi’s sight wavered as green spots formed in his vision.

He was forced into the car, sandwiched between the two men as they rode for an uncomfortable amount of time. Though, time was lost to Akaashi. He was suspended forever, alone in the universe.

They got out in an unfamiliar area and Akaashi was led once again through the darkness. He felt like his brain was splitting. His head hurt so badly that he nearly forgot the trauma. They turned down an alleyway and Akaashi frowned as he vaguely registered it as familiar. 

Konoha ceased his movement and held something out to Akaashi. The teen sighed and resigned to his fate. He held his hand out and Konoha dropped the dead man’s ring into it.

“You give that to him.”

“Okay.”

The gold burned Akaashi deeply, but he held it close. Konoha walked down the short steps, knocked on the door with three hard and distinct raps, then waited. The door opened and he held it open for his associates.

Akaashi walked in first, escorted closely by the new man then followed by Konoha. A _new_ new guy sat in the small room by the small television. He had dull brown hair and dead eyes.

“What’s up, Akira? Whatcha doin’ in New York?”

“Whatever,” Akira breathed, staring at the television which Akaashi then realized was just the image of the door directly behind him.

The new man opened the wooden door and Akaashi followed without prompting. He followed the man through the room he knew and through a long series of halls before coming to a new wooden door. Konoha walked up and knocked.

“Yes?” Honey called. “Come in.”

Konoha pushed the door open and Akaashi took in the new room. The walls were a pale green, the floors were the same hardwood as the rest of it, and there was a sturdy, glossy desk by the far wall. They stood before that desk while honey faced away from them, head leaning into one hand.

Konoha moved forward and held the duffel bag out until Honey finally decided to turn and reach out to take it from him, only to immediately drop it on the floor beside him.

The room smelled of shoe polish and cologne. And, inevitably, the obligatory stench of cigarette smoke. Soft music played out from an undiscovered source. They stood only in the company of slow guitars and squealing saxophone for a long moment before Honey spoke again.

“Leave us alone, fellas.”

The man and Konoha shared a long look before reluctantly turning and closing the door behind them. Akaashi stood entirely still as he stared at the back of honey’s head, merely seeing blood run over his vision. He also tasted it on his tongue and smelled it in his nose. He felt it slide down his skin and he could hear it pour from Doi’s neck like a leaky faucet.

Honey slowly turned his chair around and stared right back at Akaashi. His blank expression slowly stretched into a smile.

“Left a boy, returned a man. Huh?”

Akaashi said nothing as he gripped the ring tightly in his fist.

“You have somethin’ for me?”

Akaashi nodded absently and placed the ring on the desk as quickly as possible, just wanting it out of his grasp. Honey stared at it then frowned at Akaashi.

“You pick that up.”

“Sorry?”

“Don’t be sorry, be better. Pick it up.”

Akaashi frowned as he reluctantly picked it back up. Honey stared severely at him for a long moment.

“When you hand me somethin’ you place it directly in my hand. If my hand isn’t out, you _wait_ for it to be out. Understand me?”

Akaashi stared at him blankly. Honey leaned forward and slapped his hand harshly against the desk, causing Akaashi to wince.

_“You understand?”_

“Yes,” Akaashi breathed.

Honey sat back and glared at him for a terribly long time before slowly reaching his hand out. Akaashi reached out with a shaky hand and dropped the ring into his palm. Honey examined it with a shit eating grin.

“How’d he look when he kicked it, hm?”

“Dead.”

Honey glanced up at him before laughing, “Good. That sonuva— I swear, some men should’ve just stayed unborn.”

Akaashi watched through bleak eyes as Honey slid the ring onto his pinkie and held it up for him to admire. Once he received a solitary nod from Akaashi, he stood and walked around to his side of the desk and stared down at him. He took Akaashi in both hands by the upper arms and smiled at him.

Akaashi stared into his happy expression while he crumbled inwards. He wanted to cry, but he didn’t have it in him. Honey let go of him before moving to a table on the far side of the room and pouring two glasses of scotch, handing one to Akaashi, which he took with trembling hands.

“A toast,” honey held his glass up and clinked it against Akaashi’s. “To paintin’ houses.”

Akaashi glanced into his glass as Honey drank from his.

“Ya know what this means, doncha?”

Akaashi slowly shook his head slowly as he beamed at him.

 _‘Deep trouble and an early death,’_ he thought.

Honey approached and pushed Akaashi’s glass to his lips and waited for him to take a sip before speaking again. 

“Ya know, I was curious. About why ya stole that money in the first place. Or, I suppose, _didn’t_ steal.”

Akaashi tensed up and took a larger drink as Honey turned away in his musings.

“Turns out you’re _really_ easy to find. Too easy, really. Ya did it to support your momma, didn’t ya? That’s noble. It got me thinkin’. You’re loyal. And the _administration_ was already up my fuckin’ ass aboutcha, so I thought— Hey, why not? We need this guy clipped, we need a guy to clip ‘im. Why not put ‘em together? Then, if ya came out alive, you could have what we all have. And you won’t have to run from _goddamn_ bats anymore.”

He turned and smiled at Akaashi again, his voice _dripping_ with pride at his brilliant thinking.

“Ya know what that _is,_ Baby?”

Akaashi slowly shook his head and went to take another drink of the scotch when Honey placed his hand over the glass and pushed it away from his face so he could have his full attention.

“Family. Security. Met needs and met ends. Brotherhood. How great does all that sound?”

Akaashi merely stared at him.

 _‘Also murder, guns, violence and silence,’_ he thought.

“Whaddya say? The books are open and they say Keiji Akaashi.”

Akaashi slowly shook his head as the words began processing in his head. Honey’s smile slowly wilted into a frown.

“Maybe you’re not hearing me. _You_ work for _me_ and you have the world in the palm of your hand. _No one_ touches you. Not while I’m around. Your momma? Taken care of. Always. No more petty theft. Ya hear me now?”

Akaashi slowly shook his head again, “I can’t— I can’t be part of this.”

Honey’s frown quickly dissolved into anger, “You don’t say _no._ Not to me. Not _ever._ Because I’ll tell you _one thing._ I make or break you now. You _belong_ to me.”

Akaashi frowned at both his words and his anger.

“You walk outta here after saying no to me— today or _ever—_ I promise you two things. You will not make it fifteen _goddamn_ feet down that alley. And your _momma?_ Taken care of.”

His words drove an ice pick right through Akaashi’s heart.

“When a man like _me_ stands in front of a man like _you,_ you _shut up, do as you are told and smile about it._ I offer you the fuckin’ _world_ and you spit in my face! Do I deserve that?”

“No.”

 _“No,”_ honey spat.

Akaashi resisted the urge to wipe at his face as honey breathed heavily and drank the rest of his scotch in one gulp.

“You made your bones today, Keiji,” he breathed. “You’re in this or you're dead.”

“I see,” Akaashi whispered to his scotch.

“Here’s what’s gonna happen,” he sat heavily back in his chair. “You’re gonna call your momma, tell her you’re at a friend’s for the night. Then in exactly five days from today you’re going to tell her you got a job offer that you’ll begin in a week. Then, a month after that, you’re gonna tell her you’re movin’ on out. Time to start your new life, Baby. Capische?”

“Capische,” Akaashi whispered.

Honey smiled as he lit a cigarette, “You’ll work under me. The Fukurōdani crew. Once you start, you’ll see the work is good, but the money’s better. Then you can send some of it right on back to momma. Everyone is happy.”

“Yeah,” Akaashi nodded, feeling his finger back around that trigger, pulling and pulling and pulling and pulling and pulling— “Everyone is happy.”

“You can start with this,” Honey threw a small wad of money to him.

Akaashi caught it and stared down at the rolled cash secured with an elastic before looking back at him. He slowly placed the money in his coat pocket and Honey smiled widely at him.

Honey nodded slowly, took a long drag of his cigarette and puffed the smoke out as he spoke, “Everyone’s happy.”

* * *

She stared at him for a long moment when he finished speaking. Akaashi sat perfectly still save for the inevitable tremor in his hands. 

“I take it you accepted his invite into the family?”

“It was accept or die. Still, though, the decision was likely harder than you’d expect.”

“Was it always so reluctant for you?”

Akaashi hummed as he sat back, “Only in the beginning. Once you see the money and your people being taken care of the way they deserved, suddenly the nights seemed less bleak. He was right about that.”

“And what about the murder? You seemed pretty shaken up about it back then.”

Akaashi nodded before taking a trembling drink of water.

“After so long, the noises began echoing and overlapping. The begging, pleading, the guns, the blood, the laughs and shouts at bars, the playful ribbing from men twice your age— It all gets so loud that it goes quiet. Then there’s nothing. And you sleep at night without having any dreams at all. And you can go see your mother with a smile on your face. You can go shake the hands of the men, knowing fully well of all the ghosts those very hands created.”

She paused, unsure of what to say, then switched it up, “I’m surprised to hear about how angry Kōtarō got with you.”

“I disrespected him in his own house. Of course he got angry with me. I was lucky he didn’t shoot me between the eyes.”

“All other depictions of him suggested exactly as you told me— a kind and just man. It’s just surprising to hear of him blowing up and something that seems so small.”

Akaashi smiled, “His need to be seen that way stemmed from the very opposite of it being the truth. Kōtarō Bokuto was anything but just or kind. He was as capricious, volatile and explosive as they came. Especially where I was involved.”

“I see.”

“He was the kind of man who ate alone, as they said.”

“What does that mean?”

“He was a greedy son of a bitch,” Akaashi’s smile grew. “It was a wonder he was promoted at all. Though, I suppose he was damn good at what he did.”

“What was that?”

“Lie, steal, cheat— kill. He had a face you could trust. Once you get good enough at lying, it gets harder for people to lie to you. You know all the tricks. And he was a trickster if there ever was one. He was an absolute genius in his own right. A charmer, too. There was hardly a situation he couldn’t negotiate his way out of.”

“A genius in which way?”

“What he lacked in thought or premeditation, he made up for in a strong and capable crew and the _absolute_ belief and confidence he would prevail.”

“The Fukurōdani crew,” she said.

“Indeed we were,” Akaashi drank from his bottle. “I don’t think you gave Blondie the credit he deserved for the job he pulled off with the cement casing around his body that went by my very name.”

“The credit he deserved?”

“He pulled it off seamlessly despite me weighing him down. Fukurōdani was a very solid crew. Each man worked as an independent unit, but when they came together— there was _nothing_ they couldn’t do absolutely _perfectly._ That was Honey’s true strength. His people. He knew them. He picked them well. More than that, he trusted them all absolutely completely.”

“And that included you.”

“That included me more than anyone else. Honey took a particular liking to me straight away. No one could touch me. Unless it was him, I suppose. Eules never exactly _applied_ to him. He was certainly right about that. No one could so much as slight me in conversation. This strange taking he had for me was the only reason management let me live in the beginning.”

“Do you have any examples of this?”

“A million.”

* * *

Akaashi rubbed at his head as he finished his scotch. He moved back to the table and placed his glass down, turning it slowly. The scotch helped the pain a bit but the constant echo of the gunshot only made it worse.

“What’s goin’ on with your head, buddy?”

Akaashi paused for a moment, “I got hit.”

“Doi?”

“Blondie.”

“Konoha?”

Akaashi held his breath. Did that qualify as ratting? The scotch made him stupid. He spoke without thinking. Honey stood and stubbed his cigarette out in the ashtray on his desk before walking over and staring Akaashi in the eye.

“Konoha hit you?”

Akaashi refused to answer.

Honey sighed, “You don’t not answer me. I ask, you talk. No matter what. Capische?”

Akaashi nodded, “Yes. He hit me.”

_“Why?”_

“I was being a hindrance.”

Honey’s eyes turned cold as he examined Akaashi’s face, seemingly noticing the deep purple on his hairline for the first time.

“He kicked you. That’s his boot, no doubt about it.”

“Yeah. It’s fine. I—“

“That’s not your decision,” Honey snapped. “Let’s go.”

Akaashi nodded and followed him from the room, then out of the building. He couldn’t help but notice how every single person they passed refused to look up. Once they were nearly to the door, Honey passed his hand over a man’s back, who took one glance before immediately falling into stride.

“Where’s Akinori?” Honey asked.

“Boardroom.”

“Fantastic,” Honey tossed him a set of keys. “You drive.”

“Sir.”

Akaashi followed them to a sleek black car and watched the man hold Honey’s door for him before getting into the backseat. They rode in silence until the hit the true slums of the city and parked outside an old bar. Honey was out of the car nearly before it was even stopped. The man hurried to turn off the engine and ran ahead to get the door. Akaashi followed behind them and stepped into the nearly empty bar.

A few men sat at the actual bar while more sat in a booth at the far end of the room. All drank and all smoked. Konoha was one of the men at the actual bar. He complained to the man from their job earlier as they smoked heavily over their alcohol.

The men at the booth glanced up as Honey commanded all of the energy of the room, but quickly went back to their conversation. Konoha frowned as he noticed him— more particularly, how angry he was.

“Here to pay me?” Konoha attempted humor. Big mistake.

Honey grabbed him by the shirt and pulled him from the stool, “I thought I trained you better than this.”

“Than what?” Konoha asked before Honey backhanded him.

“You wanna touch my men? You wanna make a fuckin’ fool outta me?”

“No,” Konoha spat blood onto the floor. “I meant no disrespect.”

 _“No disrespect?”_ Honey spat at him before pointing to Akaashi. _“That man_ is one of us. He is a _friend of ours._ You _do not_ touch our friends. Not without _my_ permission. You do not break what does not belong to you.”

 _“I’m sorry,”_ Konoha said. “He needed to be put into place.”

“When’d that become _your_ decision? Huh?” Honey shook him by the shirt before throwing him to the floor, “From now until I decide I can trust you again, you ask me before you do _anything_ involving ‘im. A job? Ask me. Gotta talk to ‘im? Ask me. You so much as take a fucking _breath near him, you ask me first. Am. I. Understood?”_

“Yes, sir.”

“I’m not fuckin’ _stupid.”_

“I know.”

“Then why are you tryna make me seem fuckin’ _stupid?”_

“I didn’t mean to.”

Honey glared down at him, “You’re lucky I don’t take you for a ride.”

Konoha stared up at him, unmoving and unspeaking. Honey removed a wad of cash exactly identical to the one he gave Akaashi. He removed the elastic from around it and split it in half before throwing one half down onto Konoha. He turned and shoved the rest into Akaashi’s chest as he passed by.

“Consider it a fee for being a _fuckin’ idiot.”_

The man who drove their boss quickly hurried to get in front of him to hold the door for him. Konoha and Akaashi watched them go, then heard the remaining men in the bar laugh lightly before resuming their conversation. Akaashi looked to Konoha as he stood, but blondie didn’t look at him. He merely went back to his drink and lit a new cigarette. Akaashi looked around the bar, then down to the money in his hand before turning and leaving the building.

* * *

“He hit his own man?”

Akaashi nodded, “I didn’t see it often. I’ve certainly been on the receiving end of his wrath and it isn’t fun. I was a stupid kid, though. One warning from Honey usually did the trick.”

“That’s quite the contrast from all I’ve heard about him thus far.”

“I’m willing to bet you haven’t heard a singular true story about him.”

She frowned at him for a moment, “That must’ve caused problems for you with the other crewmen.”

Akaashi shrugged, “Maybe. No one wanted to work jobs with me, but I didn’t want to work jobs. Not at first, anyway. It actually all worked out with the timing. Honey had to travel to the desert and I was stuck with his better half.”

“His better half? His wife?”

Akaashi laughed for the first time in years. It stung coming from his largely unused vocal chords. He gripped the front of his shirt as the laugh subsided and then shook his head.

“Goodness, no. His better half went by the name of Tetsurō Kuroo. I’ve called him Smokey up until now.”

“Smokey is _Tetsurō Kuroo?”_

“Indeed he _was,”_ Akaashi drew a cross over his head and chest.

She frowned and leaned forward with eyes full of confusion and intrigue, “Didn’t you say Smokey killed a snitch at the beginning of this all?”

“Did he ever.”

“Caporegime Tetsurō ‘The Phantom’ Kuroo? Isn’t it strange for a caporegime to do tasks like that?”

“Smokey and Honey were _strange_ men. They shared everything. Drugs, soldiers, wives, all of it. But in regards to dear Shiro… It’s a powerful message for an associate to see a capo expose himself to you just before you never see anything again. I think Tetsurō also just got bored sometimes, honestly. He was far more _paperwork_ than a lot of other capos.”

“Wow,” she breathed, absolutely fascinated.

“Oftentimes Honey would do the legwork for Smokey and Smokey would do the bookwork for Honey. Our crews ran very closely together, it was a wonder why we had separate names at all.”

“Nekoma, if I’m right.”

“Yes, Nekoma. Another strong crew. They could do just about anything and no one could ever know. If you _knew_ Nekoma did something you could rest assured they wanted you to know about it.”

Akaashi took another drink of his water before continuing.

“Working directly under Tetsurō is when things really changed for me.”

“How so?”

“His crimes were much more up my alley. And he was the type of man who made you _want_ to work for him. He gave you a piece of work and you thanked him.”

“No one has _ever_ found out about his crimes. It was as though he did nothing at all, but that simply couldn’t be true. Obviously… Other than that court thing.”

Akaashi smiled widely and pointed at her the best he could with his tremor, “Lemme tell ya. He was called The Phantom for a reason.”

* * *

Akaashi stood in Smokey’s home. He’d come to frequent his home quite a bit in the last six months since he earned his bones. Honey’d been gone to the desert for about four months by that point, overseeing that his money was being used appropriately to build the _‘latest, freshest casino on the strip’._ Honey brought Komi out with him, but otherwise controlled the crew via telephone if necessary. Fukurōdani oftentimes survived without their leader— they were capable men. They knew what to do. Honey’s operation never so much as slowed when he was in the desert.

Smokey seemed to enjoy having a new soldier to do small tasks for him, especially since he wasn’t an actual part of his crew and he didn’t need to hold up the Nekoma reputation of absolute ghostliness. Mostly, tasks included smoking cigars, drinking malt liquor and forging paperwork.

They’d spend long days in his home office listening to _David Bowie_ and pouring over papers. Occasionally, they’d be visited by other members of Nekoma, but mostly they remained faceless. 

Nekoma’s operation made Fukurōdani look like toddlers crawling around with guns. They were professionals if professionals ever were. Their tasks and jobs remained secret even amongst their own family. Only if Smokey had a _piece of work_ that needed expressed permission from another capo or from even higher up, he kept his lips firmly shut.

There was an unspoken respect about Smokey. He never lost his composure. He handled things quietly and discreetly save for if there was a clear message he needed to send. Akaashi took a particular shining to him. Especially since the lack of visible blood in his operation made it seem like no crime was committed at all.

So, there they sat. Filling out the necessary paperwork to take back what was theirs from those _‘damn Irish bastards’_ who _‘stole all of our goods right from under our noses’._ Smokey _hated_ the Irish. They seemed to be the very bane of his existence.

They wrote and drank and smoked until his wife came to inform them of dinner.

“Tetsurō, you need to eat.”

“It’s _fine,_ Maryann,” he sighed and waved his cigar at her. “We need to get this done.”

“What about the kid? You plan on starvin’ ‘im right along with ya?”

“It’s called _loyalty,_ Maryann.”

“Yeah, like the _loyalty_ you promised _to me, your wife,_ the day we got married!” She laughed. “I cooked dinner, now you’re gonna come eat it.”

Smokey sighed but smiled as he snubbed his cigar out. He stood and indicated for Akaashi to follow, which he happily did. They made their way to the dining room and sat around the pressboard table.

Another thing about Smokey was he lived incredibly humbly. He was smarter than living a luxurious life of flashiness. He knew someone would end up asking questions he didn’t want to answer.

Akaashi eyed Maryann’s pregnant stomach as they sat and joined hands for grace. He bowed his head and closed his eyes and prayed to the God he did not believe in, simply out of respect for Smokey and Maryann. Not out _respect—_ being fear, but genuine respect.

Something about Maryann was that she was first married to Honey. Akaashi didn’t know why they divorced, but it likely had to do with Honey’s _new_ wife, Anna.

Something about the comares— the goodfella’s women— was that they seemed to be traded around quite frequently. And none of them ever complained. And something about _Smokey’s_ comares was that they had a lot of real estate they didn’t know about. Tons of assets that they never heard about— let alone signed for. But they didn’t complain. They were _very_ well taken care of. Enough so that they would turn the other cheek when Smokey came home smelling of any _Chanel_ that wasn’t number five. A handbag seemed to make up for his expenditures— sexual or otherwise.

They were only part way through their dinner of roast beef and potatoes when the phone rang loudly on the wall. Maryann glared heavily at it before reluctantly standing to answer.

“Hallo? — Yeah, yeah, he’s _here._ — Yeah, we’re havin’ _dinner._ — Sure. _Tetsurō,_ it’s for you.”

Smokey put his utensils down and stood, taking the receiver from her limp and irritated hand before pressing it between his ear and shoulder as he lit a cigarette.

“Hallo. — Oh, yeah? — Uh huh. — _What?_ — Ugh. Yep. — Alrighty. — Yeah.”

Smokey hung up the phone and kissed Maryann on the side of the head before grabbing his jacket from the back of the free chair at the opposite head of the table. He snapped at Akaashi, who stood immediately and followed.

“Where ya goin’?” Maryann called.

“To give someone a serious headache. See ya later.”

Akaashi glanced up at him, knowing just how killer a serious headache was before staring forward again. They left the house and walked down the street to where a car was waiting for them. They got in and a short man with blond hair that Akaashi only knew by the name of Shortie sat in the driver’s seat.

They pulled away and drove in silence for a long while. Somewhere along the way Smokey reached into the glovebox and handed a gun back to Akaashi, which he took easily before stuffing it into his waistband. Somewhere after your seventh murder, it stopped seeming so scary. He couldn’t help but notice that Smokey didn’t hold a gun himself.

When they arrived at the restaurant that Akaashi’s become very used to by that point, he and Smokey got out but Shortie stayed in the car.

“Keep it runnin’, yeah? Shouldn’t take too long.”

“Sir.”

Akaashi held the door for him and they went right to a table in the back, where another capo sat in front of two glasses of _Cutty_. Akaashi’s seen the man before in passing, but mostly he’d heard stories about him.

Sugawara Koshi. One of the only capos to keep his name and face very public. He was known to be a very kind man, making it much scarier to cross him. He ran worker unions and made a _fuckton_ of money doing it. He ran in public office and was well acquainted with the mayor. His charity work building and maintaining nursing homes for the elderly bought him big points with the general public. Surely none of them knew that he ended twice the amount of lives he bettered. They called him the _Angel of Death._ In the underground, anyway. In the light of day, he was the man who breathed life into the community.

Sugawara stood and straightened the front of his suit before shaking Smokey’s hand, “I apologize dearly for this.”

Smokey nodded, “Someone will be sorry.”

Sugawara hummed flatly before turning his attention to Akaashi, “Who’s this?”

“Keiji Akaashi,” Smokey drawled. “Honey’s man.”

Sugawara fell into an easy smile and shook his hand, “You caused quite the trouble at first. The old man wanted _his_ head for lettin’ ya walk, ya know.”

Akaashi nodded, remarking his firm handshake, “So I’ve heard.”

Sugawara laughed as he retracted his hand, “You have a _good_ friend. Remember that.”

“Of course.”

They sat in the booth and Smokey immediately took his cup. Sugawara frowned and called out to the waiter.

“Doyle, get another for the boy.”

Doyle nodded and left before returning with another glass of whiskey and placed it on a napkin in front of Akaashi.

“Thank you.”

Sugawara then leaned across Smokey with an open cigarette case, “Smoke?”

Akaashi knew better to say no. If the Angel went out of his way to offer you anything, you didn’t say no. Not ever. If he offered you a smoke, you became a smoker. If he offered you a bullet to the head, you became dead. Simple as simple was.

“Thank you very much,” Akaashi removed one and let Smokey light it for him before he lit his own.

They all sat in silence until someone showed up. He was a man Akaashi had never seen before. He had dark brown hair and freckles. He walked in and immediately frowned upon seeing Smokey. His walk slowed and he slid into the opposite side of the booth.

“Hello, Sugawara. Tetsurō.”

No one said anything. Sugawara allowed Smokey to control the flow of the conversation.

Smokey sat back and stared him down as he sipped his whiskey, “Tell me somethin’.”

Freckles nodded, visibly holding his breath.

“Tell me about that place you torched down in Jersey.”

Freckles looked between them all and gulped, “I just took a job for some extra money.”

Smokey nodded and squished his cigarette out, “For who?”

Freckles looked to Sugawara, who just stared back.

“I asked you a goddamn question. _For. Who?”_

Akaashi swirled his whiskey around in his glass, certainly not envious of Freckles at all. He only snapped his eyes up when the name rolled off his tongue.

“Anahori.”

 _“What?”_ Smokey slammed his glass down, spilling whiskey on the table cloth. Akaashi averted his gaze.

Freckles glanced between them again, “He said the business was infringing on his. I didn’t— I’m sorry. I don’t understand.”

“That business was _mine._ Do you realize you just stole food out of the mouths of _hundreds of men?_ And their wives and their kids. And _my wife_ and _my kids._ Why would you not _check?”_

Freckles stared in horror before whispering, “He said it was Irishmen. I— I am so sorry. I meant nothing by it. I didn’t know it was yours. I wouldn’t— I-I I would’ve never done what I di—“

 _“Irishmen. Goddamn fuckin’ Irishmen,”_ Smokey laughed wryly. “First they put one in the fuckin’ White House, now they burn down my business!”

“I mean, they didn’t burn dow—“

 _“Shut your goddamn mouth_ , Baby!”

“Right.”

“Listen to me, freckles,” Smokey lit a new cigarette and angrily blew his smoke into his face. “Irish mob doesn’t _touch my shit. Not ever._ Capische? Understand me? _Do you hear me?”_

“Yes, sir.”

“Get the fuck outta my face,” Smokey leaned over and jabbed him in his chest.

They watched Freckles scramble out of his booth and all but run to the door.

“Goddamn _Irishmen,”_ Smokey yelled after him as he threw his still slightly filled glass at him.

Akaashi watched it shatter against the floor as the door slammed with wide eyes and a pounding heart. He slowly looked back up to Smokey as he stared at the door before he used shaking hands to straighten his tie. He took a slow drag of his cigarette before sitting again.

“Baby.”

“Yes?”

“I’ve gotta job for you.”

Akaashi nodded, “Okay.”

“You’ve better call Kōtarō first,” Sugawara muttered as he sipped his whiskey.

Smokey glared at him, “Fuckin’ Kōtarō. He should have a better grasp on his men instead of fraternizing with the _fuckin’ gaffs and empty suits down in the desert!”_

 _‘Kōtarō?’_ Akaashi thought. _‘Honey?’_

“I’m sure he didn’t know about this. And I can’t see him saying no to you. Call him.”

“He’ll probably want to do it himself,” Akaashi muttered.

Smokey rolled his eyes and pushed into Akaashi until he stood. He walked right over to the bar, reached over and took the phone before pulling a small black book from his pocket. He dragged the rotary around and waited. Akaashi watched Doyle clean the glass and whiskey as Smokey waited for Honey to pick up.

“Fuckin’ listen to this. — _No, listen to me. Your men— — No, Kōtarō._ Your men. Anahori. — Said it was _Irish mob._ Believe that? — Baby. — Yes. — _Shut up._ You talk too much. I’m doin’ it. — He agreed. — Yes, he’s grown up. — Fugget about it. — Okay.”

Smokey slowly walked the phone back to the table as he spoke. Akaashi slowly reached out and took the phone from his outstretched hand.

“Hallo?”

_“Baby. How’s it goin’? Haven’t heard from you recently.”_

“I apologize. I figured I wouldn’t need to keep in touch since I’m working for Tetsurō right now.”

_“You may not be working for me, but we’re still friends!”_

_‘We are?’_ Akaashi thought.

_“You haven’t even asked me how the casino looks!”_

“How does it lo—“

_“Fantastic. Here’s the deal.”_

“Okay?”

_“Anahori is on the carpet. Kuroo put his finger on ‘im, okay?”_

“I’m aware.”

_“He wants you to burn ‘im.”_

“Yes?”

_“You’re gonna find Blondie and both of ya are gonna find the torcher. Then ya find Anahori. Tell ‘im I’m in town. We just needta talk. Then ya rub ‘im out right there. Give ‘im shotgun. You gotta scare that fuckin’ idiot who didn’t check his shit first. Capische?”_

“Capische.”

_“Then when you’re done, let Blondie handle the trunk music. You get yourself fitted for a suit and call me back with the measurements. Then you’re gonna fly out here.”_

“You want me in the desert?”

_“Capo dei capi is comin’ out to see the fruits of my labor and I want you right there beside me. And you wanna look nice for your first impression.”_

“Understood.”

_“Fantastic.”_

Akaashi removed the phone from his ear and stared down at the dial tone before taking the entire receiver back behind the bar. He walked back to the table and threw a generous amount of money on the table for the drinks.

At restaurants and bars that are friends, there aren’t any bills. Any man worth his name tips more than the price would’ve been, though. Nothing tasted better than free. Even if free is never really free.

“Thank you for the _Cutty.”_

“Sure,” Sugawara smiled. “Stay safe in the desert, kid. Stay heavy.”

“Of course,” Akaashi nodded.

“Where ya goin’?” Smokey crossed his arms as Akaashi walked to the door.

“Goin’ to see the beauty doctor.”

Smokey smiled, “I see.”

Akaashi glanced at his amused expression, “Perhaps you think I’ve become brash.”

“Not brash enough. Give ‘im surgery, kid. Tell ‘im the fuckin’ _Irishmen_ sentcha.”

“Oh,” Sugawara said, glancing at the bulging metal in Akaashi’s waistband. “If you need to see my man, just show it to ‘im. Don’t use it, okay? Showin’ is enough.”

Akaashi snorted through his nose as he pushed the door open and walked to the nearest payphone. He inserted a quarter and dragged the rotary then waited for Konoha to answer.

_“Hallo.”_

“Blondie, we have a job.”

_“You fuckin’ serious? I’m flyin’ right now, man.”_

“That’s your own fault. You knew you were on call.”

_“Whatever. Where ya at, brat?”_

_“Non Ti Pago.”_

_“Wild. Be there soon.”_

“Be sure to bring the piano.”

_“Whatever.”_

He waited for a long time in the snow, simply leaning against the building before Blondie pulled to a harsh stop in front of him. Akaashi got into the car and Blondie burned rubber away from the curb.

“Karasuno.”

Konoha nodded and drove swiftly to the opposite end of town before pulling outside the bar the Karasuno family was known to frequent. Normally it was in poor taste to infringe on another family’s territory without an invitation, but he figured Sugawara’s permission was law. Akaashi instructed Blondie to wait before strolling casually into the bar. His eyes immediately locked onto a booth where several men laughed, smoked and drank.

 _‘Ah, tradition,’_ he thought.

He strolled right up to the table and the men fell silent as they stared at him. Akaashi kept his hands at his side to keep from appearing aggressive and addressed Freckles directly.

“Come with me.”

“He doesn’t need to go anywhere,” a blond man with glasses scoffed. “‘Specially not with you.”

“I recommend you come with me.”

“Who even _are you?”_ A taller man with dark hair and eyes asked. He had a very gloomy demeanour.

“Call me the angel’s messenger,” Akaashi moved his jacket out of the way of his gun. “I suggest you come with me. Final warning.”

The men all fell silent and Freckles gulped before standing. Akaashi knew exactly what he was thinking.

_‘You don’t get in a button man’s car at night and expect to come home.’_

“Enjoy your evening, gentlemen.”

Akaashi held Freckles by the back of the neck and opened the back door of the car before shoving him in and sitting beside him.

“Anahori,” Akaashi said.

Blondie looked at him through the rearview mirror, hurt and betrayal in his eyes. He exhaled harshly before taking off once again. Freckles shifted restlessly beside Akaashi.

“Am I gonna die?”

Akaashi glared at him before looking back out the window.

“I’m too young to die. I swear to _god in heaven_ I didn’t know. I know I should’ve checked. I know I—“

 _“Shut the fuck up,”_ Akaashi yelled. “You don’t wanna die, you don’t torch buildings you don’t know about.”

Freckles did indeed shut the fuck up. He stayed silent the entire way to Anahori’s place and for as long as it took for the man to come outside. It took hours for him to leave his house, but when he did, Akaashi was ready for him. He quickly got out of the car and ran across the street, snow falling into his hair as he went.

“Keiji? What’re you doin’ here?”

“The boss is back in town. Wants to talk with you.”

Anahori eyed him strangely, “I didn’t hear nothin’ like that.”

“Trust me. Let’s go,” Akaashi gestured to the car.

Anahori leaned forward and eyed the car, noticing the other people— noticing Freckles, “Uh, yeah. I’ll go see him tomorrow.”

“No, he said now.”

Anahori moved to go back inside, “I mean it. I’ll go to—“

Akaashi moved his jacket aside and placed his hand on the gun, “Get in the car, Anahori.”

“What? You gonna kill me?”

“Get in the car.”

“Shoot me if you’re gonna shoot me. You won’t. You’re just a lil’ bit—“

“Fuckin’ cocksucker,” Akaashi snapped. “Get in the fuckin’ car.”

“Don’t be callin’ _me_ a cocksuck—“

Akaashi pulled his gun out and pointed it at him. He slowly cocked it, the grinding metal the only sound on the sleeping street.

“If I have to repeat myself again I promise you’ll regret it. I didn’t _plan_ on shooting you but keep running your mouth—“

“You didn’t?”

Akaashi glared at him and shook his head. Anahori ran his hands over his tired eyes. His shoulders slumped and he groaned.

“I’m sorry, man. I just— I’ve been real paranoid lately. And with you workin’ for Tetsurō lately I just didn’t know if I could really trust ya, you know?”

“You can trust me,” Akaashi lied through his teeth— and he didn’t feel bad about it. “Car. Now.”

Anahori reluctantly went to the car and went to get in the backseat, but Akaashi pushed him forward by the back. He returned the gun to the space it was renting in his waistband and opened the back door.

“Sit up there, I’m babysitting this guy.”

Anahori nodded and did as he was told. They drove on in silence for all of a minute before Konoha glanced back at Akaashi in the rearview mirror.

“South Eden,” Akaashi said.

The car immediately became tense again, save for Freckles who had no clue what that meant. Anahori slapped his hands over his thighs before chuckling nervously.

“South Eden, huh?”

“He said he needed to visit the docks,” Akaashi said easily. “Said there was a problem down there. That’s why he came home. Needs our help. Stop asking questions.”

Anahori nodded, but after a moment of tense silence he spoke again. Nothing above a whisper.

“What kinda problem?”

Akaashi glared and leaned forward before whispering into his ear, “Really wanna know?”

Anahori glanced at him, “Yeah.”

“Some pazzo half-assed _wiseguy_ hired a job off the books.”

Anahori froze, “Oh, yeah?”

“You could say that he’s in some… _serious_ trouble,” Akaashi whispered as he reached under his seat, fingers looping into the cord hiding beneath.

Anahori’s panic warmed his skin to the point that his window and windshield began fogging up. It did little to aid his attempt at appearing outwardly calm. Blondie locked the car doors just as Anahori desperately reached for the handle, deciding jumping out at 105km/h was a better bet than sitting pretty. Akaashi stretched the cord out with both hands, wrapping it around his palms and took his sweet time doing so.

“I was actually hoping to take you to the docks,” he muttered. “But I suppose this’ll do. You’ll get there one way or another.”

Akaashi knelt on his seat and reached over to yank Anahori back into a sitting position before wrapping the cord snuggly around his throat. He pulled harshly back on it, moving back into a sitting position with his feet pushing firmly against Anahori’s seat. When Anahori attempted pulling the cord away, Akaashi crossed his arms over each other to minimize the amount of room he had to pull. He held his grasp on the cord for a long while, even past when Anahori stopped struggling, even past when Anahori stopped gasping, past when he stopped choking, too.

When he finally did stop pulling, he leaned forward to watch Anahori’s head slump over and some vomit drip from his lips. He patted him on his cheek then pulled his head back by the hair to talk to his dead eyes.

“Rest easy, you _dumb, dumb fuckin’ cocksucker._ But not yet. I’m far from done with you.”

Blondie glanced at him before laughing heartily, “Remember when ya couldn’t even pull a fuckin’ trigger?”

Akaashi sat back and put his arm over the back of the seat, causing Freckles to cringe away from him, “Yeah. I remember a time when I didn’t give a damn about the name Tetsurō Kuroo, too. But things change.”

Blondie laughed loudly again and reached into his pocket before throwing a pack of cigarettes at him.

“Smoke one of those. Calm the fuck down a bit.”

Akaashi removed a cigarette from the pack and put it in between his lips, “I need a lighter, stupid.”

“Didn’t think you’d actually do it,” Blondie muttered.

Akaashi rolled his eyes and threw the cord off his lap before leaning between Blondie and the corpse to press the car lighter into its port, “Why offer then?”

“Razz ya?”

Akaashi pressed the red coil into his cigarette and puffed his smoke out as he replaced it, “Yeah. Good one. Stick to killin’ people. And put some Bowie on.”

“Look at you, boss man,” Blondie rolled his eyes as Akaashi sat back down, but he did put the radio on. “I don’t _own_ any Bowie. Why can’t you listen to Sinatra like the rest of us?”

“It’s 1972, why don’t we live like it?”

“Sure. It’s the 70’s. Let’s listen to that _hippie bullshit.”_

 _“Listen,”_ Akaashi glared. “There’s one man here that died for disrespecting Tetsurō. Let’s not make it two.”

Blondie laughed again, “You couldn’t kill me if ya tried.”

“Let’s not find out.”

Freckles watched uncomfortably between the two and Akaashi knocked him in the back of the head, “Tell him how good Bowie is.”

Freckles stared at him in horror, “Uh. Yeah. Bowie. Sure.”

Blondie glanced in the rearview mirror, “He isn’t the only one with a gun, Freckles. Tell ‘im Sinatra will live forever.”

Freckles blinked at him and let out a sigh of relief when they parked at the docks. Akaashi got out of the car, flicked his cigarette away, and opened Anahori’s door, staring down at him in disgust as his body fell over onto him. He leaned down and heaved the heavy body into his arms and over his shoulder. Blondie got out and escorted Freckles with a wild incentive pressed into his back.

They walked their way through the work trucks and people, no one looking at them. Blondie lifted his free hand to a man.

“Frankie! How’s the wife?”

Workman Frank laughed and held his beer up to him, “Ah, ya know. How ya doin’?”

“Well, ya know,” Blondie laughed and gestured to Freckles.

“I hear ya,” Frank laughed before sipping his beer.

Akaashi screwed his face up at the way Anahori’s arms whacked into the back of his legs. It wasn’t that he was dead, it was that he had so wildly disrespected a capo. _Especially_ Tetsurō. A dirty traitor. Tetsurō took care of his men, and Honey’s men, too. He didn’t deserve that, but Anahori deserved everything that was coming to him.

They walked into the warehouse of Honey’s fishing operation and grimaced at the smell of rotting sea life. Blondie saw to it that Freckles was secured to a metal chair and Akaashi let the body fall to the ground. His breath puffed out warmly in front of him in the tin room. He walked to the far wall and took a large metal rod reserved for times like those— but not before he put on his leather gloves. His hands were cold.

He grabbed the rod in both hands and twisted it around, appreciating its weight. He made eye contact with Freckles before poking Anahori in the side with the rod.

“Allow me to remind you why we do our due diligence.”

Freckles stared with wide eyes as Akaashi lifted the rod above his head and smashed it into Anahori’s head. Blood splattered up onto Akaashi’s shoes and pants. Blondie leaned against the wall beside Freckles and lit a cigarette.

Freckles stared on, Akaashi’s shadow cutting across him as he continued beating Anahori’s lifeless face. Akaashi only saw red. His hands began shaking and his hits became less accurate for the longer he smashed into the man with the rod. He eventually abandoned the rod and opted to kick his bloody face in with his very own feet. After a long, long while of only Akaashi’s heavy grunts and the blunt impact of his shoe filling the room, Blondie spoke.

“Hey, I think you left a couple teeth in the back.”

“Not my problem,” Akaashi panted as he finally backed away from the officially unrecognizable corpse. “He only told me to choke him.”

“What?” Blondie raised his eyebrows. “Why all this, then?”

Akaashi finally looked over to him, chest still heaving from his efforts, “Because he fuckin’ deserved it.”

Blondie laughed loudly to Freckles, then pushed on his head, “C’mon. _That_ was funny. Our boy’s grown up.”

Freckles nervously laughed, clearly not meaning it.

Akaashi turned to him before stalking over and crouching in front of him. He lifted Freckles’ face by the chin, getting blood on his skin, so he’d meet his eyes. Akaashi kept one hand on his chin and used the other to point at what was once Anahori.

“I want you to remember this. _This_ is what happens when you’re a _fucking idiot. This_ is what happens when a bad dog bites the hand that feeds it, _”_ he pushed Freckles’ face far from him. “It’d be a real shame if those freckles were beaten straight off your fuckin’ face. Be a _good_ dog.”

Akaashi walked just outside the tin room to the hose and turned it on, rinsing some of the blood from his pants and shoes, “I’m eighteen now, ya know. Not a kid anymore.”

Blondie followed after him and paused as Akaashi kept walking, “Where ya goin’?”

The winter air quickly froze his clothes through, “I have a suit to be fitted for. He said for you to handle the trunk music.”

Blondie rolled his eyes and turned to go back into the warehouse, “I’m _always_ stuck with the shit jobs.”

“Put on some Sinatra,” Akaashi laughed back.

“Sinatra,” Blondie shook his head. “Long live Sinatra.”

* * *

She nodded slowly and clicked her pen in and out, “I have a few questions.”

“That’s why we’re here.”

She nodded again, “You said Tetsurō never lost composure. Your story sounded like quite the opposite.”

Akaashi shrugged, “That was far from losing composure in my books. I guess the Irish were a hot button topic for him. Always was. The way he celebrated when Nixon bowed out of office was something else entirely.”

She stared into his fond smile, “I see. You really respected him, didn’t you?”

“More than any other. I called him zio. He said he hated it, but you could tell he loved it.”

“Zio meaning uncle?”

“Zio meaning uncle. He’d always tell me _‘ya know, I’m only ten years older than you’._ And I’d always say _‘only ten, huh’?_ Not to mention he actually already had _two_ children from a previous marriage.”

“Really? Two?”

“Then the two he’d have with Maryann.”

“Why’d he leave his first wife?”

Akaashi shrugged, “Said it was the way the heart went.”

She shifted in her seat and gazed down at her messy notes as Akaashi drank from his water bottle.

“Tetsurō was fond of David Bowie?”

Akaashi laughed again, then coughed at its force, “Was he ever. Smokey loved Bowie almost as much as Honey loved Cohen. Which is saying something for real.”

“Leonard Cohen?”

“The very man.”

She nodded slowly as Akaashi took another drink, sensing he was about to speak again.

“If Honey was in a bar you _knew_ the band would be playing Cohen. If you ran in his crew, you knew every word to every song. Save for one. He lived his life like it was a Cohen song, too. He was absolutely charmed by the man.”

“What happened to Freckles?”

Akaashi shrugged, “That day?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m not too sure. He didn’t die if that’s what you mean.”

She nodded again and sat back, “Murder stopped bothering you rather soon, then. If you could kill a man and slide right into a conversation about music.”

“Sometimes the men you killed weren’t men at all. Any man who could disrespect the men that fed and clothed him was no man at all and deserved to go.”

“I see.”

“Besides, I wasn’t entirely right in that argument anyway.”

“How do you mean?”

Akaashi smiled and tapped the table with his shaking finger, “Sinatra. I was made a believer.”

She hesitantly smiled back, “What caused that change of heart?”

“Vegas.”

“Tell me about Vegas.”

“With pleasure. It’s funny in retrospect.”

* * *

Akaashi got out of his taxi at _Caesars Palace._ He lowered his sunglasses and craned his neck to get a proper glimpse of the incredible building before taking his suitcase from the driver. He pushed through the rotating doors and quickly approached the counter, immediately thankful for the air conditioning.

“I’m looking for a Mr. George Fernandez.”

“Of course, I’ll just make a call.”

He tapped the cold surface of the counter as she placed the call. After a moment she spoke.

“Hello, Mr. Fernandez? I apologize for bothering you, but I have a Mr. Uh…” She glanced at Akaashi as she listened. “Mr. Davis?” Akaashi nodded. “Yes, Mr. Davis. — Fantastic. Thank you. Have a great day.”

She smiled and turned, producing a room key from a drawer behind her before handing it to Akaashi. He took it and clasped it tightly in his fist.

“Room 2348. That’s on floor 13!”

“Thank you.”

“Have a great day!”

“Yeah, you too.”

Akaashi got into the elevator and waited patiently as several other people reached their floors first. When he finally got to the second floor from the top, he rolled his suitcase across the carpet and eyed the walls strangely as there was a _lot_ of distance between doors. He got to room 2348 and slowly unlocked it before pushing it open.

Honey sat on the large sectional sofa with a scantily clad woman on his lap, holding a mirror up which he snorted cocaine off of. Akaashi placed his suitcase just inside the room and closed the door quietly behind him. Then, he waited for Honey and the woman to finish their very long, very loud kiss. She stood and placed the mirror on the large square table and Honey slapped her ass as she went. And of course, the obligatory Cohen was on the record player.

He threw his head back and snorted loudly as he pinched his nostrils before looking at Akaashi with absent eyes and standing.

“Welcome, Baby.”

“Thank you.”

“Want some of this?” He gestured to the cocaine.

“No, thank you.”

“Uh huh,” Honey approached and wrapped a lazy arm around Akaashi’s shoulders and started leading him into the enormous suite. “Whaddya think?”

“Of?”

Honey gestured broadly to the two story suite. It was larger than Akaashi’s apartment back in New York. In fact, it was nearly comparable to Smokey’s house.

“Yes, it’s very nice.”

“Got that fuckin’ right. This is your room,” Honey led him into what would’ve been considered a normal hotel room on hard drugs.

Akaashi blinked around at the custom art on the walls, the en suite bathroom, the walk in closet and the several clothing bags on the king sized bed. Honey dropped his arm from around him and thrust the first bag into his arms.

“Custom. Put it on. Be back in five.”

Honey left the room, shutting the door most of the way behind him. Akaashi made quick work of stripping and changing into the new suit. He also made quick work of replacing his gun in his waistband as the Angel’s words played in his mind.

_‘Stay safe in the desert, kid. Stay heavy.’_

He was just beginning to examine himself in the full length mirror when Honey returned to the door.

“Ya decent?”

“Yeah.”

Honey pushed the door open and paused as his eyes landed on Akaashi. He hummed flatly and walked behind him. Akaashi stared at him through the mirror as he examined him as well. Honey wrapped his arms around Akaashi from behind and ran his hands down the hems of the grey jacket, exposing the golden lining within.

“It’s _Canali._ Cashmere,” he ran his hands down Akaashi’s sides before flipping the jacket open on his clean side, the golden material glinting in the light from overhead. “And silk. Italian made. Do you like it?”

“Yes, thank you. I’ll be sure to pay you back.”

Honey continued staring at them in the mirror, “It’s a gift. The shirt is cotton. No blend. Pure. Do you like that?”

“Yes.”

Akaashi had to avert his eyes from the mirror as Honey’s hands remained on his body.

“I got you shoes, too. Figured yours were dirty. Were yours dirty?”

“Yes, they were. I will pay you for all of this. It must’ve been expensive.”

“No. I missed your birthday. My boy is eighteen, now. You’re not paying for a thing while you’re out here. Capische?”

“Capische.”

Honey’s hands continued running over his sides until his pinkie grazed Akaashi’s gun. He frowned and pulled the jacket out of its way.

“What’s this?”

“My gun.”

“Kuroo really did make a man outta ya, huh?” Honey laughed as he stole the gun away.

“I suppose you could say so.”

Akaashi’s eyes followed his gun as it was thrown onto the bed. Honey dragged his face by the chin until he looked back into the mirror. His golden eyes searched his face in the reflection before simply examining them together.

“You don’t need that gun.”

“No?” Akaashi looked back down.

“No. No one’s layin’ a finger on you. No one will _ever_ hurt you. Not while I’m around. They so much as touch one hair on your head, you tell me.”

“Right.”

Honey readjusted Akaashi’s eyes to the mirror and hummed flatly once again as their eyes met in the reflection. His other hand finally left his side as he noted a decent amount of space between his suit and shoulder.

“Your tailor is a hack. Who’s your guy?”

“I just went to the first one I saw. I don’t have a regular guy.”

Honey nodded as his hands left Akaashi completely, “Go to Joey down on fifth. That’s where the rest of us go. He’s a real stand up guy.”

“Sure. Joey on fifth.”

“Attaboy.”

Honey paused with his hand on the doorknob, but Akaashi didn’t look at him. It took a full minute for him to speak again.

“Good timing, Baby.”

“Why’s that?”

“Sinatra is playin’ the lounge.”

“That so?”

“He’s no Cohen, but he’ll do.”

By the time Akaashi looked up, Honey was gone. He let out a shaky breath and ran his own hands down the hems of the suit jacket, feeling the ghost of Honey’s touch, before buttoning it up. His eyes ran over his reflection, not entirely recognizing the man who looked back.

That evening found Akaashi in the lobby of the hotel next to Honey. He watched the man laugh and smoke and interact with strangers and men he seemed to know alike. The light glinted off the rings he wore on nearly every finger, but none more than the new gold of his wedding ring. He was brought back to reality when Honey slapped him across the back and gestured between him and a man.

“Rossi, this is my boy I’ve been tellin’ ya about.”

Akaashi easily shook the man’s hand, who smiled at him around his cigar.

“Goodta meetcha, kid. This guy speaks highly of ya.”

“Thank you, sir. Pleasure is all mine.”

Honey gripped Akaashi tightly by the shoulder and shook him slightly as he laughed, “He’s a good kid! Listens good, too.”

Rossi nodded enthusiastically, “Been wonderin’ when we’d meet ‘im. ‘Bout time, if ya ask me.”

“Yeah, well, we’re celebrating!” Honey laughed loudly as he began walking Akaashi away. “Missed his birthday!”

“Happy belated, kid!” Rossi waved vaguely as he started off in the opposite direction.

Honey led Akaashi right to the bar in the casino and knocked on the surface, “Gimme two _Rémy’s.”_

The barkeep nodded and swiftly fulfilled the order, placing two glasses before them on top of napkins. Akaashi waited for Honey to pick his glass up before doing the same and clacked their glasses together. Akaashi grimaced at the taste of the cognac and the way it burned going down. Honey kept him right there repeating the same thing until his vision went hazy. He gazed wearily up at Honey who seemed hardly affected.

“Hey, I— Man.”

Honey smiled warmly down at him, “This is why we call ya Baby.”

“Shuddup.”

Honey laughed loudly and nodded before leading him further into the casino, where Akaashi immediately recognized the woman from upstairs. Honey easily abandoned his shoulder in favor of her thin waist.

“I gotchu something, Baby,” Honey said, grabbing a second woman by the hand.

Honey placed her thin hand into Akaashi’s large one, and the young man just gazed at the difference between the two. Her hand was so thin and pale, whereas Akaashi’s was large, dark and calloused. The way it was meant to be.

“Her name’s Veronica. Go enjoy Veronica. Oh,” Honey reached into his pocket and produced a very fat stack of cash, wound tightly in a blue elastic. “Go win. Or piss it away. I don’t care.”

Akaashi stared down at the money before pocketing it, “Sure. Thanks.”

Honey was busy with a container that looked akin to an _Altoids_ tin. He reached out and put his finger to his woman’s lips and she took his hand before gingerly sucking on the outstretched finger. He took his then wet finger and pressed it into the container, pulling away with a decent amount of cocaine covering it before rubbing it into his gums. He smiled widely as he closed the container and pushed it back into his breast pocket. Then Honey leaned over, took Akaashi’s head in both hands and placed a wet kiss to his cheek.

“Happy birthday, my friend! Go enjoy yourself! Back to work tomorrow!”

Akaashi nodded and turned with Veronica in tow. He cashed out a thousand dollars worth of chips before eyeing Veronica up. She was gorgeous. But so was every other woman in the room. She smiled at him with her very red lips.

“Tell me something, Veronica?”

“Sure,” she draped herself over his shoulder.

“How much do I need to pay you to go away?”

She frowned, “Five hundred.”

He easily handed her five of Honey’s bills, which she promptly took before leaving. He sighed and went to get himself another drink— a drink he could stomach: Vodka and lime. He walked himself and his drink over to a craps table. He waited patiently for the current game to be finished before placing two fifty dollar tokens on the pass line.

The dealer pushed five dice towards him and he selected two before the dealer pulled the remaining three back. He gripped the dice tightly before rolling them in his hand and sending them down the table and they hit the far end before rolling back over.

 _“Hard six,”_ the dealer shouted over the noise before flipping the button over the six and pushing the dice back to Akaashi.

He let out a deep breath before repeating the process.

“Easy four!” The dealer shouted.

Akaashi rolled again.

“Hard eight!”

Akaashi’s nose was assaulted with floral perfume. He glanced down at a small blonde woman who leaned over the table beside him. She beamed and clapped loudly.

“C’mon, six!”

Akaashi smiled softly and scooped the dice up before holding the small gap between his thumb and palm up to her mouth. She glanced up at him with wide eyes before falling into an easy smile and blowing onto the dice pressed tightly into his palm. He rolled the dice in his hand and sent them back out.

“Easy six!” The dealer shouted.

Akaashi laughed loudly as he took a drink of his vodka and lime. The woman bounced excitedly as she laughed giddily and clapped loudly. The dealer pushed two more fifty dollar chips to him along with his original two.

He played and won for five more games before calling it quits. He glanced down at the woman who remained throughout them all, to share in his victory and of course, blow her good luck onto the dice for him.

“Want a drink?”

She nodded enthusiastically with her cherry lips pressed into a wide smile. He held his arm out to her and she easily slid hers through his and he led them back to the bar. He leaned over the counter and got the bartender’s attention.

 _“Cutty_ and a—“

He glanced down at her and she leaned in with a smile, “A manhattan!”

“A manhattan,” he nodded.

The barkeep eyed him up before making both drinks and sliding them over, “Cutty, huh? You a friend of ours?”

Akaashi handed him a hundred dollar bill, “New York.”

The man smiled and stuffed the money into the pocket on his apron, “I hear it in your Yankee voice. See ya soon, kiddo.”

Akaashi laughed and led the woman away by her waist, “What would you like to do?”

She smiled up at him, “Sinatra is playing the lounge tonight. It’d be a shame to miss that.”

He stared into her green eyes for a long moment and spoke softly, “So it would. Let’s go, then.”

He cashed out his wins from craps, officially richer than when he’d started, then led the woman by the waist to the lounge. He didn’t exactly know where it was, but if the sound of squealing saxophones was anything to go by, it was just across the lobby. He watched her closely as they walked through the lights. Her soft blonde hair shone brilliantly under the harshness of the lights, but her face was every bit as beautiful. She sipped her manhattan through a straw, staining the tip of it with her lipstick.

“What’s your name?”

She glanced up at him as they walked into the dim light of the lounge, “What’s it to ya?”

“I never wanna forget it.”

She laughed loudly, “You can call me Ava.”

“Ava, huh?” He laughed as he looked forward again. “I like it.”

“What about you?”

“Mr. Davis.”

She giggled as she sipped and Akaashi pulled a chair out for her at an empty table near the dance floor. Their attention both went to the stage as he sat and sipped at his own drink. Frank Sinatra stood on the stage with his band, playing _Fly Me To The Moon._

Akaashi smiled at the woman as she swayed to the music and chewed on her straw. He leaned over to sweep a piece of her hair back behind her ear. She turned just as the music swelled and he could’ve sworn he could cry as those green eyes met his once again.

“You’re beautiful,” he breathed before he could catch himself.

She laughed, a bright, loud and cheerful sound that was much better than anything coming from the stage.

“Dance with me,” she said.

He nodded and put his drink down before taking her by the hand. He led her out onto the dance floor and put one hand on her waist over her red dress and kept the other beneath her tiny one. She smiled up at him as the lights bounced off her flushed cheeks and blonde hair— but especially her jade eyes. Akaashi pulled her in closer to his chest as he led her around, then his knees nearly buckled as she rested her head on his breastbone.

He’d been in many precarious situations in his life. He’d committed honest to god murders. He’d been held at gunpoint himself. Still, none of that compared to the way his heart pounded when her grip slipped from his shoulder to his chest as they slowly swayed their way through Sinatra’s serenade.

He slid his eyes shut as he just felt her warmth against him until the song came to a close. The band then shifted into a new, faster song. He opened his eyes again and immediately met honey ones just across the room.

Honey held his current mistress close as they similarly danced, then winked at Akaashi. Akaashi turned his attention back to his own partner and saw she was already looking up at him. He melted into her touch when she placed her small hand on his cheek.

“Ya know what this song is called?”

“What’s that?” He mirrored her smile.

_“I Get A Kick Out Of You.”_

He couldn’t help but laugh as Honey danced his way over, singing right along with Sinatra. He looked Akaashi up and down as he danced.

 _“I get a kick every time I see you,”_ Honey pointed at him from his toes to his face. _“Standing there before me. I get a kick though it's clear to me, you obviously don't adore me.”_

He spun around before taking Ava’s hand, eliciting a sweet laugh from her, _“I get no kick in a plane.”_ He spun her around. _“Flying too high with some gal in the sky is my idea of nothing to do.”_ He pointed back to Akaashi before dramatically jumping up and kicking a foot out to the sting in the music. _“Yeah, I get a kick out of you!”_

Akaashi laughed brightly as he spun Ava back into his grasp and she giggled against his chest. Honey then danced back to his own woman with his hat in his hand and they both partook in an energetic and surprisingly well choreographed dance. Akaashi laughed into Ava’s hair as Honey met his eye once again with the widest smile he’d ever seen on a man’s face.

Several sweaty Sinatra tunes, many drinks and endless cigarettes later, Honey reapproached. He leaned into Akaashi’s ear and whispered hotly into it.

“C’mon, I wanna show you somethin’. Bring the compare.”

Akaashi glanced to Ava who seemed to know to give them their space before nodding. He took her by the small of her back much like the way Honey did to his own woman and followed his boss out through the lobby and into the chilled night. He shrugged his jacket off and placed it over Ava’s shoulders and she immediately sunk into it, wrapping it tightly around herself.

They followed Honey to a pale yellow _Ford_ and Akaashi held the door open for Ava while Honey held the passenger one open for his woman. They each got into their own seats, Honey’s of course being behind the wheel. He put the roof down after turning the engine over and before turning the radio on. He pulled out of the parking space and took off down the strip.

Ava leaned over and rested her head on Akaashi’s shoulder as the neon and warm lights passed them by at the speed of light. Cohen played over cassette. Akaashi wrapped his arm around Ava and held her close in an attempt to protect her from Honey’s erratic driving.

The man squealed to a stop outside of a nearly finished behemoth of a building before pointing up to it.

“There she is.”

Akaashi gaped up at it, “That so?”

Honey threw his elbow over the seat and turned to beam at him, “Ya like it?”

“I love it.”

“Thought you’d say so,” Honey laughed as he once again peeled away.

None of them said anything for a long while as they sped through the desert, no particular destination in mind. Akaashi just listening to Leonard Cohen’s musings as the wind rushed harshly over his head. He stared out into the barren plains of the desert, admiring the surprising amount of color. He’d never left the state of New York before. What a shame.

He looked down when he felt Ava pull on his tie. She stared up at him with wind whipped eyes and a small smile before leaning into his ear and whispering the best she could in the noise.

“Say, Mr. Davis?”

“Yes, beautiful?”

“Whaddya do for a livin’, anyways?”

Akaashi caught Honey’s eye in the rearview mirror before smiling, “I paint houses.”

“You seem to have an awful amount of money for someone who paints houses.”

He glanced at her before shaking his head, “I’m disappointed.”

“Sorry?”

“You should never ask a man where his money comes from.”

She frowned before smiling, “And you should never ask a woman you just met for her name.”

“Never?”

“Never,” she nodded. “Even?”

“Sure.”

She pushed herself further into his side and he gladly accepted her in. They stayed like that until they were nearly back at the hotel. Then, when they arrived the men opened the women’s doors for them. They walked them by their waists to the elevator and took them back to the room.

Honey immediately took his woman into his bedroom and Ava stared at him expectantly. He frowned slightly before leaning down and pressing a small kiss to her lips. She smiled and easily wrapped her arms around his neck before stealing a much firmer kiss from him.

Akaashi frowned further as he took her cheek in his hand and stole another. She sighed against his lips and pressed in closer, never losing her smile.

“I—“ Akaashi pulled away but moved his hands to her hips. “I’m sorry.”

She finally frowned, “What’s wrong, Mr. Davis?”

“I genuinely mean no offense by this, but I’m not looking for a mistress.”

She frowned harder and immediately took his left hand from her waist and held it up, “I don’t see no ring.”

“I’m not married,” he shook his head. “But the fact still remains.”

She smiled before batting her eyelashes at him, “You really are a good boy, arentcha? It actually isn’t an act?”

He slowly shook his head, “I’m not sure I understand.”

She patted his chest affectionately, “I’m glad. I didn’t want to rush through a night with you.”

“Oh?”

She slowly shook her head, that pesky lock of hair falling in front of her eyes again, “I’m not really one for hurried nights and shy goodbyes.”

“You’re not, now are ya?”

“Would you like to smoke a cigarette with me, Mr. Davis?”

“I’d like nothing more.”

He held the balcony door for her and watched as she leaned over the railing to gaze down at all the lights and people on the strip. He smiled and walked over, wrapping his arms around her from behind. He closed his eyes and pressed his face into her neck as he simply squeezed her tightly for a moment before pulling away.

He felt lucky to have purchased a pack of cigarettes earlier in the day so he wouldn’t have to suffer the humiliation of smoking one of her lady’s smokes. He lit his as she retrieved hers from her bag, then lit hers as well. They stayed in silence as they smoked, leaning over the balcony and just watching the people below. The sound of shouting people, distant music and blaring horns wrapped warmly around them and the wind blew at them gently, billowing his jacket around her frame.

He looked up at her. Her blonde hair moved gently in the wind and her green eyes stared pensively down to the lights that lit her soft features in warm light.

“Say, Mr. Davis?”

“Yes?”

“Think I can ever learn your real name?”

He laughed delightfully as he looked back to the street, “Depends. Can I ask you the same?”

“You can ask me whatever you like.”

“Anything I like, huh?”

“Anything at all.”

“Alrighty. What’s a woman like you standing on this balcony with a workin’ man like me?”

She glanced sideways at him, “Dare I say fallin’?”

“Fallin’, huh?” He took a long drag of his cigarette. “Premature, no?”

“Sometimes ya just know.”

He nodded and took another drag to cool his nerves, “If ya know then ya know, I suppose.”

She nodded slowly, “And what say you?”

He looked up and met her eye, “I’d have to s—“

Their heads snapped to the doors of the balcony as Honey barged through them.

“Baby.”

“Yes?”

“We gotta go.”

“What? Why?”

“They’re here.”

“They’re _here?”_

Honey nodded and glanced at Ava before grabbing Akaashi by the arm, “Excuse us. Make yourself at home.”

She nodded meekly as Akaashi was dragged away from her. Once they were inside, Honey took his cigarette from his hand and pointed to his door.

“Go hide whatcha needta hide. Meet me back here in exactly sixty seconds.”

Akaashi immediately ran to his room and stuffed the clothes he travelled in into his suitcase. He then hung the suits from Honey in the closet before taking his blood stained shoes and putting them far under the bed. He was about to leave the room again before remembering his gun. He took it and went into the bathroom. He located a vent and opened it up before stuffing the gun inside.

When he returned to the living area, he discovered the cocaine was gone and Honey’s suit was returned to a decent state of being. He glanced out to the balcony, where Ava still stood only that time it was with Honey’s woman. Honey looked him over once before running his hands through his hair to fix it up. There was a loud knock at the door and Honey let out a huffy breath before answering it.

Two men entered. The first wore a black suit, had short grey hair with shaved sides and thick eyebrows. The second was slightly taller than the first, wore a deep purple suit and had longer, dark brown hair and a slight frown on his face. Both carried briefcases and small suitcases. Akaashi rushed to join Honey in taking their bags from them.

Both men took a turn kissing each of Honey’s cheeks before moving further into the suite, glancing around at their surroundings.

“Keiji, this is Osamu and Rintarō.”

Akaashi shook both of their hands firmly, “A pleasure.”

They both stared at him for a long moment before Honey chuckled nervously and handed Akaashi the other suitcase.

“Why don’t you bring these upstairs?”

Akaashi nodded and turned on his heel to do as he was told. He heard the men behind him light cigarettes before one spoke.

“Upstairs?”

“Further than the rooms down here.”

“More privacy,” Honey said. “I know you like your privacy.”

There was tense silence for a moment before the men laughed.

“True.”

Akaashi placed one suitcase in each room on either side of the bar that sat in the centre of the top floor of the suite before pressing his hands into his eyes, urging himself to sober up even a little before returning down the stairs.

He sat next to Honey on the couch just as the women returned in from outside. The new men gazed at them as they stood awkwardly on the other side of the couch.

“What have we here?” Osamu asked. “Gifts?”

“I apologize,” Honey said as he lit a cigarette. “I was under the impression you’d be arrivin’ in the mornin’.”

Osamu laughed and nodded as the women went to their respective men. Honey reached into his pocket and produced a small stack of cash and folded it gingerly into his woman’s hand.

“Take your friend for a drink. Come back. Or not. I don’t really care.”

She nodded as she stuffed the money into the top of her dress. Ava pressed her lips to Akaashi’s temple as she snuck her hands around his neck. He placed his hand over her forearm.

She whispered into his ear, “We can finish that conversation later, Mr. Davis?”

“Anything you want,” he breathed.

He watched her leave. He even turned in his seat to see her go, wishing the entire time that she wouldn’t. The second the door shut, Honey laughed loudly and hit him across the chest.

“Look at ‘im. It’s like ya never saw one of ‘em before.”

The other men joined in on laughing as Akaashi stared confusedly between them.

“What happened to Veronica, anyway?”

Akaashi frowned at him, “I had a feelin’ you paid her.”

Honey blinked slowly at him before glancing at the men and they all broke out into laughter again. Honey dragged him in roughly by the neck and shook him as he laughed.

_“This boy! I tell ya!”_

Akaashi’s cheeks grew redder the longer the men laughed at him for. The new men seemed entirely relaxed by the time the laughter died off and they each lit their own cigarettes. Osamu opened his briefcase and removed a fat stack of papers.

“So, Kōtarō. How’s the construction?”

“Nearly there. Nearly there.”

“When are you hopin’ it’ll be done?”

“August.”

Rintarō spoke next, toying with his smoke, “Ya plan on stayin’ out here for all that time? Word was you lost control of one of your men.”

Honey sighed as he exhaled smoke, “Apparently so. I’ll be coming home right along with the rest of ya. Rest assured he was taken care of. Correct?”

Akaashi caught his eye, wishing his arm would leave his shoulders, “Yes. He was taken care of.”

Rintarō sat back as he considered the men before him, “Very good.”

“Forgive me for askin’, but is the old man still comin’ out? It isn’t that I ain’t glad to see ya, I was just expectin’ him.”

Osamu shook his head, “Apparently Jew mob is in town. He wasn’t takin’ the risk.”

“I see.”

Akaashi glanced at Honey as he examined his own cigarette. Those golden eyes shifted over to his own and winked once again.

“This boy,” he laughed before ruffling Akaashi’s hair and standing. “Music, anyone?”

“Sure,” Osamu said as he sat back. “Get me a drink, too.”

“Me as well,” Rintarō said.

“Sure. Cohen good?”

* * *

She leaned on her hand as she listened. Akaashi stared up at the ceiling. Neither said anything for a long moment.

“You doing alright?”

“Yeah,” he breathed. “Sometimes it’s a lot to think about.”

“There was a lot to that one.”

“That was the day I was born, but also the day I died.”

She nodded and waited for a long moment for Akaashi to speak. She frowned and blinked as he wiped a tear from his cheek before sniffing and taking a long drink of his water.

“Do you need a break?”

He shook his head, “If I stop, I don’t know that I’ll start again.”

“What’s got you crying?”

“I’m not sure. I apologize. You should never cry in front of a lady.”

“I won’t hold it against you.”

“I appreciate that.”

They stayed in silence for a while longer. Akaashi finally looked up from the table.

“Ava. Her real name was Laura Bianchi. I did end up learnin’ it.”

“You did?”

“Yeah,” he laughed, throat thick with tears. “She wasn’t Laura Bianchi for long before she became Laura Akaashi. I fell so in love with her so quickly. Something like that never really goes away. Not entirely.”

She smiled warmly at him, “That’s sweet.”

“Maybe. But we were young. I moved her out to New York with me. The thing about New York is it’s cold. And as it turned out, flames don’t burn as good in the cold.”

“Oh,” she frowned.

He struggled to get his hands up to his neck before pulling a chain out with a gold ring hanging from it. She examined it from a distance and he did his best to look down at it.

“All good things come to an end, huh? But before they end, they need to begin. And it began swiftly and harshly and more intensely than anything I’d felt until that point. Everyone came out for the wedding. Honey was the best man. He said he deserved that for bringing us together.”

“Yeah?”

“He even danced with her. To Sinatra. _Strangers In The Night._ Funny, dontcha think? It was the happiest day of my life. Then, Honey topped himself by giving us a wedding gift in the form of a full paid off home.”

“Wow!”

“Honey taught me another lesson, only far too late.”

“What’s that?”

“Any marriage that starts with Sinatra is doomed to fail.”

She frowned, “Oh?”

“Laura was something like royalty. Men wanted her. Women wanted to be her. She was the most… _beautiful_ person in the world as far as I was concerned.”

“What happened? How does something like that die off?”

“Let me tell you.”

* * *

Akaashi sat on the front pew of a church. He was attending the Christening of Smokey’s fourth daughter. Honey held the girl over the font as the priest spoke and poured water over her fine hairs. Honey smiled warmly down at his fourth godchild while Smokey himself did the same. Their wives also stood close by, all staring at the new life with love in their eyes.

Akaashi let out a happy exhale as he watched and reached out to take Laura’s hand in his own, feeling the coolness of her wedding ring against his palm. She smiled over at him before looking back to the crying child.

He’d been with her for fifteen months, and married to her for an entire year. Their anniversary passed just on the previous weekend. He enjoyed every moment of it, even if he’d come to discover she was a bit unstable. The smallest things set her off. He didn’t spend enough time at home, or he was home too often. His work was more important than her. He wouldn’t give her a child, despite him only being nineteen years old. He still loved her every bit as much as the night he met her. He’d walk through Hell for her. He’d take on a fleet of men for her. He’d chop men up with safety scissors for her.

They all bowed their heads as they were led in prayer, then crossed their bodies as they muttered their amens.

Once the ceremony was over, Akaashi kissed his wife before she departed to socialize with the other women. Akaashi looked up, beaming as Smokey approached.

“Congratulations, Tetsurō. She’s every bit as beautiful as her mother and sisters!”

“Thank you, my friend,” Smokey smiled and leaned in, pressing a kiss to each of his cheeks. “Come smoke with me.”

“Sure.”

They walked outside of the church and lit cigarettes. Akaashi frowned as Smokey kept going, but quickly fell into stride beside him. He leaned forward to glance at him.

“What’s botherin’ you?”

Smokey glanced at him before ashing his cigarette, “You know I love you.”

Akaashi frowned and lowered his cigarette from his face, “Yeah. I love you, too.”

Smokey nodded stiffly, “I’m just a lil’ concerned.”

Akaashi’s body froze over, “Oh?”

Smokey sighed and stopped to face Akaashi, but he wouldn’t meet his eye, “You have a gun on you?”

“We’re at a Christening.”

“Give me your gun.”

Akaashi frowned deeply, but complied. He pulled his gun from his pants and slid it discreetly to Smokey, who immediately put it into his pocket. Akaashi eyed him up, feeling like he was going to throw up. It was unlike the man to be so dodgy. He took a shaky drag from his cigarette as Smokey looked anywhere but at him.

“You have anythin’ else on ya?”

Akaashi slowly shook his head, “I’m clean. Say what you need to say.”

“Okay, yeah,” Smokey breathed, playing nervously with his cigarette. “Yeah. Ya know I love you. I just— Ya know. Just a bit concerned. Because, uh, ya know—“

“Tetsurō…” Akaashi breathed, panic pricking his skin. “Please tell me.”

“It’s just… Ya know, Laura… She… Okay. I love you, so I’m just gonna say it, okay?”

Akaashi nodded slowly.

“She’s, uh… She’s been seein’ someone else, Baby.”

Akaashi dropped his cigarette from between shaking fingers, “She… What? No. She said that? How— Who said that?”

Smokey continued avoiding his eye, “She told Maryann. Ya know, they trust each other and that. Get on like gangbusters. And I— Uh.”

 _“Who?”_ Akaashi breathed. Smokey turned away and rubbed his neck as he took a long, deep inhale of his cigarette. Akaashi lunged at him, pulling on his suit jacket, “Tetsurō. Tell me. Who is he? I’m gonna fuckin’ kill ‘im, I swear to fu—“

“Sh. Lower your goddamn voice,” Smokey snapped before sighing and shaking Akaashi off of him. “I can’t tell ya.”

“Why can’t you tell me?”

Smokey said nothing.

“Is he… Is he above me?”

Smokey looked further away, “I can’t tell ya that.”

“Please,” Akaashi pleaded in a whisper. “Please tell me.”

Smokey shook his head, “Some people… Not me, but some people, would say you’d be totally justified in killin’ ‘im. Not me, okay?”

“Not you, sure. Who is he?”

“I can’t tell ya. You can ask someone else, though.”

Akaashi followed his gaze to Maryann, who smoked by the door of the church, watching them. He followed her gaze as it shifted to Honey, who smoked with other men by the sidewalk.

 _“No,”_ Akaashi breathed.

Smokey reluctantly looked at his face, then accidentally met his eye. Akaashi found all the information he needed there.

“No,” he repeated. “No. No. No. No, no, no, no, no—“ He sucked a deep breath in and slapped himself in the cheeks. “Give me my fuckin’ gun. Give me my _fuc—“_

Smokey shoved his outstretched hand far away from him as Honey and the other men shifted their gazes to him with furrowed brows. Smokey stomped his foot onto Akaashi’s toes.

“You need to _fuckin’ relax._ You are _not_ shootin’ him.”

Akaashi felt the harsh sting of tears in his eyes and spoke in a thick voice, “Please. God, why? How could she— How could— _They._ God, god why?”

Smokey stared at him in disgust before glancing to see if Honey was looking. When he saw no such thing, he slapped Akaashi clean across the face.

“Get it together. Be a man.”

Akaashi held his face in his hands, “Why him?”

“It’s just the way he is. He’s slept with everyone’s wife. Think he’s an addict or somethin’.”

“He’s a goddamn fuckin’ cocksucker is what he is. I’m gonna fucki—“

“You watch your mouth. You owe that man your life. You owe him everything you have.”

Akaashi stared up at Smokey with imploring eyes, but his cold stare never shifted.

“You _never_ breathe another word like that again if ya know what’s good for ya. I’m tellin’ ya because I love you. And I’m tryna help you here. I am tryna _help you_ when I say _calm the fuck down._ You divorce the girl, send her back to the desert, forget about her and _move the fuck on._ Okay?”

Akaashi stared at him and said nothing. After a long moment of silence, he turned to walk away. Smokey caught him by the arm and pulled him harshly back.

“I’m tryna help you, Baby. Help me help you.”

“Help me,” Akaashi scoffed. “Fuckin’ helpin’ me. _Helpin’ me._ Fuckin’ goddamn fu—“

“Calm down,” Smokey sighed. “You stand there and smoke a fuckin’ cigarette. Calm down. You’re not gettin’ within fifty feet of ‘im until I can trust you to do so.”

Akaashi huffed and did as he was told. He always did as he was told. 

_‘Be a good dog and don’t get shot,’_ he thought bitterly.

“I was good to her,” Akaashi sighed out his smoke. “Why’d she gotta go and do that to me? I was so good to her.”

“Sometimes the best isn’t enough,” Smokey shrugged. “Can’t let one bitch getcha down.”

“She made a fuckin’ fool outta me. I’m no goddamn fuckin’ clown, Tetsurō. Do I _look_ like a fuckin’ clown? Tell me if I’m wrong, because I really don’t think I’m a _fuckin’ clown.”_

“You’re no clown, kid. Relax. She’s a whore.”

“Fuckin’ whore,” Akaashi breathed.

“You tellin’ me you never slept around in the last year?”

Akaashi glared harshly at him and Smokey raised his eyebrows.

“Huh. Imagine that.”

“Ya know why?” Akaashi jabbed his cigarette fingers out. “‘Cause some of us are fuckin’ _loyal._ We took fuckin’ vows, Tetsurō. And _apparently_ that just means shit fuckin’ all to some women. She wanted me to give her a kid! Ha! Lucky me, I guess. Fuckin’ _bullshit. All of it.”_

 _“Relax,”_ Smokey sighed as he crushed his butt out under his shoe.

“How am I supposed to fuckin’ relax when they’re both twenty fuckin’ feet away from me?”

“Go home, then.”

“Ya, then she just shows up. I can’t be near her.”

“Go to your momma’s.”

Akaashi nodded slowly, “Yeah, yeah. Go to my mom’s. Sure, yeah. That’s a good idea. That’s right. Go see my mom.”

Smokey shoved him away by the head, “Ya come see me before ya take another job. Consider yourself on a sick leave.”

Akaashi stared blankly at him. Smokey sighed and poked him in the chest.

“I need ya to say you understand.”

Akaashi blinked angrily before Honey caught his eye over Smokey’s shoulder and shot him his easy smile. Akaashi blinked again and only saw red.

Smokey walked forward, obscuring his view and placed a firm hand on his chest, “Go see your momma. Come see me before you come back. Capische?”

Akaashi glared at him for a moment before groaning loudly and turning, “Fuckin’ capische.”

Six full days passed and Akaashi hadn’t left his childhood bed. His mother gave up on speaking to him after the fourth day about what happened. He wouldn’t take any phone calls, not that many had that number. He rotted in his own self loathing and hatred. He also hated Laura. He also hated Honey. He thought about murder, both seriously and in passing, but mostly he just felt hopeless. He couldn’t possibly enact retaliation on Honey without facing certain death. There wasn’t much he could do except let time work its magic.

That sixth day changed things, though. The sixth day brought Honey to his mother’s doorstep.

Akaashi was staring up at his ceiling for the millionth hour in a row when he mother called out to him.

“Keiji! You have a guest. Said his name is George Fernandez.”

Akaashi’s vision immediately went red at the memory of Vegas. He quickly jumped out of his bed and stomped into the apartment, shocking and confusing his poor mother. His eyes landed immediately on Honey, who stood in the doorway with his hat in hand. Akaashi vaguely glanced at his mother before shoving Honey into the hall.

“You have some fuckin’ _nerve. Nerve, balls, audacity—_ You show up at my fuckin’ mom’s? Who— Get the _fuck_ outta my fuckin’ face.”

Honey frowned at him, “Watch it.”

 _“Fuck. You,”_ Akaashi spat, getting into his face.

“You’re mad at me,” Honey stated.

_“You don’t fuckin’ say!”_

“Anger looks bad on you, Baby.”

“Tell me!”

“What?”

“Tell me how _my_ fuckin’ wife felt! Huh? _My wife. My_ woman.”

“Like, what? Pussy or otherwise?”

Akaashi nearly passed out from the pressure of the anger that swelled within him. He envisioned himself taking that metal rod from the warehouse at the docks and smashing Honey’s face in. But in reality, he had to support himself using the wall so he wouldn’t crumble in on himself.

“C’mon, Baby. Don’t be this way. Don’t ya think you owed me at least piece of her?”

 _“Owed you—“_ Akaashi gripped his chest, feeling about ready to have a heart attack.

“Ya, owed me! Ya wouldn’t have even met if it weren’t for me. And ya gotta admit— She’s _fine._ She wanted me and I couldn’t say no. You don’t say no to a woman like that. C’mon, you know that more than anyone.”

Akaashi removed his hands from his chest and the wall before holding his head in his hands and screaming, _“She was my fucking wife!”_

“Ya, I know.”

Honey sighed before stepping forward and wrapping his arms tightly around Akaashi. He only gripped tighter when Akaashi started thrashing and hitting at him. He only withstood it and shushed him in a soft tone.

“I know, Baby. I know. Shh, shh, shh. It’s okay.”

“You can’t—“ Akaashi gasped as sobs began wracking at him, forcing his blows to grow softer until the stopped. “You can’t fuckin’ do this to me. You can’t fuckin’ do it. That was my wife. I loved her. I love her. How could you do that to me?”

“I’m sorry, Baby. I never wanted to hurt you. I’m sorry.”

 _“You’re not!”_ Akaashi screamed into his chest. _“You’re not fuckin’ sorry! Don’t say you’re fuckin’ sorry if you’re not fuckin’ sorry.”_

Honey squeezed him closer and rubbed his back before whispering, “I am sorry, though.”

Akaashi’s knees buckled as the past of all his damage rushed up on him and Honey merely kept his grip on him as they sunk to the floor. Akaashi continued screaming and crying into his chest and he just kept holding him.

“I fucking _hate you.”_

“No, you don’t, Baby.”

“I do.”

“Nah. Don’t say that.”

Akaashi sniffed noisily, “How could you sleep with my wife?”

Honey shrugged, “I told ya. She asked and I couldn’t say no.”

“She really asked?”

“Uh huh.”

“How could she do that?”

“‘Cause she’s a whore.”

“You’re a whore.”

Honey laughed, “Men can’t be whores. C’mon now, Baby.”

Akaashi shook his head and crumbled more completely into his arms, “I want her dead.”

“Nah, don’t say that either.”

When his tears finally ceased, Akaashi sat back and glared at Honey, “I hate her.”

Honey shook his head and helped him to his feet, “You _never_ trust women. Love ‘em. Treat ‘em well. But never trust ‘em. This is what happens.”

“What about Anna?”

Honey shrugged and took his cigarettes out, offering one to Akaashi, which he took. He then lit Akaashi’s cigarette and then his own. He gestured between them.

“Wives come and go, but _this_ is forever. Be angry, but get over it. There’s a million women out there that deserve you more than fuckin’ Laura.”

“I really do love her.”

“Even still?”

“Probably always,” Akaashi breathed before taking a long drag of his cigarette.

“What about me?”

“What _about_ you?”

“You still love me?”

Akaashi stared at him for a long, long moment as they smoked. Honey’s warm, gold eyes bore into him, urging him to say anything aside from the same response or better than that for his wife. Akaashi sighed and looked away.

“Yeah.”

“Always?”

“Sure.”

Honey leaned down to meet his eye and Akaashi glared heavily at him as he smiled.

“You sure ya mean that?”

“Never sleep with my fuckin’ women again.”

“If I don’t sleep with the ones who want it then how do ya know if they’re bad women?”

Akaashi sighed and inhaled his smoke, “Fuck outta here.”

“Fine. Get dressed. You took long enough away. We got shit to do.”

“Like what?”

“Divorce lawyer to start.”

“Yeah,” Akaashi nodded as he turned back to the door. “I’d say.”

Honey laughed and knocked him in the back with his fist, “Attaboy! Fuck her!”

_“Fuck her!”_

“I love ya, kid. You’re just young. This isn’t the only lesson you’ll learn.”

Akaashi glanced at him before nodding, “I suppose that’s true.”

“It’s all true. She never deserved ya. Hurry up, I don’t feel like waitin’.”

“Sure.”

* * *

“He slept with your wife?”

“More than that. He personally drove me to the divorce lawyer _and_ paid for the entire process. He said it was his fault, so he’d help how he could.”

“I’m surprised you forgave him so easily.”

“I learned three lessons on that day. The first being, don’t trust the women. The second being, I had a lot of lessons left to learn. The third being, forgive but _never, ever forget._ Besides, that was far from our last fight about it.”

She supplied him with a new water bottle as he finished his and he thanked her quietly as she undid the cap for him.

“Wouldn’t believe these hands ended hundreds of men’s lives by lookin’ at ‘em now, huh?” He chuckled softly.

She glanced at his hands for a long moment before looking back to her notepad, “So, what happened to Laura after that?”

“What happened to her? She went back to the desert. After that, I haven’t the faintest.”

“She never reached out?”

“You don’t screw over a button man, woman or not, and reasonably expect decent results at a reconciliation. You humbly slip off with your life and pray to God above you never hear from ‘em again.”

“And things were just _fine_ between you and Kōtarō after that?”

Akaashi shrugged, “No, like I said, Laura changed things between us, for sure. Remember how I told ya Honey felt the need to be seen as a kind and just man? Had this _compulsive need_ to be liked?”

“Yeah?”

“He really demonstrated that in the years to come.”

“How so?”

“Lemme tell ya about my promotion. If ya wanna call it that.”

“Sure.”

* * *

Akaashi walked down the ever familiar alleyway, briefcase in hand. His divorce had just been finalized after half a year. He sighed as he abused the metal door with three firm hits of his fist. After a moment the door opened to allow him in.

“Lil’ Red.”

“Baby.”

Akaashi rolled his eyes at the nickname before entering the building, going straight to Honey’s office. He didn’t knock before entering and immediately recoiled and held his hand over the assaulting scene that confronted him upon doing so.

The woman riding Honey passionately let out a shocked squeal as she covered her breasts.

“Jesus fuck, you’re at work.”

Honey shifted the woman on his lap closer to him and pulled closer to the desk.

“All the more reason for you to knock.”

“Whatever,” Akaashi threw the briefcase down harshly on the floor and immediately turned to leave. “Enjoy.”

He slammed the door behind him and moved back to common turf, sitting at the round table in the same seat he began it all in. He sighed heavily and lit a cigarette as he waited. He perked up as he looked to the wooden door as it opened and Smokey strolled in.

“Zio!”

“Oh, ‘scoin’ on, Baby?”

Akaashi eagerly stood, “How is it? The girls? Maryann? I miss ‘em!”

“Come visit ‘em, then,” Smokey slapped him on the back. “I gotta get to work right now, though. What’re you doin’?”

“Waitin’ for Sir Boss Lord to finish with his hooker.”

“Classic. Well, have fun.”

Akaashi slumped back into his chair and ashed his cigarette, “Ya, I’ll try.”

“That’s the spirit.”

Akaashi made it through half his pack before Smokey emerged from the office and showed the woman out. He turned back and stared into the back of Akaashi’s head as he retied his tie. Akaashi stared at the way the cigarette ate itself, ignoring him.

“Okay, Baby. I’m ready to pay attention to ya.”

Akaashi continued watching the cigarette consume itself.

“Baby?”

Silence.

Honey sighed and inserted himself in Akaashi’s field of vision, _“Hullo?_ I’m talkin’ to ya, brat.”

Akaashi’s cold eyes found his warm ones, “Was that how it looked when ya fucked my wife?”

“Ugh, back on that? Really? Get over it, already.”

“Whose wife was _that?_ It certainly wasn’t yours.”

Honey sat on the table and pushed Akaashi’s chair back with his foot so he’d be forced to look at him, “What are ya? Jealous or somethin’?”

“Of you?” Akaashi scoffed, his ash falling to the floor. “Oh, good God, no.”

Honey frowned before smirking, “Nah. Of the women.”

_“Excuse me?”_

Honey threw his head back as he laughed, “I’m fuckin’ witcha. You’re no queer. Are ya?”

Akaashi glared into his amused gaze, “Fugget about it.”

“Consider it forgotten. C’mon, I needta talk to ya. I don’t like waiting.”

“No, you don’t,” Akaashi sighed as he followed him back to his office. “I genuinely need to know if you ever brought Laura back here.”

Honey glanced at him and rolled his eyes, “No. Okay? You _work_ here. I’m a dog but I’m not a fuckin’ animal.”

“Of course you’re not. Where’d you take her, then?”

“Seriously, Baby? You sure you wanna know?”

“No. Don’t tell me,” Akaashi squeezed his eyes shut against his anger as he sat.

“I can tell you’re still pretty broken up about it all,” Honey muttered as he sat.

“Huh, really? I thought I was doing a _great job_ at covering it up,” Akaashi seethed.

Honey rolled his eyes again as he leaned back in his seat, “Shuddup. That’s why I have an offer for you.”

“Oh, _do_ indulge me.”

“Watch your fuckin’ mouth. I’ve been lenient with ya because I felt sorry for ya, but I’ve had it up to here,” Honey held his hand up, “With the fuckin’ disrespect. I am your _boss._ You watch how you talk, brat.”

Akaashi sat back, crossed his ankle over his knee and folded his arms over his chest as he stared directly into Honey’s eyes.

“Good. Anyway, I want you to be my right hand man from now on. Workin’ right beside me. Muscle man, enforcer, whatever ya wanna call it. Thoughts? You like that?”

Akaashi ran his tongue over his teeth but otherwise did not respond.

“Anything?” Honey folded his hands on the desk and leaned forward as he raised an eyebrow. “Nothin’? C’mon, I’m not a fuckin’ mind reader.”

Akaashi pressed his tongue into his cheek, “I think I wanna work for Tetsurō.”

“Okay,” Honey frowned deeply. “That wasn’t an option.”

“Why not?”

“Because it isn’t, Baby.”

“It should be.”

Honey’s face quickly fell into anger, “You wanna go suck Kuroo’s cock? That what you wanna do?” He pointed aggressively at the door. “You wanna go be one of his fuckin’ kittens? Curl up in his lap so he can scratch ya behind your little fuckin’ ears? That what you want?”

Akaashi shrugged, “You don’t really care about what I want.”

Honey slammed his hand on the desk, knocking several things over, “I’m tryin’ _so_ fuckin’ hard right now, Baby. _So fuckin’ hard._ The fuck do you want from me? Huh? The fuck do you want?”

Akaashi couldn’t help the way his lips contorted into a smile as he watched Honey’s face get redder, “Ya really wanna know?”

“Didn’t I fuckin’ ask?”

Akaashi stood aggressively, knocking his chair over as he went and leaned far across the desk until his face was half an inch away from Honey’s. He stared him directly in the eye and could feel his breath against his face.

“I want _you_ to _apologize.”_

Honey furrowed his brow, “For fuckin’ what?”

_“Sleepin’ with my fucking wife! Destroying my marriage! The fuck you think?”_

Honey stood and shoved Akaashi back by the shoulder. He quickly walked around his desk and jabbed him hard in the chest with every other word he screamed at him.

_“You wanna fuckin’ yell at me? Come into my fuckin’ home and get in my fuckin’ face? Who the fuck do you think you are? Huh? Fucking cazzo piece of shit brat, you!”_

Akaashi shoved him right back, “Fuck you, man! _Fuck you!_ You wanna ruin my fuckin’ marriage, break my fuckin’ _home,_ and you’re too big a man to apologize and _mean it?_ Have you ever meant a single thing that’s come out of your no good, rotton fuckin’ mouth?”

“I apologized to you fuckin’ _plenty,_ Baby,” Honey grabbed his hands in a vice grips. “You’ve heard more _fuckin’ “I’m sorries”_ from me than any other fuckin’ motherfucker on God’s green earth. Go _fuck yourself.”_

Akaashi tried ripping his hands away, but to no avail. Honey simply pulled him closer and continued yelling.

“Ya really think it wouldn’t happen if it wasn’t me? _That what ya think?_ Then you’re dumber than I fuckin’ thought. _A whore is a fuckin’ whore._ She wanted it. If I didn’t give it to her, she’d get it somewhere else. Learn to fuckin’ _share._ We coulda had a good thing but you wanted to act like the fuckin’ baby you’re named after.”

Akaashi stared him directly in the eyes as he panted after his outburst. Neither said anything for a long moment as Honey held him painfully still by his hands. Akaashi silently collected as much saliva in his mouth as possible before hacking it directly into his face. Honey slowly let go of his hands before wiping his face clean with his sleeve then stared down at it before looking back up at Akaashi. He then wound his hand up and backhanded him.

Akaashi held his burning cheek in his hand but remained standing. Honey then grabbed him by the shoulder and punched him hard in the stomach. Akaashi grunted loudly and gagged as bile climbed his throat rapidly. Then, Honey kicked him hard right where he punched and Akaashi fell to the floor, arms instinctively going to protect his vital organs.

He kept his head tucked into his body even after the door slammed open and he heard Smokey’s voice boom over the dull thuds of his body being beaten.

“The fuck is _happenin’ in here?”_

Honey wasn’t so much as slowed at his appearance. That was until the ever familiar sound of the most effective negotiator entered the equation.

“Get the fuck away from him, Kōtarō.”

Honey heaved air into his lungs heavily as he rounded on Smokey, “What? You too, now? Fuck! Ya fuckin’ queers.”

Akaashi glanced up at them through hazy eyes. Smokey held his gun directly to Honey’s side as he glared at him.

“The fuck you just call me?”

Honey leaned into his face, “Queer. Fuckin’ fags. That what you did with my boy when I was in the meadows? Hm? Jerk each other off? Ya get off over lil’ boys? Fuckin’ sicko.”

“I’m givin’ you all of a second to change your fuckin’ tone.”

“You’re gonna come in here and tell me how to handle _my_ men? You wanna let him sit here and disrespect me in my home? _Fuck that, Kuroo! Fuck that!”_

“You need to calm the fuck down,” Tetsurō breathed. “Go sit.”

Honey glared but reluctantly nodded and agreed.

“Christ’s sake,” Smokey sighed as he tucked his gun back into the waistband of his pants. “Could hear your dumb ass through _two_ doors and a hallway. Get a fuckin’ grip.”

Akaashi reached up to him as he knelt down to help him up. He clung to Smokey’s shoulders, certainly not strong enough to stand. Smokey sighed loudly as he gave up on supporting his weight in favor of just heaving him over his shoulder, then winced as Akaashi vomited blood down his back.

“Great,” Smokey muttered. “You’re buyin’ me a new suit, Kōtarō.”

“Get the fuck outta my office. Bring ‘im to the mercy room. Or don’t. I don’t give a fuck. He’s yours now. Just like fuckin’ _Maryann, Kuroo! Keep on takin’ what’s mine, huh?”_

Akaashi stared at Honey through hooded eyes and spinning vision.

“Hear that? Got what ya wanted didn’t ya? Ought to start callin’ ya Kitten, now. Goodbye, Kitten.”

Akaashi fell limp against Smokey’s back as blood continued rolling slowly from his mouth.

“Oh, and _Kitten,”_ Honey called. “About your wife, since ya asked. I took her _nowhere._ I fucked her right in your bed. Hows that feel? Huh?”

_“Shut you fuckin’ mouth, Kōtarō. That was a man’s wife. Have some class.”_

“Ya, you’d know about class, huh? Knockin’ my woman up. Fuck outta here.”

Akaashi’s eyes fell shut as own words spun inside his head like an unending echo chamber, _‘That’s what happens to a_ bad _dog that bites the hand that feeds it. Be a_ good _dog.’_

He regained consciousness in an unfamiliar room. He startled up and threw his blanket far off before immediately regretting it. He groaned loudly as he laid back down, pain shooting through him. He closed his eyes again, immediately deciding he’d welcome death if it came to him. It’d be better than the pain he was in.

“Mornin’, sunshine.”

Akaashi opened his eyes again and glared up at lights, “Blondie?”

“What’s goin’ on?”

“Prayin’ for death. Where am I?”

“Stinkin’ up my couch with your sorry ass. The fuck happened to you?”

“I was a bad dog.”

Blondie laughed hard as he lit a cigarette, “You went to the vet, ya know. Three fractured ribs, broken fingers _and tons_ of internal bleedin’.”

“Great. Gimme a smoke.”

Blondie laughed again before doing so. He placed the cigarette between his lips and lit it for him.

“Want a painkiller? I wanted to wait and ask before just shovin’ it down your throat.”

“I’d do heroin if it got ridda this pain,” Akaashi groaned his smoke out.

Blondie leaned over his face and raised his eyebrows, “Wanna do some heroin?”

“Fuck off. Fugget about it.”

Blondie laughed before disappearing then reappearing again with a small baggie of pills. He helped Akaashi swallow one down with the assistance of some _Cutty._ He sighed and laid back again, taking a long drag of his cigarette.

“Thanks.”

“Sure. What’d you do to deserve this? I’ve never heard of Kōtarō beatin’ someone like this. ‘Specially not ‘imself.”

“I spit in his face.”

“Ya, but, like _how?”_

“With my mouth.”

“Wait,” Blondie paused. “You _actually_ spit in his face?”

“Yep.”

_“Why? Are ya fuckin’ cracked?”_

“He slept with my wife.”

“Dude,” Blondie breathed. “Ya gotta let ‘im get away with that shit. Was it worth it?”

“No, I don’t and yes, it was.”

Blondie hummed, “I’m supposed to call Tetsurō when you got up. Ya ready for that?”

“Ugh. I guess.”

“Alright.”

They waited in silence for a long while after Blondie hung up his call with Smokey. Akaashi was about to fall asleep again when he knocked loudly at the door. Blondie quickly moved to open it and Smokey strolled across the room to stand over Akaashi.

“Thought you said he’s up.”

“He was.”

Smokey snapped his fingers directly before his eyes until he struggled to open them. Smokey frowned down at him.

“How ya doin’?”

“I wish I was dead.”

“Ya would’ve been.”

“Shoulda let it happen. I can’t live without her.”

Smokey frowned deeper as Akaashi closed his eyes again, “You’re a fuckin’ idiot, kid. Get over it.”

“Ya know, you people keep sayin’ that, but somehow it isn’t gettin’ easier.”

Smokey looked to Blondie, who just shrugged, before looking back, “Seriously. You weren’t even together that long.”

“I love her.”

“Loved. Past tense.”

“No.”

“Seriously?”

“Yes.”

Smokey sighed loudly, “Am I gonna have to hitcha myself? ‘Cause, fuck, Baby. I’m _sorry_ he did that, but it _isn’t. That. Deep.”_

“He broke my home.”

“It was barely a home.”

“It was my home.”

“Hardly.”

“It was.”

“Okay, I’m gonna level with ya,” Smokey leaned over and snapped again until he opened his eyes. “Some people, but not me—“

“Yeah, not you. I get it. Some people.”

“Yeah. They’ve been saying you’ve been failing to demonstrate appreciation.”

Akaashi snorted painfully through his nose before closing his eyes again, “So, what? They gonna kill me? Good.”

“I don’t know how to help ya if you aren’t gonna let me.”

“Good.”

“Not just you. Momma, too.”

Akaashi peeked his eyes open again before groaning, “Fine. What do they want?”

“Make good with Kōtarō.”

“Not worth it,” Akaashi shut his eyes again.

“No? Momma’s not worth simply _apologizing?”_

“Nothin’ is worth speakin’ to that fuckin’ cocksucker.”

“Bab—“

 _“What about you, huh?_ You gonna sit there and let ‘im tell ya you diddle lil’ boys? Steal from him? That ya have no class? Huh?”

Smokey glared at him, _“I love you, but watch it._ Kōtarō is my oldest friend. That was the first time he brought it up since it happened. He’s our goddamn girl’s _godfather._ You rattled him so deeply.”

“Me? How? He doesn’t givea fuck ‘bout me.”

“That’s just not true.”

“How isn’t it true? He beat the fuck outta me.”

“You were outta line.”

“Whatever. I’m not makin’ good with ‘im. I hope he chokes on a fat dick and dies on it.”

Smokey rolled his eyes and slapped him. Akaashi spit onto the floor, but otherwise didn’t respond.

“Listen. He has some issues when it comes to me. With the Maryann of it all. He got spooked when he thought he lost his boy to me.”

“I’m not his fuckin’ _boy.”_

“You _are,_ though. You owe him your life. How many times do I have to fuckin’ say this? I don’t like repeating myself, ya know.”

“Then kill me. Then we’re even.”

“You’d only be even if his finger pulled the trigger.”

Akaashi peeked at him at that, “No.”

“Then make good.”

“No.”

“Then he kills ya.”

“No.”

 _“Fucki— Listen, brat._ You have two options: You make good or he kills you. I _cannot_ dumb it down more than that.”

“I’ll think about it.”

“Some people have said you have all of twenty four hours to make the call.”

“Some people can suck my cock.”

Smokey sighed, “Alright. I’m going home to my family. Hopefully I’ll see you later. Make the right decision, Baby.”

Akaashi watched him for as long as he could before his eyes felt like they’d fall out of his head. He squeezed his eyes tightly shut again as the apartment settled back into thick silence.

Blondie shifted in his seat, “Ya know, you sh—“

“Gimme a smoke.”

Akaashi chose life. It was a rough twenty four hours of back and forth within his own mind, but mostly it was the image of his mother dying alone, afraid and confused that brought him to his decision. He then took a full month off to recover from his Honey-inflicted injuries— and he spent every moment of it agonizing about going back.

All that time led him right back to the desert. No Smokey, no Laura, nothing. Just a life he felt better without. He stared up at the fully functional hotel and casino his cocksucker of a boss built. Admittedly, it was amazing. 

“Harrah’s,” he snorted.

He went through the motions with the lady at the front desk before going up the elevator and letting himself into the large suite that seemed specifically built for Honey himself. Only that time, he was _not_ treated to the sight of Honey fraternizing with some prostitute. Nor was Honey snorting cocaine off a mirror. In fact, Honey wasn’t there at all. Perfect.

He let himself into a bedroom before unpacking the essentials— _Cutty,_ cocaine of his own, and of course, a man’s best friend: A Colt M1900. Easy to conceal. Powerful enough. Semi-automatic. Seven rounds. Fast reload. It certainly wasn’t the only friend he brought, but it was his favorite.

He licked his thumb before dipping into his own _Altoids_ tin of coke before rubbing it into his gums and enjoyed the entire five minutes of nothing he felt. He stayed there and repeated the process until he heard the door of the suite open. Then, he continued.

When Honey came to his door, he didn’t look up. He stayed until he stopped flying, then took flight once again.

“What are you doing?”

Akaashi said nothing. He knew better by then. He simply stared forward at his gun as he took a long drink of _Cutty._ He remained silent even when Honey took the bottle right from his hand. Honey loved taking things from him— his wife, home, peace of mind, entire life, his very sense of being alive. He was used to it. What was forty ounces of liquor compared to the rest?

“Baby.”

Akaashi glared forward and seriously considered his friend’s help. It was practically _begging_ to put a hole through Honey’s no good, lying face.

“Are you still mad at me?”

Akaashi skipped the gums and used his pinky nail he grew specifically for the purpose of scooping and snorting. His eyes glazed over as he kept his nostrils pinched. Honey sighed and took the cocaine from him too. He may as well have. Taking things was Honey’s favorite pastime. Akaashi sighed heavily and laid back before closing his eyes, hoping if he ignored him hard enough he’d just go away. Only, the exact opposite happened.

Honey’s hand reached down and pushed his wet hair off his sweaty forehead, “This isn’t you, Baby. What are you doin’?”

 _‘You don’t fuckin’ know me,’_ he thought.

“Talk to me, Baby.”

Akaashi’s eyes snapped open and he immediately met Honey’s eyes. He glared all of his hatred up to him before rolling over.

“Baby…” Honey sighed before sitting on the side of the bed. “Come on.”

“Thought I was Kitten?”

“No,” Honey sighed again. “No, you’re always gonna be Baby. Can you start actin’ like it again?”

“I thought I _do_ act just like the baby I’m named after?”

“C’mon, I didn’t mean that. You know that.”

Akaashi stared intently at the wall and Honey shifted uncomfortably.

“Let’s hash this out, c’mon. I thought you comin’ here meant we’re good?”

“Me comin’ here is a means to an end.”

“Huh?”

“Keepin’ my mom alive. It has _nothin’_ to do with how _I_ feel about _you.”_

Honey tapped his shoe against the floor, “Okay. Can we talk about it, then?”

“I have nothin’ to say to you. Tell me where to point my gun, I’ll shoot, then we go home. This is work. We’re not _friends.”_

“I didn’t know this would matter to ya so much,” Honey whispered. “I wouldn’t have… Ya know. Done— I.”

“Yeah? You wouldn’t have?”

Honey turned more fully to look at his face, _“No._ I mean, no one _ever_ cares. A woman is a woman, ya know? That’s all.”

“She wasn’t _a woman._ She was my _wife_ and I _loved her.”_

“I’m sorry, Baby. Okay? I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt ya. That’s what you wanted, right? An apology? There it is. In case ya didn’t hear it, I’m _sorry, Baby.”_

“It’s too late to apologize to me.”

“Then what do ya want?”

Akaashi bit his tongue as his anger swelled. He didn’t need to learn the same lesson twice. Mostly, he didn’t want to disappoint Smokey by not coming home.

“Tell me why ya did it.”

“Did what?”

 _“Slept with Laura._ At least say it meant somethin’.”

Honey stayed silent for a long moment, “It did. Probably not in the way ya think, though.”

“Elaborate.”

Honey turned away and placed both feet on the floor, “I never had much control in my life. Ya know, my _past_ life. T-the one before… Before this one. So, _sometimes_ when ya get that power you never had… I don’t know. It’s easy to, uh, overindulge. And I may, perhaps, be a bit… Uh. Guilty of that. So, it’s like… When a woman— such as _Laura,_ your ex-wife, comes to a guy like— Like _me—“_

“Spit it out.”

“Right. A-A guy like me. It just makes a lil’ guy like me feel like he can be a _big_ guy like all the guys he knows he can never be like, ya know?”

“No. I don’t.”

“Okay,” Honey let out a shaky breath, “A woman like Laura. Could have any guy she wants, ya know?”

“Your point better be _astounding.”_

“But she chose _you,_ ya know? And you— You’re a great guy. Stand up guy. So, then, when she comes to a guy like _me…_ I-It just makes a guy like me feel like maybe he’s a lil’ bit closer to bein’ a guy like you. Ya know?”

Akaashi furrowed his brow and frowned at the wall. Honey took another breath in as he fiddled with the bottle of liquor.

“And it’s just like… When a guy like me gets a woman like, uh, _Maryann._ And he’s _younger_ and a bit more _reckless—_ Then that guy loses the woman. Ya know, the woman like, uh, _Maryann._ Then the Maryanns find the Kuroos. Then the Kōtarōs are alone, wondering how he can become a Kuroo. So then, the Lauras come to the Kōtarōs and the Kōtarōs think they can be the Kuroos. But he’ll never be the Kuroo.”

“No, he won’t.”

“No. Because he wasn’t the Kuroo. He was the Kōtarō. The _new_ Kōtarō who took the _new_ Maryann from the _new_ Kuroo. And then the _new_ Kōtarō is a _new_ brand of…” Honey sighed. “Stupid and _mean_ and _pathetic_ and just… Sorry. _So_ sorry, Baby.”

“You should be sorry.”

“I am sorry.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“What about back then? You weren’t sorry then.”

Honey sighed and his hands squeaked against the glass bottle as he twisted it between his fingers, “I grew up with sisters, ya know? Six of ‘em. And my dad… Was a mean sonuvabitch. Anyone so much as came near my sisters, he stomped ‘em out. Protected ‘em, ya know? But who was protectin’ me? No one. A man protects himself, that’s just the way it is. So, I blow up… Ya know, sometimes. I say things I don’t mean when I get scared.”

“Why were you scared?”

“You wanted to leave me.”

“So?”

“So? So, that. That exactly. I didn’t want ya to go.”

“So you beat me?”

“I told ya,” Honey curled in on himself. “I blow up sometimes, ya know. I’m workin’ on it. And I’m sorry for that, too.”

Akaashi sighed loudly to the wall, “That doesn’t make it okay.”

“I know,” Honey whispered. “I— I know, Baby.”

“You need to do better. You can’t just— You can’t just _fuck up_ and let people clean your messes. You’re a man. Clean your own damn shit.”

Honey turned to look at him, “Yeah. You’re right.”

“I know I am.”

“What can I do to make you forgive me?”

“Lemme fuck your wife.”

Honey stared at him for a long moment, “Okay.”

Akaashi furrowed his brow further before turning his head to look at him. His face and eyes held no humor or deception. He turned back to the wall.

“Fugget about it. I was joking.”

Honey smiled slightly, “You were?”

“Yeah.”

“What can I do then?”

“Better.”

“Yeah. Better. I can do better.”

Honey reached out again and pushed Akaashi’s drying hair back again. He sighed lightly as his fingers wrapped into his soft curls.

“You’re my boy, Baby. You can’t leave me, too. Not you.”

“I’m not your boy.”

“You are.”

“Okay.”

Akaashi glared at the wall, accepting his fate. If Honey said he was his boy, he couldn’t argue. If Honey said he was his dog, he couldn’t dispute. If Honey said he was his sweetie lil’ bitch boy and to take his cock all the livelong day, there was no retort. The only outcome to his lip was a bullet to his mother’s head. That was that, was that, was that. And _no,_ he wasn’t being dramatic. Not at all. Not in the least. He certainly hadn’t gotten away with far, far more than anyone else could’ve dreamed of when it came to disrespecting a capo. Honey certainly wouldn’t have stopped anything he possibly could’ve.

Honey’s hand moved from his hair to his cheek before pulling his chin over so their eyes could meet again.

“Do you hate me?”

“Right now? Kinda. Ask me again in a week.”

“Three days.”

“Five.”

“Four.”

“Fine.”

“C’mon, I wanna show you something.”

Akaashi sighed and sat up. Honey stretched and looked down to the large sweat marks all over Akaashi’s clothes. He nodded slowly.

“I’m gonna take _these,”_ he held the tin and booze up, “Lock ‘em up. You… Should probably get dressed? Maybe shower? Up to you. There are suits for you in the closet.”

_“Canali?”_

Honey smiled as he left the room, _“Canali.”_

Akaashi re-emerged from his room showered and dressed in a black suit with a purple lining. Honey looked him up and down before nodding his approval.

“You like it, Baby?”

Akaashi nodded once, “Yeah.”

“Good. Come with me.”

Akaashi followed him down to the lobby, then right out the front door. He kept his hands in his pockets the entire way and his eyes firmly on the ground. He hadn’t expected Honey to stop walking as soon as they hit the street and walked directly into him. Honey wrapped an arm around his shoulders and readjusted his body so they faced the casino once again. Akaashi followed his outstretched finger to the building.

“What?”

“It’s done.”

“Obviously.”

“Do you like it?”

Akaashi sighed and rubbed a hand across his face, “It’s very nice.”

“Half of it is yours, ya know.”

Akaashi immediately frowned as his ears drowned out anything that wasn’t Honey’s voice. He slowly looked up and found he was already smiling down at him.

“Excuse me?”

Honey’s hands fell and he crossed them across his chest before looking back up with a smile. He shrugged.

“Legally, anyway.”

_“Why?”_

“Ah. I needed another name for the paperwork.”

“I thought you get your counterparts’ names from the graveyard. Ya know, ‘cause you _‘can’t trust the women’.”_

Honey laughed, “It was rainin’. Didn’t feel like makin’ the trip.”

Akaashi squinted at him, “It was rainin’? In the desert?”

“Was quite the sight,” Honey breathed.

Akaashi looked back up to the casino with him, “I bet.”

“0.5% of the proceeds are goin’ directly into an account to be gifted to your first born child on their eighteen birthday.”

Akaashi looked back up to him with wide eyes.

“That’s about $150 big ones before all the… Ya know, cuts and taxes and _bull.”_

“One hundred fifty thousand dollars a year?” Akaashi gaped.

Honey finally dragged his eyes from the building to smile down at him, _“A week.”_

“A _week?”_

“A week.”

Akaashi quickly did the math in his head, “In eighteen years that’s… That’s fuckin’ one hundred fifty _million_ dollars.”

Honey shrugged and pursed his lips, “Give or take. Remember the cuts. Also, that’s if ya… Ya know. Get started right away. If your kid arrived _today._ Somethin’ you’re not tellin’ me?”

Akaashi let out the ghost of a laugh as he stared up at the casino, “Why me?”

“You’re my boy,” Honey said before walking back to the door. “My right hand man. Welcome to the big leagues, kid. From now on it’s board rooms and daytime. Well, except for the times it isn’t.”

“Hey,” Akaashi called and Honey turned. “There a band here?”

Honey raised an eyebrow at him, “Obviously.”

“Get a drink with me.”

Honey slid into an easy smile and held a hand out. Akaashi jogged forward and Honey took him under his arm before leading him to the lounge. They sat at a table and a waiter came nearly immediately with the whiskey. Akaashi stood and slipped a bandsmen some money.

“Ya know Cohen?”

“Who doesn’t?”

“Play me _Famous Blue Raincoat.”_

“Sure thing, kid.”

Akaashi smiled at him and returned to his seat. He cheersed Honey before sipping his drink just as the band switched gears into the slow song. The second the first chord hit, Honey redirected his attention to the stage with wide eyes.

“You _requested_ Cohen? You _really are_ my boy!”

Akaashi smiled around the lip of his glass, “You’re familiar already, I know. But I want you to look me in the eyes and apply the lyrics.”

Honey’s smile was already gone, “Okay.”

_‘It's four in the morning, the end of December_

_I'm writing you now just to see if you're better_

_New York is cold, but I like where I'm living_

_There's music on Clinton Street all through the evening.’_

Honey’s eyes never wavered from Akaashi’s as the melancholy notes floated to their ears.

_‘I hear that you're building your little house deep in the desert_

_You're living for nothing now, I hope you're keeping some kind of record.’_

Akaashi leaned forward to stare more intently into his eyes, but he remained unbothered.

_‘Ah, the last time we saw you you looked so much older_

_Your famous blue raincoat was torn at the shoulder’_

He gave up on intimidating him and sat back, though maintained eye contact.

_‘You'd been to the station to meet every train_

_And you came home without Lili Marlene’_

He slowly furrowed his brow as Honey raised his and lifted his glass.

_‘And you treated my woman to a flake of your life_

_And when she came back she was nobody's wife.’_

Akaashi shook his head as Honey lit two cigarettes and handed one to Akaashi, squinting through the smoke but never breaking their contact.

_‘Well I see you there with the rose in your teeth_

_One more thin gypsy thief_

_Well I see Jane's awake --_

_She sends her regards.’_

Akaashi puffed his smoke out as far over to Honey as possible, but it did nothing to throw his stare.

_‘And what can I tell you my brother, my killer_

_What can I possibly say?_

_I guess that I miss you, I guess I forgive you_

_I'm glad you stood in my way.’_

Honey slowly smiled at him as he took another sip of his whiskey.

_‘If you ever come by here, for Jane or for me_

_Your enemy is sleeping, and his woman is free.’_

Akaashi’s eyes bored into his boss. The man had no trouble maintaining his eye whatsoever. Akaashi’s grip on his glass only got tighter.

_‘Yes, and thanks, for the trouble you took from her eyes_

_I thought it was there for good so I never tried.’_

Honey continued smiling at Akaashi as he casually smoked and drank, then spoke right along with the last line, _‘Sincerely, L. Cohen.’_

Honey raised his eyebrows again when the music once again shifted into a lively tune.

“Well, Baby. I must say _I_ enjoyed it but why’d you feel the need to clear out my lounge?”

Akaashi glanced around at the thinning room before shaking his head, “Thought that would’ve hurt ya more. But I guess you’re just dead inside. Ya know… If you could look me in the eye and smile while you heard that.”

Honey frowned more the more dejected his voice got.

“Ya think I haven’t broken my own heart with that song before?”

Akaashi blinked slowly before looking into his whiskey.

“Ya know, like, when my wife left me for my oldest friend? And there was nothin’ I could do but smile ‘cause he’s a real stand up guy and she deserves a man like that? Nah. All it takes is one, Baby.”

“One?”

“One woman to scare ya off all women forever.”

“But you’re married,” Akaashi shook his head, confused.

“Nah,” Honey smiled absently at his whiskey before throwing his butt into the ashtray. “Not anymore.”

“Wait, what?” Akaashi whispered.

Honey held his hand up with the same absent smile, still not looking at Akaashi. All his fingers had his regular rings save for his ring finger.

“We’re separated.”

“How come?”

“Ah,” Honey shrugged. “Somethin’ about me bein’ a real sonuvabitch, I guess. Who can blame her?”

“Not a soul.”

“That’s right.”

Honey frowned after their pathetic laughter subsided. He pushed his empty glass away and leaned on one hand before gesturing to Akaashi with the other.

“Tell me somethin’.”

“Not like I can say no.”

Honey snorted through his nose, “Are you still this mad at her?”

Akaashi shrugged before finishing his own whiskey and putting his glass with Honey’s, “No. I suppose not.”

“Why are ya fuckin’ breaking my back then? It’s not like I took vows with ya.”

Akaashi rolled his eyes as he lit a new cigarette, “I think part of me knew she’d do it to me. I wasn’t exactly home much. I wouldn’t give her kids. Besides.”

“Besides?”

Akaashi shrugged again and smiled as he puffed out his smoke, “She was fuckin’ crazy.”

“That so?” Honey laughed.

“I married her after three fuckin’ months. That’s honestly my own fault. But _you…_ I didn’t think _you’d_ do it to me. I trusted ya fully, ya know? I dunno. Just hurts. If ya can’t trust the women and ya can’t trust the men, who do ya trust?”

“Not a fuckin’ soul, Baby. Not fuckin’ one of ‘em.”

“I have a question for you.”

Honey leaned forward and pressed the end of his cigarette into Akaashi’s to light his own. He maintained tight eye contact the entire time, then hummed his acknowledgment as he sat back.

“Why haven’t ya killed me yet? I spit in your face. I don’t think this is about makin’ it up to me.”

Honey laughed amusedly, “What’s it about, then?”

“I’m not sure. That’s why I’m askin’.”

Honey stayed quiet for a long time as he stared at Akaashi, considering him. He shrugged then stood. Once his back was turned, he lifted his cigarette hand in dismissal and began walking away.

“I suppose I trust ya. Besides, you’re too young to die.”

* * *

She pursed her lips, “Was your nickname Baby forever? Because no one ever actually heard of a _‘Baby’._ People have heard of Finger Trigger and The Angel and The Phantom, but never Baby. Why’s that?”

Akaashi laughed, “Baby was my nickname for a long time. Eventually I earned a _real_ nickname, but the close ones still called me Baby.”

“What was it?”

He met her eye steadily, “The Executioner.”

“No one’s ever talked about The Executioner, either.”

“No one lived to talk about the Executioner. I taught my name by example, and once you learned it there was no time to use it.”

She broke eye contact swiftly and looked at her notes, “So, you think he gave you that in at the casino and your promotion simply because he wanted you to like him?”

Akaashi toyed with the lid of his water bottle and shrugged. She stared at him as he thought for a long while.

“The thing about memory is it’s strange. After a certain point ya don’t really know what really happened— and I mean _really_ happened. And I don’t mean in the physical, I mean in the metaphorical. So, it’s like… I _know_ for a fact that Honey gave me part of his casino. And I _know_ he was trying to make somethin’ up to me. But I _think_ there was more to it than simply just… Wanting to make somethin’ up to me. More than just… _trustin’_ me.”

“What do you mean?”

“That was when everything _changed_ changed. Only it _changed_ in a way I do not feel liable to describe.”

“Could you maybe elaborate on that thought?”

“I just…” Akaashi sighed. “Soon. Let me tell ya about what happened next. I’ll let you infer however ya need to. How ‘bout that?”

“Sounds like a deal, Mr. Akaashi.”

* * *

Akaashi had spent quite the amount of time in the desert with Honey, and he stuck good on his promise to do better. No excess. No extra women. No extra drugs. No extra drink. He did well for the first two months they were there at the casino, simply overseeing and bookkeeping.

It was in the middle of their ninth week when Honey was called on. He hung up the phone and turned in his rolling chair to meet eyes with Akaashi, who slowly placed his pen down.

“Baby.”

“Kōtarō.”

“We’re going to New York.”

“Sure. In the mornin’?”

Honey slowly shook his head as he pursed his lips, “No. Right now.”

“Is… Everything alright?”

Honey shrugged, “The boys upstairs are a lil’ concerned.”

 _‘A lil’ concerned,’_ Akaashi thought. _‘That means terribly concerned.’_

“Oh?”

“That’s about all I can tell ya.”

“Understood.”

“Good.”

Akaashi did his work of packing their things while Honey did his work of arranging his sudden departure with his administration. Once both were done, they made their way to the back of the casino. Akaashi stared up at him, unsure if they were flying or driving.

Honey liked to drive if there was work along the way.

“C’mon,” Honey hit him in the arm and started off to the car.

Akaashi nodded and got in the passenger side. They drove off deep into the desert and Akaashi leaned forward and squinted as a small plane became visible.

“We’re flyin’?”

“Yes.”

“Why privately?”

“This trip is off the books. Don’t call anyone.”

“Sure.”

Akaashi watched Honey crouch through the small door of the even smaller plane. He let out a stabilizing breath and did the same, taking the seat directly across from Honey. Their suitcases pressed between their knees as the pilot readied the plane for takeoff.

Akaashi gripped the sides of his seat until his knuckles went white as the structure trembled around them. His breathing quickened and his skin flushed. Honey raised both eyebrows.

“Are ya _scared?”_

“No,” Akaashi snapped. “Of course I’m not.”

The way he glanced out the window told a different story. Honey laughed loudly before reaching into a compartment on the other side of the plane. He easily stretched his arm across the space and poured Akaashi a glass of scotch before handing it to him.

“Relax.”

Akaashi drank it all in two long swallows, getting another laugh from Honey. It did help in soothing his nerves. Honey then put a cigarette between his lips and lit it for him. Akaashi frowned at him as he pulled the smoke from his lips and exhaled. Honey continued leaning onto his knees and staring at Akaashi’s face. It felt like he wasn’t quite meeting his eye.

Akaashi’s frown only grew as Honey wrapped both his hands around Akaashi’s that still held the glass.

“What?”

“Are you alright?”

“Yes. We’ll be outta here eventually. Uh, hopefully.”

Honey laughed loudly, but didn’t move his hands. He kneaded his thumbs into Akaashi’s fingers.

“I want ya to have somethin’.”

Akaashi frowned even deeper as he pulled his hands away and removed a ring from his fingers. It was the one Akaashi had given him when he made his bones. The ring from Doi. Honey grabbed Akaashi’s cigarette hand, his left one, and slid the ring onto his thumb. Akaashi examined the gold ring and the family crest that’d been engraved in the top.

“Why’d ya gimme this?” He asked around his smoke.

“It’s yours. You earned it with Doi.”

“Then why’d ya take it to begin with?”

Honey shrugged, “Had to make sure you were ready.”

“Am I ready?”

“Ah, Baby. You’re a man now. You’ve done it all now.”

“It _all?”_

“Even just on our trip out here. Ya dusted someone, ya did casino skimmin’, ya drank, ya sang, ya smoked, _and_ ya got laid. What else makes a man?”

“I was married before. I don’t see how any of that really… Changed.”

“It isn’t the first woman that makes ya a man. It’s the second woman that makes ya forget about the first one that makes ya a man.”

“Who said that was the first and second woman?” Akaashi glared.

“Please,” Honey scoffed as he lit his own cigarette. “You couldn’t have been _anything_ but a fuckin’ virgin the way you fell for Laura. Only men with no experience would’ve fallen for that lil’ trick.”

Akaashi shifted his glare back to his glass, “So, what? I get laid and I get a fuckin’ ring?”

“You’re a good man. That’s all. Accept the gift.”

“It’s on my finger, isn’t it?”

Honey crossed his ankle over his knee as he stared at him and his voice lowered, “Listen to me for a second.”

“What?”

“When we get to New York, what happens to you is out of my control.”

Akaashi furrowed his brow as his blood ran cold, “What?”

“It’s above me. Do you understand?”

“I do _not_ understand.”

“You need to understand.”

“What’s happening to me in New York?”

Honey shook his head and ashed his cigarette, “I don’t know.”

“You _know.”_

“I really _don’t,_ Baby. You were asked for by name. That’s all I know.”

“By who? Why?”

Honey sighed loudly, “The boys upstairs.”

_“What boys?”_

“Ya know, upstairs.”

“Rintarō?”

“No, no. Not Rintarō.”

“Then _who?”_

Honey gave him a look that told him to stop talking. He did so. 

“You’re not about to die, I don’t think.”

_“Then why would you word it like that?”_

“Because it’s possible. Play your cards well.”

Akaashi sighed and sat back with a frown as he stared out the window. Suddenly flying wasn’t as scary.

Honey held the door open for Akaashi. He didn’t recognize where they were. He didn’t recognize the three people they saw from the door all the way to the office he was being led to. All he knew was he was a little concerned. His eyes immediately locked onto Smokey who sat across from a man he didn’t recognize.

“Hey, Baby,” Smokey drawled and gestured to the middle chair.

“Tetsurō,” Akaashi breathed as he sat and Honey took the chair next to his.

The man before him wore a deep burgundy suit and his salt and pepper hair was slicked firmly back on his head. He was a bigger man, wrinkled. He had a burning cigar hanging from his thick fingers, between his copious rings. He was older, but not terribly old. Probably around his mid sixties.

“So _you’re_ Baby,” he said.

Akaashi nodded and shook his hand, “Akaashi, sir.”

“I’m Yasufumi Nekomata.”

“A pleasure, sir.”

“Sure. I have quite the grievance with you, Baby.”

Akaashi did his best to keep his expression even, “Oh?”

“The only reason you’re able to sit in my office right now is because of the friends you have right there. Right beside you. Do you know how good of friends you have?”

“Yes, sir.”

“I don’t think you do.”

Akaashi glanced at Smokey, who continued staring forward, then to Honey who did the same.

“Sir.”

“But these men swear by you, but I still have my doubts. I have something I need you to do.”

Akaashi nodded slightly.

“You know my daughter Maryann, yeah?”

Akaashi tried not to furrow his brow, “Yes. I mean, I didn’t know she's your daughter, but yes, I know her. Amazing woman.”

“I’m aware. I raised her. Her word is what got your ass in that chair. I trust her entirely.”

“What do you need from me?”

Nekomata sighed and sat back as he placed his cigar in its tray, “See, I have _another_ daughter. Dottie. Now, much like Maryann, _she_ chose a complete loser.”

Akaashi glanced vaguely at Honey, who was leaning on the arm of the chair with his hand covering his mouth.

“At least _Dottie_ didn’t _marry_ her loser. Not yet, anyway. My girl came home with _very_ concerning marks last time she came back from her rendezvous with her loser in Chicago.”

 _‘Very concerning,’_ Akaashi thought. _‘That means terrifying.’_

“So I’m gonna need you to drive her on over to Chicago. Don’t tell her who exactly you are. Just a friend of her brother-in-law. And you’re gonna observe them. If he _is_ the cause of these… _very_ concerning markings, then I think you know what I want from you.”

Smokey shifted in his seat, “I don’t think Dottie wi—“

All it took to stop him mid-word was for Nekomata to lift his hand a fraction of an inch off the desk. He never looked away from Akaashi.

“You do this for me and the rest of it is ancient history, okay? Fresh start for you. Thoughts?”

“Fresh start?” Akaashi breathed.

“C’mon, Baby. You know the thumb never fully came off your neck. I mean it when I say you have _really_ good friends.”

Akaashi nodded, “It’d be an honor to take your daughter out to Chicago. Even more so to pop a bad man like a zit.”

“That’s what I like to hear. You leave in three days. I’ll be in touch.”

“Thank you, sir.”

Honey shifted in his seat, “Is that all?”

Nekomata shifted his gaze to him, his eyes growing cold as they went, “Excuse me?”

“Ah,” Honey chuckled awkwardly, “It’s just… Is there a reason I’m here?”

_“Because I fuckin’ told ya to be, boy.”_

“Right, right.”

Nekoma sighed and picked his cigar back up. He spoke again after a few puffs and a long stretch of tense silence.

“Word is Angelo Provenzano is in town.”

Honey’s face immediately crumbled into anger, “That so?”

“That’s so.”

“Where in town?”

“Vinegar Hill.”

 _“That so?”_ Honey strained.

“That’s so.”

“Not for long,” Honey stood harshly and put his hand to his gun in his waistband.

Nekomata laughed as he sat back, “Use your brain.”

“I _always_ use my brain,” Honey muttered as he threw the door open. “Mostly.”

They all watched him storm away before Nekomata laughed again and Smokey shook his head.

“Mostly bein’ the keyword there,” Smokey muttered.

“At least he’s becomin’ self aware,” Nekomata muttered. “Alright. Get outta my office.”

They quickly departed and once they were back at the street, Akaashi realized his ride had disappeared. He sighed and turned to Smokey as he got in his car.

“Hey, can I come with ya?”

“Sure. It’s my girl’s birthday.”

Akaashi smiled widely as he got into the passenger seat and they each lit a cigarette.

“Which girl?” He asked as they pulled away.

“Dina. She’s turnin’ nine.”

Akaashi laughed loudly as he cranked the window down, “Ya have a _nine year old daughter._ When’s _your_ birthday? I wanna be there for the big five oh. Not every day your zio turns half a _century old.”_

“Ah, shut your fuckin’ mouth. I just turned thirty one. And you _knew that.”_

“I sure did,” Akaashi smiled out at the passing scenery.

They rode on in the company of the radio. Akaashi eagerly jumped out of the car when they got to his house and waited for Smokey to go in first. He smiled wider as the girls all ran to the door and attached themselves to Smokey before he could so much as take his hat off.

“Dad! I wanna show you what I made at school.”

“Go _away!_ I wanna tell him about my _bike!”_

“No, it’s _my birthday!_ I wann—“

“Okay, okay, okay,” he shook his legs clean of the children. “I’ll be right there.”

The girls didn’t give up at pulling on him until Maryann retreated from the kitchen in her apron to pull them back.

“C’mon, let your dad get his coat off. Come on, both of you. The babies are still in there, we can’t leave ‘em alone too long, let’s go.”

The girls reluctantly took one of her hands each and stared over their shoulders at Smokey as they were led back around the corner. Smokey smiled at Akaashi and Akaashi smiled back as they hung their coats on the rack.

Akaashi bounced behind Smokey on the way to the kitchen and the elder man sat heavily at the table, right next to the baby in the high chair, where the girls eagerly waited.

“Alright, Pina, whaddya wanna show me from school?”

She smiled largely with a paper tightly in her clutches, “It’s _Dina.”_

“Yeah, Nina, that’s what I said.”

“Dad, it’s _Dina!”_

“Okay, Rina, then.”

_“Dad!”_

Smokey laughed loudly and reached out to take the paper from her, “Okay, okay, _Dina._ Let’s see what the birthday girl’s got for me.”

Akaashi took the seat next to him and leaned over to see the pencil crayon drawing of their family. Maryann stood next to a blonde woman and Smokey himself, then there was Dina, her full sister, then her two baby half sisters. Smokey wore a blue suit, a hat, held a briefcase and smoked a cigarette in the drawing. Akaashi shifted his gaze to Smokey’s tight grip on the picture that threatened to ruin it. Then, he looked at his tight lipped smile. Smokey cleared his throat and looked back at his expectant daughter before handing it back.

“Very nice, Dina.”

“No, I made it _for_ you!”

“Well, _thank you,”_ he said as he stood and placed it on the fridge under a magnet. “Ya know, it’s _your_ birthday. I’m supposed to get _you_ somethin’.”

“You _did_ get me something, didn’t you?” She laughed.

 _“Obviously_ I got you somethin’,” he said as he sat again. “After dinner.”

“Okay!”

“Whaddya wanna tell me about your bike, Beatrice?”

The second girl with significantly darker hair than her sister perked up, “I don’t need my training wheels anymore!”

He sat forward with wide eyes as he knocked on the table, “You’re _kidding!_ At least I still have _two_ babies, since you two can’t stop growin’!”

Akaashi beamed as the girls shared a proud smile of their own. They made their way easily through dinner and were about to sing happy birthday when the phone rang. Maryann glanced at it before replacing the lid on her lighter and answering it. She crossed one arm over her chest and cocked her hip.

“Hullo? — Oh, _you._ What do you want? — Baby? Who’s Baby? — Oh. Yes, he’s here. — I suppose so. It’s Dina’s birthday. — Yes. — Uh huh. — Okay. Buh-bye.”

She hung the phone back in the cradle and went back to light the candles. Smokey watched her the entire way.

“Who was that?”

She paused, “Kōtarō.”

“Oh, yeah? He stoppin’ by?”

“Yep.”

“Cool.”

They sang happy birthday to a blushing Dina and she blew the candles out, then made a wish. Maryann cut into it and distributed the dessert to everyone. Akaashi had to stop himself from _moaning_ at the rich chocolate. Maryann was an excellent baker.

They’d just moved into the living room and were a quarter of the way into _Space Oddity_ when the door opened and shut loudly. Akaashi glanced at Maryann who rolled her eyes as Smokey stood and moved out to meet Honey with the older baby in his arms. The newest baby laid in the bassinet at the far end of the room. Akaashi watched the girls play as he and Maryann lit their cigarettes and Honey and Smokey had a hushed conversation before Honey pushed loudly into the room, singing along with Bowie.

_“This is Major Tom to Ground Control! I'm stepping through the door!”_

Akaashi beamed as the girls took flight and ran to him, wrapping themselves around his legs as he held his coat in one hand and his hat in the other. Akaashi couldn’t help but notice he wore an entirely different suit and shoes, and his hair was still damp as though he just showered.

“Zio Kō!”

He danced them around on his legs, “ _And I'm floating in a most peculiar way!”_ He slapped his hat on Dina’s head as he continued walking them around, _“And the stars look very different today!”_

Honey’s voice turned to molasses when he sang. Deeper, darker and smoother than honey.

He threw his coat to Smokey who hung it up before returning. Honey pretended to smell the air.

“Is that… It _can’t be.”_

Dina and Beatrice stepped away from him to stare up confusedly. Dina pushed his hat out of her eyes as he turned in a confused circle.

“Is that _birthday cake_ I’m smelling? But there’s no _birthday_ happenin’ in here!”

Dina beamed, “It’s _my_ birthday, Zio!”

He pretended to step back in surprise and furrowed his brow at her, _“Your_ birthday? That can’t be right. You just _had_ a birthday last year!”

Dina laughed and leaned into him, “They happen _every_ year!”

“You don’t say,” he tapped his chin. “I guess that explains why I gotcha somethin’.”

Dina joined her hands together in front of her chest and bounced slightly as he reached into his pocket. Akaashi glanced at Maryann who smoked with one elbow up on the arm of her chair and watched Honey with the smallest smile as he interacted with the child. Honey handed her a small plush toy dog. She beamed at it as she took it and he kneeled in front of her.

“I think there’s somethin’ in its lil’ paws, too,” he whispered.

She glanced up at him before taking out a twenty dollar bill and gaped at it. She hugged him tightly and he laughed as he held her tight with closed eyes. When she pulled away, he looked at Beatrice.

“I didn’t forget about you, get over here.”

She beamed and got up from the couch and approached the kneeling man. He pretended to check his pockets and frowned.

“Oh, dear. I _swear_ I broughtcha somethin’, Bea. It was right in this poc—“ He squinted at her and leaned forward before pretending to pull a piece of taffy wrapped in wax paper from behind her ear. “Oh, silly me. There it is.”

She laughed as she took it from him. He then removed three more from his pocket and placed them in both of her palms before patting her on the side of the head and standing again.

“Girls, whaddya say to zio?” Smokey asked from where he leaned in the doorway.

“Thank you,” they called as they were preoccupied over who got what color of taffy.

Honey laughed loudly before seeing Akaashi’s cigarette, “Hey, ya really shouldn’t smoke around the kids.”

Akaashi glanced at him with wide eyes, “Oh, right. I—“

“Leave him alone, Kōtarō,” Maryann said as she took a drag of her own cigarette. “Not your house. You don’t make the rules.”

Honey raised his hands, “Sorry, Mary.”

“It’s Maryann.”

“Annie, then.”

_“Maryann.”_

Honey sat heavily beside Akaashi on the couch, “Marceline. My bad. I know it, I promise.”

Akaashi sunk back slightly at the very tense version of the cute scene from only over an hour earlier.

“Anyway, I’m not stayin’ long,” Honey said as he draped his arms over the back of the couch. His fingers grazed the back of Akaashi’s neck as they went. “We’re runnin’ on empty here.”

“Yeah, we didn’t get any sleep last night,” Akaashi agreed.

Maryann glanced at them, “You talk to my dad, Keiji?”

Akaashi nodded, “Looks like I’m takin’ your sister to Chicago.”

“Yeah?” She stubbed her cigarette out. “Are ya _meetin’_ with her man?”

“It sounds that way.”

“Careful. He’s horrendous. Has a nickname, too.”

“Oh, yeah?”

She glanced at the preoccupied children, “Yeah. It’s like a toothpick, if teeth were ice.”

“So I see,” Akaashi nodded before putting his own cigarette out. “I’m not terribly worried.”

“No? It’s a pretty severe nickname compared to Baby. No offense.”

Honey laughed and smacked Akaashi in the side of the head, “He’s no baby anymore. Shoulda seen ‘im out in the meadows.”

“The meadows,” Maryann shook her head and looked to Smokey for an answer.

“Vegas,” Smokey said.

“Ah, I never liked Vegas—“

Akaashi took the opportunity to speak to Honey while they were busy with their own conversation. He lowered his voice to a whisper and Honey leaned his head in to hear him.

“Hey, teach me how to drive.”

Honey furrowed his brow and stared at him in shock, “Teach ya fuckin’ _what?”_

“Sh. Keep your voice down. Teach me how to drive.”

_“You don’t know how to drive? Who doesn’t know how to drive?”_

Akaashi stared around the then still room. Only the soft sound of the record player kept them from ear breaking silence. His cheeks quickly flooded with blood. Maryann laughed loudly.

“I see why they call ya Baby.”

His cheeks only got redder as she continued her conversation with Smokey.

“Seriously,” he turned back to Honey. “Teach me.”

“You can’t learn in _three days,_ Baby. Why would you agree to _drive to Chicago_ if ya can’t _drive?”_

Akaashi’s whisper turned harsh, “You _heard him._ Fresh start. Thumb _gone._ Help me out, here.”

“Sorry, Baby. Not my problem. I wanna go home and sleep.”

Akaashi glared at him, “C’mon, I thought I’m _‘your boy’._ Teach me how to drive.”

“No, thanks!” Honey stood and said his goodbyes.

Akaashi glared after him and quickly followed along after him before he could leave. Once the children were off him and he was alone in the doorway with his hat and coat, Akaashi cornered him.

“C’mon, please teach me.”

“No.”

“Why?”

“‘Cause I said no.”

 _“Why_ are you saying no?”

“‘Cause I did.”

Akaashi grabbed him by the arm as he reached for the doorknob, “C’mon, Honey, teach me.”

Akaashi smiled as his hand faltered on the metal, but immediately frowned at his retort.

“The _fuck you just call me?”_

Akaashi retracted his hand as Honey turned to stare at him incredulously.

“Ah, uh.”

 _“Honey?_ You some kinda fairy or somethin’, Baby?”

Akaashi shook his head and held his hands up, “No, no, it's just— Back before I knew your name. It’s like— Ya know, your eyes, and that. Just… Just a name. No disrespect. No fairy. Ju—“

Honey shocked him to his core when he laughed, “Shuddup, idiot. Let’s go.”

“You’re gonna teach me?”

“Hurry up or I’ll change my mind.”

Akaashi perked up and rushed through his goodbyes and thank yous before throwing his coat on and running to meet Honey outside. For the first time in his life, he walked around to the driver’s side and got in. Honey reluctantly sat beside him and dangled the keys out. Akaashi went to reach for them, but Honey pulled them just out of reach.

“Don’t crash my car.”

Akaashi reached for the keys again, “That’s the goal.”

Honey retracted again, “And don’t… Don’t hit any pedestrians.”

Akaashi reached again, “I won’t.”

Honey hid the keys in his fist, “And for the love of god, don’t stall my car. You hurt this car and I hurt you twice as bad.”

“It’s _fine,_ really. I won’t fuck it up. But I can’t _do that_ if you don’t gimme the keys.”

“Yeah,” Honey sighed as he reluctantly let the keys go, “Yeah, there’s lots you can’t do if I don’t give ya the keys.”

Akaashi was about to put the keys in the ignition when Honey stopped him. He sighed exasperatedly when Honey went into a new lecture.

“Don’t get pulled over. If we pass a cop, act naturally. I am _not_ goin’ to school ‘cause you’re a fuckin’ idiot who doesn’t know how to drive.”

 _“I won’t get pulled over._ No one’s goin’ to school. Okay? Can I start the fuckin’ car now?”

Honey squinted at him for a moment before sitting straight and nodding once. Akaashi nodded along and turned back before taking a deep breath. He slowly turned the keys and _nothing happened._ Nothing at all. Akaashi frowned and looked down to the keys, confused. He looked up at Honey who was staring at him like he grew five heads.

“It isn’t working.”

“Are you _fuckin’ kiddin’ me?_ Seriously. Tell me you’re joking.”

“No?” Akaashi sat back, fear growing in him. Had he seriously broken the _entire_ car before even starting it?

“You…” Honey ran his hands down his face. “You gotta hit the fuckin’ clutch, kid.” 

Akaashi’s cheeks grew red, “What’s the clutch?”

“Holy shit. Really?”

“Yes!”

“The pedal on your left, stupid. Use your left foot and press it all the way in, put your other foot on the break.”

Akaashi did so and Honey pointed to the gear shift. Akaashi raised his eyebrows at it.

“Oh, my god. Put it in neutral.”

“Neutral?”

_“The middle.”_

Akaashi grabbed the gear shift and moved it to the centre.

“Take the fuckin’ ebrake off.”

“Ebrake…”

Honey rolled his eyes and reached to the emergency brake before pushing it back down, “Start the fuckin’ car. Keep your _goddamn foot on the fuckin’ brake. And the clutch.”_

Akaashi gulped and nodded, turning the keys. He smiled as the engine turned over and roared to life. Honey turned the radio off immediately. He sighed and draped his arm behind Akaashi as he leaned over.

“Okay, so move into first.”

“First?”

“As in _gear,_ Baby.”

Akaashi moved his hand off the gear shift but found absolutely no indication of where first gear would be. Honey took his right hand and reached over.

“All the way left and up.”

“Right.”

“Take your foot off the clutch _slowly,_ do not stall my car. Press on the gas while ya do that, and steer away from the curb.”

“Okay,” Akaashi breathed and did as he was told.

Honey watched everything closely. His feet, the wheel, the gearshift, the RPMs and his speed, all the while staring at the road. They made it exactly four driveways down when Honey spoke again with a shockingly soft voice.

“You’re gonna wanna switch gears soon.”

“When?”

“When you hit three.”

“Three what?”

Honey knocked the RPM meter with his knuckle, “Three of those.”

“Okay, to what gear?”

“Second.”

“Where’s that?”

“Directly down.”

“Okay.”

Honey leaned over and cranked his window down. He waited a bit longer before leaning and knocking the dashboard with his knuckle again.

“Oh, right.”

“Make sure you press on the clutch as you do it. Take your foot off the gas. Not completely. On the clutch. Good. All the way down. Now shift the gears. Yeah. Then slowly take your foot off the clutch but press a bit on the gas while you do that. Not much. Awe—“

Honey held his hand out to catch himself on the dash as Akaashi accidentally accelerated too quickly. He sat back and lit a cigarette before huffing the smoke out.

“You’re gonna send me to an early grave, Baby.”

Akaashi laughed, absolutely ecstatic, “Sorry.”

“It’s fine. Remember how the engine sounded when ya shifted gears? Just before, I mean. Fast? Loud?”

“Yeah?”

“That’s how ya know it’s time.”

“I thought you know because of the numbers.”

“Ya, I mean when ya get good.”

They drove for a bit longer without any instruction from Honey, when the engine began shuddering dangerously. Honey moved his hand over Akaashi’s on the gear shift.

“Clutch.”

Akaashi pressed down on it and took his foot slightly off the break as Honey moved his hand up, over and up again.

“Third. Unclutch.”

Akaashi pressed slightly on the gas as he slowly released the clutch again. They still lurched forward but it was less severe. They drove for a while like that. Honey kept his hand over his as he gave soft spoken directions and Akaashi followed them to the best of his ability. They were on an empty highway when things got sticky.

 _“Shit._ It’s fine. You’re doin’ fine. Keep doin’ what you’re doin’,” Honey breathed.

He pulled his hat slightly down to hide his eyes from the passing cop. Akaashi held his breath as they went, only releasing it when the cop was behind them. Honey put his arm back over the seat as he turned to look.

_“Fuck.”_

Akaashi checked the rearview mirror and cursed as he saw the cop pull a u-turn and follow behind them at a distance. Honey sat forward again and ripped the glovebox open, moving his drugs and spare gun to under his seat. He glanced at Akaashi.

“You have your friend on ya?”

“In my pocket.”

“Good, keep it there.”

“I thought we don’t shoot cops?”

“We do if we’re on an empty highway and that’s what stands between us and jail, Baby. Not exactly like you’re a getaway driver yet. It’s fine. We’ll call it by ear.”

“I mean, he hasn’t pu—“ Akaashi’s words died on his tongue as the cop put his lights on.

Honey sighed heavily and talked him through slowing down, pulling over and stopping. They waited in silence as the cop took his sweet time approaching the vehicle. Once he finally did, he rapped on the window with his knuckle. Akaashi cranked the window down and the young cop leaned down with his arms on the roof of the car.

“Evenin’, gentlemen. How are we today?”

“Great,” Honey spoke before Akaashi could. “Yourself?”

“Doin’ well, thanks. Seemed to be havin’ a rough go of it, huh?”

Honey laughed the fakest laugh Akaashi had ever heard from him, but surely to an outsider it sounded as real as could be. He hit Akaashi on the back.

“Learnin’. Imagine?”

The cop chuckled along, “Sure. Ya know ya can’t be out on the highway until ya have your full permit, huh? Can I take a peek at your license and registration, please?”

Akaashi looked at Honey, who had his hand in his pocket, likely on his gun. His suspicions were confirmed as he barely saw the butt of it before it was promptly returned to its home in his suit in its entirety. Honey leaned further into Akaashi’s side as he squinted at the cop’s name tag.

“Tyler Sawamura, huh? Who’s your old man, kid?”

The cop furrowed his brow, “Daichi. What’s it to ya?”

“How do ya feel about your old man, Tyler?”

“Respect the hell outta ‘im. How about those papers now?”

Honey easily removed his own license from his wallet and then retrieved the registration papers from the glovebox before handing them to Akaashi to hand to Tyler. Akaashi vaguely noticed the fifty dollar note between the license and the papers.

“Good, good. Gotta respect your dad.”

“Yeah, sure. I need _his_ license, too,” Tyler pointed at Akaashi.

“Take a better look, there. I think you’ll find whatcha need,” Honey said as he slid his wallet right in with his gun.

Tyler frowned as he noticed the money and Akaashi’s heart began hammering. Honey didn’t seem concerned, though. Or, at least his voice didn’t as he continued speaking.

“Your dad and I go way back. He’s a friend of mine. Ya have a phone in that car of yours?”

“‘Course I do. Policy.”

“Sure. Why don’t you take a walk and call your dad up? Then come back and tell me what ya think when you gimme my papers.”

Tyler furrowed his brow but nodded and did as he was told. Once he was out of earshot, Akaashi turned to Honey.

“Who is Daichi?”

“The lawyer.”

“What lawyer?”

 _“The_ lawyer, Baby. No one ever goes to school when he’s involved. And if they do, they barely see the inside of the walls before they’re out again.”

“I see.”

Honey held his cigarettes out to Akaashi before lighting his own, “Smoke?”

“God, yes,” Akaashi took one and lit it.

Once their cigarettes were almost gone, Tyler returned. He leaned back in the window and passed the papers back in.

“What’d ya learn?”

“We seem to be in good shape here,” Tyler nodded.

“Ya? What’d he say?”

“Said you’re a great man,” Tyler said. “He also said I’d need to take another look at your license.”

Honey huffed and rolled his eyes as he took his wallet back out, “He _would_ say that.”

Akaashi passed the money wrapped plastic over to Tyler, then the solitary plastic back to Honey.

“We good here?” Honey asked as he put his wallet back to sleep beside his gun.

“Yeah, we’re good,” Tyler smacked the hood of the car. “Happy learnin’.”

Akaashi watched him go in the mirror and they waited until he was a mere speck in the distance. Honey huffed and sat straight again.

“Fuckin’ pigs.”

“Sounded like you liked his dad, though.”

“Of _course_ I like his dad. Stand up guy and all that. Just can’t believe he raised a fuckin’ narc.”

“Narc? He let us go, though.”

“Yeah, I guess. We doin’ this or not?”

Akaashi beamed, “You’re gonna keep lettin’ me drive?”

“Sure. You were doin’ fine. Besides, if you’re gonna learn in three days ya better practice.”

“Wow, okay!”

Akaashi pressed the clutch and brake and took the emergency break off before moving the gear shift to neutral. He turned the keys and smiled at the roar of the engine. He shifted into first gear, but took his foot off the clutch far too quickly. The engine sputtered and shuddered and Akaashi held his hands up in panic. He refused to look at Honey out of fear of what he’d do to him. Only, no yelling or lecture came. There was only the sound of a flicking lighter to accompany the sound of the struggling vehicle.

“Turn it off and on again.”

Akaashi furrowed his brow as he went through all the motions again, only that time he took his foot off the clutch as instructed, and they were off. He smiled up to Honey, who met his eye only for a fraction of a second before watching out the window with no discernible expression on his face. Akaashi frowned slightly and went back to watching the road.

“Stay with me tonight.”

Akaashi startled at the sudden sound of his voice. They’d fallen into a steady rhythm of Honey dragging his hand around over the gearshift and only muttering the occasional direction and the more frequent smoking of cigarettes. He blinked at Honey, but he wasn’t looking back.

“Stay with you?”

“Yeah. For the night.”

“Why?”

Honey shrugged, “Big house is lonely at night.”

“Oh, right. I forgot about that.”

“Yeah. Makes one of us.”

Akaashi pursed his lips at the dark highway, “Why, though? Don’t you have a comare who could just… Ya know, do what she does?”

“The idea is to feel _less_ lonely, Baby. Not more.”

Akaashi frowned, “I see.”

“Is that a no?”

“Thought I can’t say no to you?”

Honey laughed ironically as he lit a cigarette, “You say no to me all the time. C’mon now.”

Akaashi frowned further as he glanced at the man beside him before really feeling the highway beneath the car and the steering wheel beneath his hands.

“Okay.”

“Okay what?”

“Okay, I’ll stay with you. Tonight.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. _If_ we can finally put the radio on.”

“Sure,” Honey said as he leaned over to do just that.

They rode back into the city, bopping along to the radio. Akaashi stalled the car a couple more times along the way, but Honey wasn’t as pressed as he promised he’d be. They were just about at Honey’s house when _Pink Floyd_ came on the radio.

“Yes!” Akaashi cheered at the same time Honey groaned. Akaashi slapped the steering wheel and glared at him.

“I’m sorry, _excuse me?”_

“What?”

“Did you just _groan_ because _Money_ came on the radio?”

_“Yes.”_

_“Fuckin’ why?”_

Honey lit a new cigarette and gestured with his hand as he sputtered, “Because! They’re just bustin’ in here tryna— Tryna— _Fuckin’ brake when you see red lights on the back of the other cars, Baby._ They’re tryna change _music,_ or some shit. It’s _horrible._ It's like— _Baby. Holy fuck._ Eyes on the fuckin’ _road._ They think they’re the Beatles or somethin’ and ya know what I think of _‘em.”_

“Yeah, you don’t like them either, huh?”

 _“They said they’re bigger than Jesus!_ Who _says_ that? I mean, really! Who’s bigger than _Jesus?”_

“The Beatles, apparently,” Akaashi muttered.

 _“Apparently,”_ Honey huffed out his smoke. “I’m tellin’ ya. All these fuckin’ English kids comin’ over here with their fuckin’ _young turk_ attitudes. I’m _sickuvit._ One of these days these _Pink Floyd assholes_ are gonna come out here and say _‘If Lennon is bigger than Jesus then we’re bigger than ‘im!’._ Mark my words, Baby.”

“Consider them marked.”

“Good. Fuckin’ dickheads. All of ‘em.”

“I know, Honey.”

Akaashi frowned and paused as the nickname slipped again, but Honey didn’t comment. He risked a peek, but the man was just back to watching the streetlights pass as he smoked his smoke.

“Hey,” Akaashi said, a smile playing at his lips.

“Huh?”

“Ya know how ya know you’re gettin’ old?”

Honey looked at him, “How's that?”

“When ya start hatin’ all new music.”

Honey glared harshly before slowly sinking into a smile, “Shut the fuck up, wiseguy.”

Akaashi stood in his pajamas in Honey’s kitchen. They both ripped two lines of cocaine each before staring at each other for a moment, then clinked their glasses of scotch together.

“To divorce,” Honey muttered.

“I hear ya,” Akaashi muttered before they drank.

They made their way out to the extravagant living area and took a leather armchair each. Akaashi just sat when Honey asked him to put a Cohen record on. He did as he was told, and carefully dropped the needle onto the vinyl before sitting again. The opening notes to an unfamiliar song came on.

_‘I heard there was a secret chord, that David played and it pleased the Lord, but you don’t really care for music, do ya?’_

Akaashi looked to Honey who laid back in the chair with his eyes shut, “What is this song?”

“Hallelujah.”

“I’ve never heard you play it.”

Honey sighed and stood before moving the needle further into the record, “You certainly have not.”

“How come?”

Honey shrugged and moved back to his chair, “You don’t like hearin’ _Strangers In The Dark.”_

“Oh, it was your wedding song?”

“Yep.”

“Anna?”

“No.”

“Maryann?”

“Uh huh.”

Akaashi sat back and they both took a drink of their scotch. Honey went back to closing his eyes.

“Tell me about it.”

“What?”

“Maryann.”

“What about her? You _know_ her.”

“Yeah, I know her _now._ Tell me about then.”

Honey gave him a long suffering stare, “C’mon, Baby. Don’t do this.”

Akaashi curled his legs up on the chair and faced him more fully, “Just tell me, Honey.”

Honey sighed and looked forward again before finishing his scotch, “Fine.”

Akaashi took the cigarette that was offered to him before lighting it and leaning against the cool leather of the chair. Honey toyed with his filter as he spoke.

“I married her back in ‘66. I was eighteen. I fuckin’ loved her. But I was eighteen. Younger. Stupider. I didn’t cherish her the way I should’ve.”

“How old was she?”

“Uh,” Honey thought. “‘49... ‘66... Woulda made her seventeen.”

“You couldn’t remember there’s a _one year_ age difference between you? But you could remember the year she was born?”

“Fuck off, I’m flyin’.”

Akaashi laughed, “Okay. Then what happened?”

“That’s it.”

“That wasn’t _it._ Come _on.”_

 _“Fine!”_ Honey pulled his smoke in and out of his mouth. “She wasn’t _born,_ by the way. She was hand crafted by angels and somehow stumbled on down to earth.”

“How do you go from _that_ to pretending not to know her name?”

“Stupidity? Makes it hurt less to see her face.”

“I see.”

“She’s exactly the kinda woman men like us need. Knows what she needs to, blind to the rest. Keeps her mouth shut when she knows that’s best, but when she opens it ya know it’s gonna be good. At least, that was how I knew her. She really… She really— at least _was_ the _perfect_ woman. Great ass, too.”

Akaashi snorted through his nose, “Yeah?”

“Yeah. Really dropped the ball on that one, but I didn’t know all the things I know now. Like I told ya, lots of lessons to learn when you’re so young.”

“What happened, then?”

“Ah,” Honey waved his hand dismissively. “The regular. I was a real sonuvabitch.”

“How, though?”

Honey put his cigarette out and Akaashi did the same before he tapped the ashtray table nervously, “Alright. Never breathe a word of this. I’m trustin’ ya.”

“Yeah, yeah, of course. Not a word. Got it.”

Honey searched his eyes for a moment before looking to the ceiling, “We were tryna have a kid. It just wasn’t working, ya know, until it did. We did the whole tellin’ everyone of it all. Her…” He smiled sadly to the ceiling. “Her, uh, dad cried. It was really… It was really beautiful.”

“Oh,” Akaashi frowned— Honey didn’t _have_ any kids.

“Yeah. That night it happened… It, uh, it wasn’t pretty, Baby. I’ll spare ya the details, but… Sometimes a marriage doesn’t survive somethin’ like that.”

“Did you divorce right after?”

“Nah. A year after. I cheated, she cheated, we fought. She hit me, I hit her. What kinda man does somethin’ like that? I only did it when she stole my gun, but hey. Who could blame her? It got real bad. Got heavy on the china white, if ya know what I mean. Talk about flyin’.”

“Heroin?”

“Uh huh. A real junkie. It took her dad stickin’ a gun in my face out off the turnpike to get me to see again.”

“Why’d he do that? ‘Cause you hit her?”

Honey looked over with glassy eyes, “Huh? Oh. No. I don’t think she ever told anyone about that. She pulled a gun on me. I don’t think she wants people knowin’ about that, either.”

“Then why’d he pull a gun on you?”

“Lots of reasons. I was outta my fuckin’ mind. Threatened the family the way I was operatin’. But I think what _really_ did it in was when I just about blew Kuroo’s face in.”

_“What?”_

“Uh huh,” Honey looked away. “Found out he knocked my ex-wife up. My _brother._ But, _hey._ That’s life, huh? Now we have Frankie. Lil’ Francesca. Beautiful, ain’t she? Elena, too. Like their mom.”

“They are. And ya know… I understand the feelin’. Guess that’s why he took my gun before he told me about you.”

“Yeah, I’d have to imagine so.”

“If you knew how it felt then _why?”_

Honey squeezed his eyes shut before sighing and staring blankly forward, “Because I’m a stupid piece of shit, Keiji. That’s the _only answer I have.”_

Akaashi blinked at the use of his real name, “Oh.”

“Ya gotta be careful with those Nekomata girls. Since you’re takin’ Dottie out to Chicago. Don’t go fallin’ in love with her.”

Akaashi blinked slowly at him, “I’ll humor you. Why not?”

“I dunno. Nekomata girls are strong girls. Granted, I never knew Dottie well. She’s quite a bit younger than us— actually, probably around your age. Younger, though.”

“I’m not seeing the problem.”

Honey shrugged, “She wears pants.”

Akaashi squinted at him, “Ya lost me.”

Honey laughed slightly, “Ya know what they say about girls who wear pants.”

“What do they say about those girls?”

“They _wear the pants._ Ya know, make all the decisions. If ya aren’t careful, _you're_ the one at home with the kids at the teet and _she’s_ the one out there doin’ the business.”

Akaashi shook his head, “She wears pants so suddenly _you’re_ breastfeeding the babies?”

Honey laughed loudly, “Metaphorically.”

Akaashi chuckled, “I dunno ya know what a metaphor is. Ya know it isn’t the fifties anymore. Or even the sixties. Women can do business. Sometimes better than the men.”

“Ah,” Honey lifted a dismissive hand. “You and your _hippie_ shit.”

“The world is changin’, Honey. The future says female. Better get used to it.”

Honey pursed his lips and mulled over the words for a moment, “I guess that doesn’t have to be so bad. Don’t go fallin’ in love with her, though.”

“Not terribly eager to get a new wife for you to sleep with, anyway,” Akaashi laughed. “Though, she _would_ be a safe choice. Hypothetically speakin’. You wouldn’t go fuckin’ around with your boss’ girl.”

“Didn’t stop Kuroo.”

Akaashi stared at him for an agonizing moment before Honey realized what he said and snapped his head up.

“No, I wouldn’t— Not after… What happened.”

“I hope not.”

They sat in the silence of Leonard Cohen for a while before Honey slid over on his seat and gestured for Akaashi to go to him. Akaashi blinked confusedly.

“What?”

“C’mere,” Honey gestured again.

“On your _lap?”_

“Beside me.”

“Isn’t that—“

“Sh. C’mere.”

Akaashi reluctantly stood and sat on the arm of the chair. He gasped when Honey dragged him roughly further onto the chair and into his side. His arm remained around the younger man as he held him tightly to himself. Akaashi’s heart hammered as Honey held him. Neither said anything for a long while.

Akaashi slowly adjusted his uncomfortable legs so they were more fully on the chair, which meant curling into Honey’s lap, but the man was showing no signs of releasing him. He tensed as Honey sighed harshly into his hair through his nose.

“I thought you thought _I’m_ the fairy.”

“Don’t read into it,” Honey muttered.

“Kinda hard not to.”

“Just don’t. Easy. Much easier to _not_ do somethin’ than to do it.”

Akaashi tensed up again just as his muscles relaxed when Honey pushed his hair out of his face, something he tended to do when he felt guilty about something. Akaashi closed his eyes against the feeling of fingers in his hair, but said nothing. He was admittedly rather lonely himself. Honey sighed again.

“You think too much. You’re a smart kid.”

“I was gonna go to college, ya know. Before you dragged me into this life instead.”

“Yeah? What for?”

“Business administration.”

“That so?”

“Uh huh. Woulda been the first of my family to graduate high school.”

“Well, this life feeds ya better than college ever would.”

“That’s true.”

Akaashi frowned as Honey squeezed him tight for a moment, “But I’m sorry, Baby. To take that life away from ya. It was this or death. And I couldn’t see ya die.”

“I know.”

Honey paused, “Do ya mind this life, though?”

Akaashi thought for a moment, feeling his warmth unlike any other, “No. I don’t think so. I think I may actually like it.”

“Yeah? More than the life you coulda had?”

“I never had that life, so I don’t know. But, probably.”

“That’s good.”

Akaashi looked up and Honey’s hand fell from his hair to his cheek as they locked eyes. The record died leaving only the loud ticking of the clock to fill the silence of the room. Akaashi slowly moved his hand to Honey’s chest as his weight became too awkward to support with only his core. Honey’s eyes grazed over his face for a moment, faltering over his lips for a fraction of a second too long before going back to his eyes. His hand fell from his cheek.

“Think you’ll get married again?”

Akaashi shrugged, “I’d like to think so.”

Honey hummed as he reached over for his cigarettes and Akaashi moved to sit back on the arm of the chair, putting his feet on the other arm. He allowed Honey to light his smoke for him after he lit his own.

“I’m excited for that day,” Honey puffed his smoke out.

“How come?”

“Really, I’m excited for when ya have kids.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. The world could use some more of ya. It’s a good thing when good people have good kids. Like Kuroo and Maryann. Quadruple the good.”

“Yeah, you’re right.”

Honey put his head back again and smiled, “And they’ll call me Zio Kō, too. And I’d die for them, just the same. Love ‘em like my own.”

“That’d be nice,” Akaashi smiled down at him, unused to the angle.

“It’d be _great.”_

“How great?”

“Greater than _Jesus,”_ Honey laughed. “More than that, even. Greater than _Lennon.”_

“What about greater than _Pink Floyd?”_

Honey peeked an eye open at him and took a drag of his cigarette around his smile, “Maybe not _that_ great.”

Akaashi laughed loudly, throwing his head back as he did so, “That’s a bit too great, huh?”

“Yeah. Nothin’ is greater than _those_ assholes.”

“How could I have been so naive?”

Honey smiled widely as he watched him laugh, “I dunno. Know your place, kid.”

“My bad, my bad,” Akaashi leaned onto his knees as he smoked, his laugh teetering off.

Honey pushed him away by the head, “Get outta here.”

Akaashi laughed again as he stood and looked down at him, “So _nothing_ is greater than Floyd?”

Honey stood and took a final drag of his cigarette before crushing it out, “Not until the next Englishman buys a guitar and hops on a flight to New York.”

Akaashi laughed and followed him with his eyes as he unscrewed a bottle of booze. Honey took a large swig right from the bottle before looking back at him. He smiled as he approached and took his head in both hands before placing a loud kiss to his hair.

“Love ya, kid. See ya tomorrow for drivin’ school.”

“Yeah?” Akaashi smiled as he walked away.

“Uh huh,” Honey drawled. “But if we get pulled over again I’m _lettin’_ ‘em take ya to _real_ school.”

“Deal!”

“Alright. Sleep wherever ya want. And if you’re feelin’ _real_ generous, shoot me while I’m sleepin’. Night, Baby.”

“Night, Honey.”

Honey glanced at him over his shoulder and snorted amusedly before disappearing around the corner. Akaashi’s smile fell when he became invisible and took a long drag of his cigarette before crushing it out.

* * *

The woman stared at him with very wide eyes and said nothing for a long, long time. Akaashi stared right back as he took a very long drink from his bottle. When the silence became unbearable, he spoke.

“Questions?”

“A million.”

“I don’t think I have the time for a _million,”_ he chuckled humorlessly.

“You’re _sure_ you’re remembering that correctly? I know you said memory is weird.”

“See, I remember _what_ happened. Just… I don’t know if I was interpreting it correctly. There’s been a lot of time to overthink it. But I don’t think I was exactly wrong in my thinking.”

“And what’d you think?”

“What do you think I thought?”

She frowned and spoke very deliberately, “I’m… Not sure.”

“There ya have it.”

“You cried when you spoke about Tetsurō’s family.”

“I always do.”

“Do you still talk to the kids?”

Akaashi shifted uncomfortably, “We’ll get there.”

“Sure.”

“Let me tell you about Dottie, then.”

“Dottie,” she breathed to her notes. “Nekomata’s daughter. Okay, before that, who _is_ Nekomata?”

“He was an underboss, as they were called. Below the _big boss,_ and above the capos like Honey and Smokey. Ya know how capos are sometimes called captains?”

She nodded.

“If capos are captains, then underbosses are the coaches, then the _big_ boss— Well, he’s the man that owns the whole damn league.”

“Ah, I see. And they were both married to his daughter at one point.”

“At one point. I never got a clear answer, but I gather that’s why both were capos at all.”

She nodded, “I see.”

“I really do think that Smokey woulda been one either way eventually, but I’m sure it didn’t hurt. Nekomata _loved_ the man. He did great work. But I take it that they became capos after marrying an underboss’ daughter, because that’s exactly what happened to me.”

“Oh, really? You married Dottie?”

“I sure did.”

“Did that one last?”

Akaashi held his left hand up and pointed to his ring the best he could, “Did it ever.”

The woman smiled, “That’s good to hear.”

Akaashi reached into his breast pocket with shaking hands and removed a stack of polaroids before thumbing through to the one he wanted and slid it over to the woman. She picked it up and examined it.

“That’s my kids with Honey.”

She nodded to the photo of Honey holding a tiny baby with a small girl, an older girl and an even older boy standing on either side of him. They all beamed to the camera, save for the baby who couldn’t smile yet and the older girl, who seemed to want to be anywhere but there.

“Four kids, huh? Blessed,” she said as he handed it back.

Akaashi smiled down at the four of them together, “Truly. Leo, Kathy, Cecilia and Antony.”

“Beautiful.”

“Yes,” he agreed.

“Why don’t you tell me about Dottie?”

Akaashi tore his eyes away from his children’s faces and nodded, “Okay.”

She glanced at her watch before frowning, “Actually. I think we better pick this up again tomorrow.”

Akaashi frowned as well, “Sure.”

He watched her pack her things up then shook her hand as she stood.

“Good to meet you, Mr. Akaashi. Bring more pictures tomorrow.”

He chuckled vaguely and lifted a tremoring hand, “Yeah, yeah, I will. If I make it that long.”

She laughed a bit as she walked out the door, “Don’t be ridiculous. You have tons of life left in you!”

A nurse entered promptly after her departure and pulled the brakes off of his wheelchair before turning him.

“Did you have a good chat, Keiji?”

“Hey,” he called. “Hey, my picture.”

The nurse frowned and turned to find the picture on the table before picking it up and handing it back. He stared down at it and she stared over his shoulder.

“Who’s that?”

“My kids.”

“Oh, yeah? I see Leo, but I don’t know the others. What are their names?”

“Kathy,” he pointed as she wheeled him, then moved to his younger daughter and infant son, “Cecilia, Antony.”

She smiled as she leaned in, “Beautiful.”

“They look just like their mother,” he nodded.

She laughed lightly as they got to his room and took out her arm cuff and stethoscope to check his blood pressure, “Oh, yeah? You have any pictures of her?”

“Uh huh,” he nodded. “In my pocket. Take a look.”

She waited until she got her numbers and took the photos from his pocket and thumbed through them, _“Very_ nice, Keiji.”

“You like ‘em?” He held his hand out for them.

She placed the photos in his shaking hand, “I do. You have a beautiful family.”

He smiled at her over the photos.

“You wanna stay in your chair or get in bed?”

“Ah,” he said and looked to his bed. “I’ll stay here. I wanna go to the chappel before bed and I know if I get in there now I won’t be gettin’ back out before dinner.”

She nodded with a smile, “Alrighty. Call if you need me.”

“Sure.”

He stared back at his photo of Honey with the kids as she gathered her things neatly in her hand. His smile turned sad. He spoke just as she was leaving the room.

“Had.”

She paused and turned, “What’s that, Keiji?”

 _“Had,”_ he whispered. “I _had_ a beautiful family.”

She pressed her lips together, “You still have them. Don’t say that. Leo visits on Thursdays.”

He didn’t look away from their faces, “Yeah. I suppose that’s right.”

She frowned at the look of his eyes, “See you at dinner, okay?”

“Yeah. See you next time.”

She closed the door most of the way behind her and he stared at the door for a few minutes before turning his attention to the phone on his bedside table. He sighed and lowered his feet to the floor before painfully dragging himself across the room. He picked the phone up in his hand and stared at the receiver until he built up the nerve to dial. He slowly dragged his fingers over the buttons he had many times before.

He held the phone up to his ear as it dialled and then rang. And rang. And rang. And rang.

_‘Hey! You’ve reached the Romanos! Paul, Kathy, Evan, and Dorothy! Leave a message with a name and number at the call!’_

Akaashi sighed and placed the phone back on the receiver, “Dorothy, huh? Congratulations.”

He blinked away the lump in his throat as he picked the phone up again and dialled a new number he’d dialled many times before. That time, an actual human picked up.

_“Hullo?”_

Akaashi cleared his throat, “Hey, Joe. Is, uh— Is Cece there?”

_“Oh, Keiji. Uh, yeah. Gimme a second, okay?”_

Akaashi listened hopefully as there was static and muffled conversation on the other end of the phone.

_“She, uh… Not yet. I’m sorry.”_

“That’s alright, Joe. Can you— Can you just tell her I love her? Please? And uh, maybe tell Kathy and Paul congratulations on the new daughter?”

_“Sure, yeah. I can do that.”_

“Thanks. And— How are they? They doin’ okay?”

_“Yeah, they’re doin’ okay. Good. Great, even.”_

“Good. Good. That’s— T-That’s good. I’m glad.”

_“Yeah. Maggie actua—“_

_“Joe,_ dinner,” Cecilia’s voice snapped.

_“Sorry, Keiji, I gotta run.”_

Akaashi nodded, “Yeah. Thank you, Joe. May God’s love be with you.”

_“You too, Keiji. Bye bye, now.”_

“Bye,” Akaashi breathed to the dial tone.

He placed the phone down on the receiver once again before pressing into his eyes with his shaking hands, trying and failing to hold back his tears. He let out a shaky breath and picked the phone back up, finger instinctively running over a very familiar number. He held the phone to his ear, knowing what he’d get but hoping for something different.

_‘The number you have reached is disconnected. No more information is available for this number. Please hang up and try your call again.’_

He sighed and stared down to the phone as his tears fell from his eyes freely. He looked to the ceiling as his chest and lungs ached with the weight of his tears.

“That’s not what you’re supposed to say.”

He placed the phone back on the receiver and took his photos out again, moving to one of him and Honey in front of their casino while they were still young. They wore shorts and button up shirts with their sunglasses and wide smiles. He wiped a tear off Honey’s face to the best of his ability.

“You’re _supposed_ to tell me _‘If ya can’t reach me then you should know where to find me. Fuck off, narc’._ But you don’t say much anymore, do ya?”

He sucked as deep of breaths as he could in as he stared down at them together. Young and carefree. He flipped to a photo of Honey and Smokey glaring up at the camera with cigarettes hanging from their lips and smiled at them.

“Not long now, boys. I know how ya hate to wait. But it ain’t too much longer now. Patience is a virtue, and I’d say we’re all saints at this point. Wouldn’t ya?”

He snorted down at the photo of his friends as his tears slowed to a stop.

“No… Ain’t much longer now.”


End file.
